Why a secure parent-child bond is crucial to raising children

Many parents have their own ideas on raising children. The idea is usually that adults give commands, and children must obey. Why? They say children need to understand what it is like in "the real world". The fact of the matter is that a secure parent-child bond is what prepares for the real world. This means attachment parenting, which is the God-ordained method of dealing with children in the Bible.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents, not worrying about a thing. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children feeling safe in confiding into parents about anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing and non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. This Greek root word lifts up the attachment parenting context of Early Christian context, which was part of the customary law of the time. Customary law under Judeo-Christian tradition states, in sum, that parents work to win over the affection of their children, and children rest without a worry in the rest of parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment, in context, was understood clearly as a prohibition on all forms of punitive parenting, such as any form of punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. The Apostle Paul here was lifting up the offenses of theft and kidnapping, but especially kidnapping, to warn Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Greek Christian parents misused the book of Proverbs even then to justify their punishment habits. Paul was warning parents in the Colossian church that the seven rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses, and only apply to the legal context within Judaism then, denoting a form of judicial corporal punishment where the father was appointed by the court (usually by force - fathers were usually hostile witnesses against their own children) to issue 40 minus 1 lashes to warn his ADULT child of impending doom by execution if he didn't reform his behavior. We are talking about criminal activity here, not mere defiance or "back talk". 

In Ancient Israel and the Early Church both, the goal of every parent was a secure parent-child bond. Mothers played a large role in the upbringing of their children, and could decide unilaterally that an unsafe male, including her own husband, not touch the children. Children ranged beside her by day when at home, with both mother and child being completely naked, occasionally with children wanting to be picked up or snuggled with. By night, mothers slept next to their children to lull them to sleep, with both parties completely naked to soothe the child with skin-to-skin closeness. Children went completely naked in biblical times, and this made it easy for mothers to bond with their children.

Children were deified in biblical times, meaning seen as an extension of God. Children were seen then as angelic figures, like "gods" and "goddesses" that ruled over parents, and summoned parents to meet a need or give them what they wanted when what they wanted wasn't harmful. Children got a lot of what they wanted in biblical times, as children usually demand what they need in the form of a want. Parents in biblical times treated children with respect like they would God Himself, and took children seriously like they did God's Law and Commands. Whatever the child said was Law, for the most part, with parents overruling children rarely. Children were idealized as being in place of God while on earth.

Skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy is crucial for a secure parent-child bond, and this isn't just with infants. A way to reenact the context in the biblical tense, if you are their mother, is to snuggle with children right when getting out of the shower - just lay on the bed, and invite the children to come over. Skin-to-skin closeness is especially important for reassuring crying, in which case the proper Christian time-in procedure for mothers, in specific, is to not only kneel to the child's level, but hold them close to your bosom, head first, with them hearing your heartbeat. Within 1-2 minutes, the tantrum should be over. Children of all ages cry for the same reason a baby cries - they want love! So, why not give them some loving attention? 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Adult attraction to children: Individual responsibility to prevent child sexual abuse

Many adults think only a few people are guilty for child sexual abuse - pedophiles. Sexual abuse prevention in the United States has long been about blaming a few people "over there" who are "predestined to abuse a child". We are now finding the Truth - nobody is predestined to abuse a child in any way, especially sexually. In the past few years, several parent lobby children's charities have accepted this fundamental Truth. More and more people are waking up and seeing that pedophiles aren't the ones molesting children - we all are doing it as adults.

Child sexual abuse is abuse on the aside, not the main intergenerational line, but its harm is the most noted in the media. Surely, though, there are other forms of abuse just as bad - I endured it, and it was excused by law. All adults are guilty for their existence in relation to children, since all adults have the capacity to abuse or wrong a child under the right/wrong conditions. 

How do you understand sexual abuse of children? Location, location, location. Also, a choice to abuse a child sexually. A sexually abusive adult will find themselves alone with a child they are attracted to, usually while not wanting to acknowledge the attraction. They are pulled, pulled, and then pulled some more, thinking they have no choice, thinking they have no self-control. Then, they dream up some biblical excuse, and then they sexually assault or rape a child. Why was the perpetrator even there? Why was the perpetrator drinking? Why was the perpetrator doing so many drugs? Why didn't the perpetrator just take the attraction elsewhere, like a gentleman would? Why did he/she have to act like such a depraved savage?

