Expanding child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for stronger laws against child abuse

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. Most American parents support the present-day definitions of child abuse. However, the Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse. We are a Judeo-Christian nation, and thus the Bible helps us understand how to frame legislation, including child abuse laws.

 

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent that is sorely disappointed when they don't get what they feel that they deserve from children. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. However, even any parent anger directed towards children is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was seen as child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent from parents, in the form of a half-apology, when children cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translating "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto parents, not the child becoming atheist. An atheist in the Early Church was seen as an abused child, not a "lost soul" in need of "winning over". 

The ancients in the Bible even had an understanding of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers to, in short, any sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage between one man and one woman, with the marriage needing to be equitable in nature. Most child sexual abuse then happened in the family home, and even in the Old Testament, sexually abusing a child was seen as a capital offense. Most men then had a sexual crush on their daughters, in which case they masturbated to sexual thoughts of their daughters. It is a myth that men raped their daughters in the Early Church. Nothing usually happened apart from sexual fantasy about children in the form of righteous masturbation, or masturbation without pornography for health reasons. All pornography then was seen as contraband, including pornography then that depicted children. Pornography was defined as any depiction with intent to sexually arouse others. 

Child abuse in the Early Church was prosecuted by way of internal church investigation. The investigation usually started with a child confiding into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, a council of three elders subpoenaed the parents to testify before them. If the parents were defensive at all when being cross-examined, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever endorsing anything punitive towards a child. All of the biblical writers then wrote parenting manuals that advocated for attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote a parenting manual advocating attachment parenting for minor children, with the rod in Proverbs referring to a sentence for a crime, namely the 40 minus 1 lashes. It just so happens that these parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s.

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. Even our legal codes are based off of biblical teaching. However, our biblical understanding of childhood has advanced, and thus so should our legal understanding of childhood, including child abuse. It is about time we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense and pass stronger child abuse definition. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Passing down the faith: How to instruct children in the Lord without punitive measures

Many parents want children to have values. This is a common goal for parents to have for their children. Most American parents want their children to embrace a values system of some sort. However, many American parents believe in "breaking their will" in regard to children. The fact of the matter is that there are better ways to impart Judeo-Christian values onto children. 

God's Law on proper discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that religious instruction should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key here in proper parenting is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent from parents, in the form of a half-apology, whenever a child cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit to never losing your cool with your child ever again, as parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase translating roughly to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

There is no need to "break the will" of children. Religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul was referring here to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep up the Bible study. Then, fathers said to their children "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children were curious about Scripture, and fathers were quick to give pointers on the context.

Many parents seek to hasten religious development in children. For example, children are often forced into grateful postures in order to "make them grateful". Instead, children find grateful postures on their own, once they hit a certain level of perfection. I tie my hands behind my back to show gratitude, and nobody taught me to do so. It just feels comfy to be in that position all of the time.

A common form of religious instruction is to "break the will" of children. The idea is to keep punishing children until they submit to Christ. The problem with that is that a child does not have a will to be broken. A will is something a narcissist has, not an innocent child. A child instead wants things, usually in a benign way, meaning children don't ask for much. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Adult attraction to children: Individual responsibility for adults attracted to children

Many parents support preventing child sexual abuse. This is a normal attitude on the part of a parent. What parent does not want their child to be safe? Most adults go by the concept of collective responsibility, meaning the collective stops an adult "pedophile" from sexually abusing a child. Usually, it isn't found out anyways until someone blows the whistle. However, the Bible calls for individual responsibility in preventing child sexual abuse. 

Every single adult is individually collectively responsible for the sexual abuse of children, as any old adult can sexually abuse a child under the right/wrong conditions. Usually, child sexual abuse is a crime of opportunity, not a career crime. Most adults who sexually abuse children don't take care of their sexual needs, and then it spills out sideways onto the nearest child victim. 

The Bible teaches righteous avoidance in cases of fornication, with fornication being denoted in the Bible by the Greek root word πορνεία (Latin: porneia). Basically, righteous avoidance is mapping out when you would offend against a child, and then avoiding those conditions. Also, righteous avoidance refers to righteous masturbation, meaning an adult should masturbate to the first child that comes to mind. Usually, the child in his fantasy is his daughter. If it smells off, you need to do it again, until you come to a point where the attraction is in the background. It should usually take about one or two sessions to fully purge a child attraction. If it takes more, you are a pedophile, and you need to own up to it. Masturbation without pornography was seen in biblical times as a way out of trouble. Pornography of any kind was prohibited under Christian law. 

