Many parents think that the Bible supports, or even commands, the corporal punishment of a child. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents cite a few passages in the book of Proverbs, as well as a passage in Hebrews, as their "proof" that spanking is biblical. However, the arguments in the New Testament in Heb. 12:5-6 sit on shaky ground. The Bible in Heb. 12:5-6 instead refers to trials and tribulations sent the way of the believer.
And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
This passage, when understood correctly, can be comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, as is the case here. The rod in Hebrews was a metaphor for enduring hardship. If a Christian then had a long day at work, they instead said "God whipped me hard today". God obviously does not come down from the Heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, as only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of the children that He loves the most. However, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does, in fact, harm them. Paul here was reassuring the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.
The teaching of "biblical spanking" is a man-made teaching. The Bible nowhere legitimately endorses or commands punishing a child. God does not want His Parenting methods to be used by earthly parents, lest they get it wrong. However, the Bible does touch on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing them altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Whenever you hurt someone's feelings, you need to apologize. It works the same way with children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to apologize whenever you hurt their feelings. In many cases, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever your child cannot accept limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons. However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. But, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing any offenses in a child as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, adn opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
The staple punishment for children in the broader Greco-Roman world consisted of a spanking to a bare bottom with an open hand. However, the Early Christians shunned the outside world, and shunned all corporal punishment of children - or at all - as of this world. The Early Christians were not well-integrated into Rome, contrary to popular legend.
Punitive parents were seen in the Early Church were seen and treated as church infiltrators. Paul would have none of this punitive parenting tainting the holy waters of the church. He issued a convicting commandment on the punishment issue to the parishes at Colossae and Ephesus.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