Being attracted to anyone or anything is not a sin, as attractions are unchosen. Acting on any attraction outside of marriage, including with a child, is a sin. It says in Colossians 3:5-7 KJV:

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on children of disobedience: In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.

The Greek root word translated "inordinate affection" denotes adult sexual entitlement, and is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers to sexual desire for children to the point of taking the first steps to approach a child sexually, and this leads to adult fornication or child sexual abuse, which is denoted by the Greek root word πορνεία (Latin: porneia), with this Greek root word referring to when adult sexual entitlement is perceived by the child, especially in terms of perceived sexual contact.

Note what is absent in the abovementioned paragraph - a prohibition on masturbation. The Early Church deacons and elders actually recommended sexual fantasy for a child through masturbation for pedophiles. In biblical society, pedophilia was normalized, but only in abstinent format. Most men were attracted to their children. However, even coarse jesting about children was seen as impure speech. One had to speak about their desires in a clinical celebratory manner that gave thanks.

All adults are capable of sexually abusing a child under the right/wrong conditions. So, what can YOU do as a responsible adult so that you don't sexually abuse a child? First, gauge your risk. The closer you are to children, the greater your risk, especially if you are male, and even more so if the children are pubescent in terms of sexual development. Gauge your risk, and then stay far away from it. 

Prepare yourself for an emergency situation by not repressing sexual thoughts about children, and allowing yourself to think them. If you repress anything, including something like sexual thoughts about children, it will control you, and guide your actions. Thus, when you repress sexual desires for children instead of allow yourself to feel them, you are actually more likely to sexually abuse a child when you are alone with an attractive child. Most sexual abusers of children were not prepared for the situation they were in, and then they acted on opportunity, not knowing they had a choice in the matter. It is a state of learned helplessness, where they simultaneously deny how they feel and think they have no choice in the matter. 

For the menfolk reading this, we will now do a thought experiment. Imagine a teenage girl. Imagine her with a tank top and short shorts on. Imagine you are alone with her, and you are her teacher - think teacher detention. What is your first thought? That is what is so crucial about sexual abuse prevention - and if you didn't want to think anything, YOU, sir, are part of the problem. Think that sexual thought, and run with it straight to your bedroom, and keep doing it until you know how stupid it is to do anything sexual with her in real life. Chances are, at least towards the end of practice, it should just be a relief. It is called thought re-channeling - that is how you re-channel sexual thoughts. For women, this should work in some cases with teenage boys.

A pedophile is simply a parent with sexual aggression features on the surface (and usually no physical aggression feature). A parent is attached to the adult, and is a bunch of wires encased in an encasement. There is always two components to parental aggression - parent anger and parent attraction. Parent attraction is repressed usually, and comes out in certain situations, usually when the child is bathing. Usually, fathers in particular notice signs of puberty, and fight back against any sexual connotations they may attach to it. A pedophile simply is at another level of parent - they have no choice but to acknowledge sexual desire, due to the surface-level nature of their sexually aggressive thread. The idea is to masturbate to sexual fantasy about children to bring your pedophilic desires to the surface, where they can more easily be countered with information about why sexual abuse is wrong, which is then absorbed in the encasement of the parent.

I myself avoid any interaction with children, sexual or otherwise, lest I get my wires crossed when talking to a young girl. If interaction is necessary, I interact on formal terms, limiting interaction, and showing them a cautious facade. When the child invites me to have a more casual conversation, I then talk more casually about what the child wants to talk about. I save the "did you know?" gaslighting I know I am capable of for my mother. Usually, though, I only engage in interaction towards children, if at all, on more formal terms, meaning sticking to formalities and keeping conversation sparse. I am now afraid to interact with a child, but in a healthy way, meaning I know there are dangers if I start flirting with her, and so I avoid it. I also masturbate to thoughts of children, and enjoy it, to the point where I don't need the real thing anymore. I can just whip it out, and do it on my own, and the imagined imagery is enough. Usually, I am more attracted to a child later, meaning when I get home, and not in the moment when they are there.