Most pedophiles do not sexually abuse children, and are the last of adults to do so. 3 out of 4 pedophiles have never sexually abused a child. Sometimes, a pedophile does sexually abuse a child, in which case they rarely mean harm by it. Most child rapists who are pedophiles have a low IQ which makes the case excusable by the police standard. In the case of pedophiles with a normal IQ, the offender usually is obvious about their crushes on children, with the crushes coming like train cars. 

I myself have sexually abused a child. My main modus operandi was street harassment, in the form of flirtation, namely the "hey baby" wave. However, I did sexually harass a cousin in the attic of my grandparents' house. I freshened up her sides as she was beginning to grow breasts. I now know the boundaries around children. I didn't until I shed my atheism, and became a Christian. I am an ex-atheist because I was clueless as to the boundaries in the past. I am deserving of nothing but prison just for crossing those boundaries, and so I am grateful for the grace coming from the police. I am a regret adult in that capacity, meaning I regret how I related to children in the past. I did much of it as an adult as a child, meaning I was an adult in the course of my sexual offenses against children. 

A pedophile is a natural parent towards children, but of the parallel sort. In the Early Church, pedophiles were among the clergypersons giving parenting advice. Some pedophiles in the Early Church were appointed to clergy, where they wrote whole sermons convicting parents on their parenting. Some pedophiles even took in children when nobody else would, including the Apostle Paul. Parenting manuals were often written by pedophiles, and were not written then in the supportive tense, but rather in the convicting tense, telling parents what to avoid and then expecting them to parent properly as comes naturally. Whenever you see parenting advice come in a spiritually convicting way, think pedophile, but the non-contact type. Even if the pedophile had a sin list in relation to children, all they had to do was convict themselves in that regard, and then they could convict other parents.

Most pedophiles in the Early Church did not become clergypersons. But, whenever they brought up the topic of pedophilia, it was assumed that they needed help to some degree. If they needed so, the parents stood in between the pedophile and the child they were sexually attracted to. However, all that was necessary in most cases was a person to talk out their desires with. Today, a therapist can easily fit this role for a pedophile. Thanks to my lobbying, most all trauma-informed mental health professionals are on board with treating pedophiles the right way, as most pedophiles come with special trauma needs of their own. It is an under-the-table type of understanding pedophiles, but most trauma-informed professionals are willing to keep the secret of the pedophile, now that they understand what pedophilia is. 

The hysteria about pedophiles is often attributed to us as trauma survivors. However, the mental health stigma for admitting to being a pedophile started not here, but from Pope Constantine. Pope Constantine wrote an ex-cathedra statement saying that when attraction to children is admitted by an adult, "all shall disperse", meaning you lose all your friends and family. Most Catholic priests who sexually abuse altarboys are not pedophiles, but instead are "ex-gay" men who repress homosexual desires. What doesn't help is that masturbation alone is a big sin in the Roman Catholic Church even today, due to the alleged causal link to pornography in men in particular. I oppose pornography entirely on Christian grounds, but support solo masturbation to sexual thoughts of children. It isn't the masturbation that is the problem, but the powerful images that often come with it. A pedophile should have no problem identifying by their mental health disorder to anyone that they need help from. Many times, when they feel completely listened to, they drop the topic on their own. 

The depraved and decadent, defiled adults who rape or sexually assault children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into torrents of ever-burning Hell-fire prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent!

Child discipline: How to discipline your child without punishment or force

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common goal amongst American parents. However, most American parents equate discipline with punishment. But, the fact of the matter is that proper discipline should not hurt.

God's Law on proper discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking or punishing children. But, it is not enough to stop spanking or punishing children. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings in children are inevitable when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology to children for hurting their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent from parents, in the form of a half-apology, when children cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit to not losing your cool with your child, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions onto children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

This second stanza of this commandment spells out proper discipline, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia), and refers to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in children, and when parents saw these behaviors in children, they praised and encouraged more good behavior of the same. Parents in the Early Church imparted a good Christian example for children to emulate, with this example being backed up by praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul here was referring to religious instruction of a certain type. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement in their religious learning. Fathers then said to children, "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This second stanza refers to the Hebraic parenting tradition of positive reinforcement, with this tradition predating Christ by thousands of years.