I used to abuse children sexually, in the form of sexual harassment. I would wave flirtatiously at children, and get acclimated to that behavior at a semi-public swimming area near me. I would also follow children around, out of sexual attraction to them. I had to learn to become un-acclimated to the swimming area, and just look. This is what I have done to contribute to the collective victimization of children, and thus I am undeserving of the trust and concern I am receiving from my victims. Every single child is my victim given that I am the depraved and entitled adult that I am.

Pedophilia doesn't have much to do with my choices - pedophilia is simply a mental disorder an adult can acquire, usually starting in late childhood. The problem, ultimately, is the choice an adult makes to sexually violate or harass a child, and that choice often comes from poor sexual self-care and being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in a way that makes the abuser responsible for even being there. There is no excuse - a man especially can simply voice their preference not to be alone with a child if they are in a capacity where they work with children, and there are alternate reasons that work as well. Sexually abusing a child is a choice, not an urge that a man is "helpless" to. Pedophiles are most hated by religious abusive parents who sexually abuse their pedophilic children through sexual shaming, and so pedophiles cannot be scapegoated for the very abuse they suffer from their own parents.

Every single adult is guilty in relation to children, and is deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for existing in relation to children. All adults are capable of child sexual abuse under the right/wrong conditions, and we as adults have repeatedly and incessantly abused and wronged children since time immemorial. Think peacekeeping and colonialism.

The depraved and decadent, defiled adult fornicators of children who sexually harass, assault, and/or rape children will BURN in torrents of Hell-fire! Repent! 

 

Children lying: Why children lie

Many parents think that children lie just because "that's what children do, so we punish them for it". This is a common mistake among parents. The fact of the matter is that children lie because they fear getting punished. So, why punish them at all?

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love, as denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting in the safety and security of parents, without a worry in the world. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children confiding into parents anything and everything that is on their minds, including admissions of wrongdoing and non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. A healthy child who does not have trauma from punishment will tell parents everything that is on their mind, and then they might let a few accounts of wrongdoing fly out, knowing they will be treated with grace and forgiveness afterwards.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment, in context, prohibits all punishment and controlling demeanor in children, deeming it kidnapping. The Apostle Paul here was rebuking Greek Christian parents who were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify bringing their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Paul here was warning Christian parents in the Colossian church that all seven verses in Proverbs that mention the rod are repealed verses, and refer to an ancient, archaic legal punishment inherent to the Old Testament context - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a final warning before putting a lawbreaking ADULT child to death. This punishment was closely related to the death penalty in Ancient Israel. Those harsh punishments were abolished by Christ on the cross - He endured them so that mankind didn't have to anymore.

Why do children lie? They fear punishment. When parents punish their children, they don't solve behavioral issues, but instead cause children to hide their behavioral issues. A healthy child does not lie when a parent confronts them about something they did. Instead, it just comes out, and they spill the beans.

Child victims of abuse DO lie, in fact, but in order to protect abusive adults, and not to "get adults in trouble". This is because they fear retribution from the perpetrator. Punishment serves the same purpose in a child's life - it is hostage taking that forces a child to do things the parent's way. The child will then do things their own way anyway, but will hide it.

Children in biblical times were not punished. Instead, parents used attachment parenting methods to keep children honest, by keeping an honest dialogue and, more importantly, fostering a secure parent-child bond. Such a bond was built by skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children ranged next to mothers by day, and snuggled next to her by night, with mothers comforting their children in their bosom when they were upset or tired, with both mother and child completely naked when in the home, or with children  snuggled next to mother in swaddling blankets when out and about. Children told biblical parents everything, occasionally letting fly something bad that they did, and then they were rewarded on their honesty. This is because of the secure parent-child bond that was commonplace in Hebrew and Christian homes in the biblical context. Children were deified in biblical times, and had the authority to order parents around legally as to their needs, with parents being a servant of God through their child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Good behavior in public venues: How to instill orderly behavior in a public place in children

Many parents want their children to behave in an orderly fashion in public places. These places include stores, restaurants, and churches. Many parents want a quick answer and a quick fix that will sedate a child in public. There is none. Children are going to be children, and parents just have to deal with it, until children are ready to behave in an orderly fashion.

Parents should show discipline at all times in a public place, as is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia). This word refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline, starting with an admission of a wicked and depraved sin nature, and ending at feeling entitled to nothing from children, and being grateful for all the joy your child brings you, leading to a chastened up attitude that demands none, and asks little. This ultimately leads to peaceable and orderly behavior in parents, and then children once they are all grown up. Children can't control themselves, but parents can control themselves to show a good example of discipline and righteousness to children. 