Sometimes, a parent needs to set a limit with their child. However, them accepting limits is another story. Whenever a child cannot accept a set limit, it is a good time to apologize to them for hurting their feelings. If you refuse to apologize for hurting your child's feelings, it is then officially an offense under God's Law.

It is a myth that children in the Bible were raped as a means of discipline. Sexual correction of childhood behaviors was completely prohibited under Christian law. Fathers did have parent attractions to their children, usually their daughters, but fathers were prohibited under Christian law from sexually abusing their child in any respect. Instead, fathers disciplined their children by catching them being good, and then praising them for it. Fathers did masturbate to thoughts of children, however. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Pedophilia awareness month: Mental health awareness for pedophiles

Many parents worry about their child falling prey to a child rapist. This is a common and normal worry amongst parents everywhere. However, most people think pedophiles are to blame for the epidemic of child sexual abuse. This month is pedophilia awareness month. That means we shine a light on the rare mental disorder that is pedophilia. It isn't what you think it is.

A pedophile is not an anger packet directed towards children. A pedophile is a human being with a sexual preference for children under age 14, in the form of arrested sexual development. Most pedophiles have a form of immature autism with the narrow focus being on children and childhood. Pedophilia is a genetic disorder falling on the genetic lines of autism. Most autistic people do not have pedophilia, but most pedophiles have a child-centered form of autism. Most adults with autism find children to be "too noisy" or "too chaotic". Thus, when someone with autism does get along naturally with children, think pedophile, but the right type. A pedophile usually has trauma of some sort, in most cases in the form of parent trauma. 

Pedophilia is arguably the most stigmatized mental health disorder out there. Most people who ally themselves with pedophiles blame trauma survivors for the societal hysteria concerning pedophiles. However, the hysteria predates survivors by a long time. When Rome took over the Western Christian Church, Pope Constantine issued an ex-cathedra statement stating that when someone admitted to sexual attractions to children, that "all friends and family must disperse". The word "pedophile" was intended by Viennese psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing as a means to excuse adults attracted to children from this fate. Not only were pedophiles banned, but also siding with a pedophile. Hence, trauma survivors have long advocated for pedophiles by attracting just the right opposition to their anti-pedophile proposals. Most trauma survivors know that a pedophile can have trauma, but they made up a falsehood in order to be corrected by a pedophile. 

A pedophile can be a survivor in their own right, meaning pedophiles are usually fully aware of trauma from the time that they were abused as children. Most people need to dig a little to get to childhood trauma. A pedophile is inherently traumatized when they are abused by parents or other adults. We as a movement are winning over pedophiles currently, following the Danish model of pedophile inclusion in a children's rights movement. 

A pedophile is a person with a valid mental health disorder. Pedophilia in and of itself becomes a disorder officially when the pedophile needs therapy. Most pedophilia can be treated in an outpatient setting, meaning all they need is to give a clinical celebratory disclosure to a therapist. Most trauma-informed professionals know how to treat a pedophile, and I helped with that by being a case study for survivors and other professionals to understand from. A pedophile needs to be allowed to masturbate to sexual thoughts of children. Solo masturbation without pornography does not lead to more masturbation, but instead leads to less masturbation - the more you masturbate as a pedophile, the less you need to. 

Most child sexual abuse is not committed by pedophiles. Child sexual abuse usually is a crime of opportunity, meaning a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to rape a child. Usually, it is intended as a policing form of abuse against "child immodesty". Most child rapists have a sexual preference for adults, but target children who are sexually threatening to them in terms of "immodesty".. 

A pedophile is capable of sexually abusing a child, much like every single adult is. However, most pedophilic offenses against children are not done with intent to harm, meaning the pedophile simply was unaware of the boundaries in relation to children. The most common form of pedophile rape is committed by an abuser with a low IQ. Other than that, moat abuser pedophiles are obvious abusers in their sexual harassment of children. 1 in 4 pedophiles are guilty of child sexual abuse. Most pedophiles are aware of the boundaries, and painfully so since they are morbidly afraid of sexually abusing a child.

Most pedophile self-hatred comes from the fear in the pedophile that they might sexually abuse a child. Most pedophiles do care about children, but they fail to understand that their fear of abusing a child sexually makes them a good person, not a bad person. An anguished pedophile disclosure is not a form of manipulation, but is a pedophile being afraid of doing something that they never will. Being told that they have a "date with the devil" from professionals is the last thing a pedophile needs. Even if they have urges, those urges come from fear of something that is never going to happen, meaning that whenever you fight back sexual desires that inherent in nature, they come back as urges. 