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, with this being denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents, without a worry in the world. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents, in a public place, provide a shelter for their children to behave however they want, possibly running around the store, screaming, and so forth, and then they run back to parents for closeness. Children up until age 3-4 can be wrapped up in swaddling blankets, and held close to mothers in particular, in skin-to-skin fashion. In a secure parent-child bond, an older child would range next to the parent, but in an energetic way typical of their age. Children should be able to confide anything into parents, and be listened to and validate for that confidence. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul is lifting up the Law on theft and kidnapping, prohibiting punishment and controlling demeanor, with most child abuse being kidnapping due to its hostage-taking nature. Paul was rebuking Greek Christian parents for bringing their custom of spanking children into the church. Paul would have none of it in the Christian Churches of God, and called for the excommunication of any father or mother who was punitive at all with their children. Some Christian parents were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habits of their children even then. Paul was pointing out that Proverbs is simply wisdom literature - a list of wise sayings - and not a parenting manual. All seven of the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses, and do not refer to raising children. They refer to legal punishment inherent of the Old Testament, namely the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. When God's Word was translated into the Latin, it was mistranslated to justify the agenda of the Roman Catholic Church, which was to pander to European pagans who beat their children, allowing their abuse of their children in return for Christianization of their lands.

Most of the time, a power struggle erupts when a child wants something from the store. Usually, the parent is unwilling to get the item because they believe the child is being manipulative. The child isn't being manipulative - he/she simply wants attention, so give it to them by buying what they want. Usually, children stop asking after parents get them what they want, or else they get the same thing every time, and are grateful for your patronage to their needs.

If you have to say "no" because the child wants something outlandish, such as an expensive bicycle, know that they are going to cry. If you are their mother, hold them to your bosom, head first, and reassure them that you are there and you can understand how upset they are - and try to understand how upset they are. Remember when you were a child. Fathers, with the mother's permission, can hold an older child over his shoulder when crying, or cradle a child aged 0-3 when they cry.

Children never left the line of sight of adults in biblical times. In those times, children were deified in every aspect of life, but especially when acting in an imperfect and flawed way. Children were seen as worldly extensions of God, with parents being the servant of God, meaning their child. Children rested in their deified stance, being pampered on their throne, not having to worry about anything. Children in public today should not be made to worry about behaving like a little adult either...This context contained herein applied today just as it did during the time of Christ.

Children are not going to behave in a peaceable and orderly fashion right away. Most behaviors that children are punished for are developmentally appropriate behaviors, meaning understandable given their age and development. Most behaviors in children that bother you as a parent, but not the child or anyone else, are simply phases that the child is going through, and should be let go. Crying of any kind is a plead for help, meaning older children cry for the same reason a child cries - they just want love! So, give your child love when they cry in public, and if you are the mother, snuggle them in your bosom - many mothers wear shirts with plunging necklines to service their children, not their husband or men in general.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Independence: Why this was the goal of every biblical parent

Many American parents go by the biblical adage "spare the rod, spoil the child" when discussing their parenting goal. They want a child that is obedient to authority blindly, when not all of authority in the world is well-meaning. Only God's Authority exists eminently, and God's Law is above the law of the land. God helps those who help themselves - but first, children need to be helped in a way that enables them to shake you off as a parent when they are ready.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, which is denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself last as a parent, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children feeling safe in confiding in parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing and non-conforming traits. This word implies attachment parenting, lifting up the Judeo-Christian customary laws commanding attachment parenting of children. Both Jewish and Christian law included customary law not just allowing for attachment parenting, but commanding it.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment, in context, was understood as prohibiting all forms of punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, with the Apostle Paul simply lifting up the Law on theft and kidnapping prohibiting punitive parenting. This commandment was intended to rebuke Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Greek Christian parents were misusing the book of Proverbs even then as an excuse for their own punishment habits. Paul was explaining that the rod verses instead refer to the 40 minus 1 lashes that were intended to warn an errant ADULT child that they were about to be put to death. This legal practice was intrinsically related to the death penalty in the Old Testament, so much that the two could not be separated. The Early Christians shunned the death penalty, and so they shunned the 40 minus 1 lashes as well. Customary law in the Early Church commanded a secure parent-child bond through attachment parenting methods.

Attachment parenting is like providing a safe place for children to cling to before becoming fully independent and functioning adults. Children rarely left the side of mothers until age 6 in biblical times. Children ranged next to their mother by day, with both mother and child in the nude when at home, and children being in the nude all the time. Children, by night, slept next to mothers. Children were close to mothers and fathers, slowly asserting their independence.

Children were kept close to parents, and were heavily supervised, until they shook their parents off in terms of closeness, asserting their independence. In which case, parents allowed children to prove themselves. Children were allowed to develop naturally in biblical homes, and so adulthood came earlier, by the age of 13 in the case of both boys and girls in the Early Church. In Ancient Israel, girls instead became women at age 12.

The first step of gaining independence was shaking off co-sleeping, and then children tried to prove independence to their parents by doing all sorts of things on their own, including religious studies. An adult, in biblical society, studies all of the Law and came to a conclusion as to how to apply it. Most children started shaking off their parents starting at age 6, but were supervised closely still until the age of majority, while at the same time being allowed to play freely.

Society in biblical times did not favor blind obedience, but instead independence and self-reliance. A child was not expected to be self-reliant, but instead was given freedom while being supervised. God helps those who help themselves. Parents in biblical times did do things for their children, yes, but only until children insisted on doing those things by themselves, in which case they were supervised while doing what they wanted independently. Children were instructed for later the value of hard work and not relying on your neighbor for a handout. Some children could not be independent even as adults, and so the church picked up the tab, stepping in with Christian charity.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Autism and co-morbid disorders: How to deal with aggression (pro-social vulnerability, pro-social crying/punching bag)

Many parents face it every day. They get hit. They get slapped. They get kicked or bit. Aggression is a behavior associated with autism. However, most aggressive behavior in autism is from a co-morbid mental disorder in the child.

It is a fact that most childhood aggression in a child with autism is not because of the autism, but because of co-morbid disorders, except in cases where the child is non-verbal and lashes out aggressively in order to communicate. Common disorders that cause aggressive symptoms in a child with autism are bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, ADHD, and OCD. Most of the time, children need medication for their aggressive symptoms. Autism itself is a docile condition in most cases - it is the co-morbid mental disorders associated with the autism that make children with autism fly off the handle. Medication is crucial in these cases, and before the child can be properly medicated (which takes a few years, on average), the child needs less structure, more time to be themselves, and for parents to be patient until the proper medication, at the proper dosage, is found. I myself am medicated for childhood bipolar disorder, and I can attest that it is not something that can be melded by "more structure". Children like I was need less structure, and more free time to be themselves.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, which is denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself last as a parent, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but from restful trust, with children feeling safe in confiding into parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits. This word implies the Judeo-Christian custom of attachment parenting. In the case of an aggressive child, this would include vulnerability tactics such as incurring aggression onto oneself as a child.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, especially child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or imprisonment. This commandment is understood in context as prohibiting all forms of punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, including seclusion and unnecessary restraint in the modern context. The Apostle Paul was simply lifting up the Law on theft and kidnapping that prohibited punitive parenting, rebuking Greek Christians for bringing their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. The Greek Christian parents were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habits. Paul would have none of it, and excommunicated the Greek Christians who used punishment instead of the attachment parenting customary in Jewish and Christian circles. Attachment parenting was the established norm in both the Old and New Testaments, meaning customary law then required that parents have a secure parent-child bond with their children.

What does one do when a child is aggressive? In biblical times, parents who had aggressive children incurred the aggression onto themselves, then crying in the midst of the aggression. This was a vulnerability tactic used by mothers in biblical times, and also fathers. At the end of every Christian parent's rope then was a ball of tears. Children didn't take advantage of the crying, but were then alarmed by what they did, and took steps to make amends with parents. Children with aggressive issues usually snap out of their aggressive phase when an adult cries. They are more scared than even you are.

The way to avoid most aggression is to listen and validate emotions just as they are ramping up. Language such as "I can tell you are upset, so let's talk about it" is crucial in preventing rage attacks or meltdowns. Many times, a child behaves a certain way due to wanting attention. So, why not just give them attention of the quality sort, as opposed to false encouragement often feared by adults. Most Jewish and Christian parents in biblical times listened to the upset of children, and even heeded the orders of children.