I myself have abused a child sexually in the past. My main modus operandi was street harassment. I also committed sexual harassment in the attic with a female cousin of mine. I am currently under investigation for a rape that never happened. However, there is a kernel of truth in most false accusations. I never committed rape in my lifetime, but I did my share of sexual harassment. I did not mean harm at all with my actions, and so the police let it go and charged the false accusators with making a false child abuse report. Two aunts and an uncle made a false and fraudulent prediction that I would commit a string of rapes starting with a cousin. I know the boundaries now, thanks to my Christian faith. I struggled with boundaries in the past. I am grateful for the grace afforded by the police, as I deserve none of it. I have learned that a false accusation does not go on your criminal record, as the police shred all of the documents pertaining to your case. All the police had to do was issue a warning on my doorstep for summary harassment. The police then believed the false accusation, and then they were replaced by police who were not promised a false raid. My little cousin would never lie about me abusing her, meaning she was falsely accused by the police then of being a rape victim. I stand by my cousin, and don't think she is guilty of anything.

The depraved and decadent, defiled adults who rape and sexually assault children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into torrents of ever-burning Hell-fire prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent!

Defiance: Why not to punish a defiant child

Many parents have had to deal with it. A child acting defiant to parents. This is a common and normal behavior in children. What most parents do not understand is that children aren't out to get parents with their defiance. They just cannot accept a limit set by parents. Punishing a child for being defiant constitutes child abuse under God's Law.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in your child. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever your hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half-apology, in the case of a limit that a child cannot accept not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology to children for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. One thing that hurts a child's feelings is when they cannot accept a set limit. One way children express their displeasure for set limits is by acting defiant to parents. This is not intended by the child as an attempt to "undermine parental authority". Children have trouble accepting limits as a normal stage of development. The key is to apologize to your child whenever they cannot accept a limit, and mean it, even if it is just a half-apology to reassure a child of good intent in parents. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Defiance is not an attempt for a child to "undermine parental authority". Instead, defiance is normal behavior in children. Usually, children who act defiant cannot accept a set limit. Thus, they need help working through their upset, namely with an apology to children. 

Most parents punish defiant children due to anger. Most parents focus on their parent anger towards children as a means to run away from dealing with their trauma from punitive parenting. However, the Early Church banned parent anger directed towards children, and deemed it entitlement, and then deemed it child abuse in the case that the child was offended or damaged by your anger.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Benign" deprivation: Why telling "no" to children "frequent and often" can be seen as child abuse

Many parents buy into the parenting doctrine of "benign" deprivation. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Ultimately, this parenting doctrine amounts to "frequent and often" use of the word "no". However, the fact of the matter is that frequent use of the word "no" alone can been seen as child abuse.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Part of avoiding offense in children is to only use the word "no" as a parent when absolutely necessary, meaning almost never. The idea is to find every reason to say "yes" to a child, as opposed to finding every reason to tell a child "no". However, sometimes you need to tell a child "no". In the case that the word "no" is necessary, and a child cannot accept the declination of requests, you need to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings, lest it officially be an offense. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half-apology, in the case of a child not being able to accept the word "no" when not given out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including when saying "no", you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan parenting customs, which were punitive in nature. Paul, contrary to popular writings, opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Most "benign" deprivation is motivated by parent anger directed towards children. However, parent anger towards children in the Bible was a banned emotion in parenting. Any time a parent got angry with their child, it was seen by Christian culture then as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey - maybe the child got a warning, but not by much. Parents then largely did not get angry with a child, and if they did, they stuck out like a weed. The word "no" should only be used in the case of worry or concern in parents, meaning never anger.

Telling children "no" all of the time can be seen as child abuse as perceived by the child. It is okay to say "no" to children rarely, when necessary. However, saying "no" all of the time can lead to child abuse in terms of offenses. Parents then found ways to say "no" nicer with alternative phrases to the word "no", such as "that can't happen", "that won't work", or "that isn't possible". 

A common place of contention between parents is in the store. Most parents say "no" to everything their child gets off the shelf. However, you as a parent should give them that candy bar. You most certainly can afford it, so what is the big deal? In proper parenting, children should see their parents as the bringer of good things, not a menace to be feared. In the Early Church, parents let their children pick licorice off the shelf whenever they so pleased, and allowing for those things helped gel a secure bond with children. If you truly cannot afford it, you put it back if they won't. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!