Again, this advice can be used in a school setting. I support laws allowing to put their hands on a child to calm them down and reassure them. Teachers are parents in loco parentis to students, and a good parent is willing to hug and snuggle with their child when the child is having a hard time. Here in Pennsylvania, special education law, and state law in general, allows for teachers to hug or embrace a child who is upset or ramping up. Such is another attachment parenting strategy that could be used in the classroom right when a child is ramping up. Vulnerability tactics should be a last resort, for when a child is already escalated.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context: How it applies today

Many parents think they have the right to demand respect from children. This is a common form of child abuse that parents commit, which they justify using the Fifth Commandment to honor parents. Honoring parents in biblical times, particularly the Old Testament, meant something very specific, and not a vague command allowing parents to pretend to be God.

The Fifth Commandment states in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: so that thy days may be long in the land the LORD thy God giveth thee

This refers not to simple back talk or opposition of parents, but to actual elder abuse. The Fifth Commandment was the prelude to the parent protection laws, with "do not curse parents" referring to a gaslighting curse - adult children used to send their parents on their merry way. "Do not strike parents" referred to, in practice, repeatedly beating parents, with each incident clearly documented. Testifying against your own child in Ancient Israel was a shameful affair. Elder abuse was not at all common, but when it happened, most people rushed to the side of the perpetrator, excusing his or her behavior with statements such as "Where did that child learn to behave that way?" Very rarely were children convicted of elder abuse, and even then, none actually were put to death. Elder abuse today, as defined by state laws, is covered by the Fifth Commandment, meaning simply having "a smart mouth" is not elder abuse. Elder abuse is far more serious than a child talking back. It is an ADULT child taking advantage of their aging parents, with the aging parent usually feeling powerless over their own child.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but from restful trust in parents, with children feeling safe in telling parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Children, in this loving and affirming environment, learn to take after parents, wanting to be like parents, then following the example of children. Children will not honor the example of parents right away, as they cannot be reasoned with on the level of an adult, with children engaging in childish behaviors that may annoy the parent, but not the child or anyone else. Children do not fully follow the example of parents until they are young adults - the example peeks out early on, but doesn't fully show in the child until young adulthood.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul is lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents for bringing their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin were misusing Proverbs to justify their punishment habits even in the 1st Century, when this passage was written. Paul was warning parents in the Colossian church that Proverbs is simply wisdom literature - a list of wise sayings - and not a parenting manual. The rod verses in Proverbs - all seven of them - are repealed verses, and have nothing to do with raising a child. They instead refer to the ancient, archaic legal practice within Judaism where fathers were court ordered to issue 40 minus 1 lashes as a form of judicial corporal punishment of their ADULT child that was violating the law to the level of a criminal offense. The punishment was intended simply to warn an ADULT child that death is imminent if they re-offend. This punishment was closely linked to the death penalty in the Old Testament, and the death penalty was a shunned institution in the Early Church. The Early Christians enforced the Law using pro-social non-association, as a individual collective unit.

All the Fifth Commandment means to a minor or dependent child is rest. Parents do all the labor and good works for their children, and children rest in it, not having to work at all for the love of their parents. Children do not even have to love their parents back, and it is recommended that they don't, as love requires labor.

This rest in parents is one where the child is not made to worry. They don't have to worry about behaving in just the right fashion. They don't have to worry about pleasing their parents (parents please their children). Children can simply shout or bark orders at parents, and parents are the ones that have to worry about serving their child, not the other way around.

Children rest as extensions of God (see Matt. 25:31-46), giving lawful and binding orders to parents, resting on their throne, not having to worry about a thing. The chain of command in true biblical parenting is applied in first-to-last fashion, meaning children order their parents around as representatives of God, and parents merely serve God, meaning their child, by seeking to please their child and keep him/her happy. 

Children were deified in biblical times, and were idealized as "gods" and "goddesses". Children were seen as imperfect extensions of God, with them being loved for their imperfections, not despite them. Children could order parents around, issuing lawful and binding orders. Children rested on their throne, worrying about nothing, being pampered by parents. Children were shown the same respect as a good Christian would show God, fearing and revering children as having such divine status.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!