Redefining child abuse: Why the Bible calls for stronger laws against child abuse

Many parents think that the Bible has no concept of child abuse apart from obeying the law of the land. Most American parents support the present-day definitions of child abuse under state and federal law. However, God's Law is above the law of the land. The Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse. 

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent that is sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserved. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents then was perceived by the child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to child abuse, as defined then. Child abuse was understood then as any entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children here consists of hurt feelings in children that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto the parents - meaning not the child - for the parents being too harsh on their children. An atheist then was seen as an abused child, not a "lost soul" to be "won over". 

The ancients in the Bible even had their own understanding of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers to anything considered sexually amoral, as understood then. This Christian commandment prohibits any sexual relations outside of the context of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, with this marriage having to be equal in terms of chronological age. A groom was only allowed a bride his age or up to 4 years older. Intergenerational marriages or sexual relationships were banned in the Early Church. as was any sexual advances towards a child. Even pornography was banned then, including when it depicted children, and was seen as contraband in the Early Church. Most child sexual abuse then came in the form of father-child incest, with daughters being the usual victims. Fathers then masturbated to thoughts of his child, meaning usually his daughter. Men in particular in the biblical context were open about their fantasies of children. Child sexual abuse was rare then, meaning it almost never happened. When children were being sexually abused then, they knew what was happening to them, and then self-reported their own abuse.

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into Rome. Instead, the Early Christians lived in urban enclaves in major Greco-Roman cities, shunning the outside Greco-Roman world, and the world at large. The Early Christians even had their own court system, binding under Roman law into the end of the 1st Century.

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. In most cases, the investigation started with a child confiding into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were summoned to appear before a council of 3 elders who would preside over the investigation. If the parents were at all defensive before the court, as opposed to answering to the oourt directly, they were swiftly excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God, alongside any witnesses that testified on the parents' behalf. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible were written by anti-spanking Jews, with Jewish law then and now prohibiting spanking a child. All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals that advocated attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote an attachment parenting manual, with the rod in Proverbs referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes, as a sentence for a crime. It just so happens that these attachment parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. Before then, this level of parenting knowledge was known only to the Jewish world.

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. Much of our mannerisms as a society come from the Bible and its context. Even our legal codes, under the English common law, come from a basic understanding of the Bible. However, the criminal defense of "reasonable chastisement" is based off of dated biblical teaching. It is about time that we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense in all 50 states, and redefine child abuse under the secular law as anything that the child victim perceives as abuse.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have values. This is a common goal amongst American parents. Most American parents want their children to have religion. However, many American parents seek to beat religion into a child. However, children have a base human need for religion. They don't need religion beaten into them.

God's Law on child discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that religious instruction should not be punitive in nature. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here not simply to spanking a child for things such as refusing to pray or not assuming perfect postures, or else punishing a child altogether for that reason. This stanza of this commandment prohibits all entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of a parent who refuses to apologize for hurting their child's feelings, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitve sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Religion is a base human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul here was discussing religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore, with the Bible open to a reassuring passage (such as the Beatitudes). Children taught themselves how to read then using the Bible. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep on studying the Bible. Fathers then interjected something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer. Children were curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. 

Most parents think that a religion needs to be beaten into a child in order for the child to grow up to have values. However, children instead find religion on their own, through their own curiosity. The idea is to cultivate your child's natural curiosity for religion and praise them for their religious study. A child does not need punishment or shaming in order to "break their will". Children will come to have values of their own once they grow up, without any need for punishment.

Most Christian parents rush the religious development of their children. One way that this happens is children being forced to assume perfect postures at all times. Non-entitled postures are simply a sign of proper religious development. I myself tie my hands behind my back, and nobody made me as a child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Positive reinforcement: How to discipline your child without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common goal amongst American parents. However, most American parents equate discipline with punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, these parents need an attitude adjustment. There are better ways to discipline a child than through punitive parenting. 

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment states that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parogizo) and refers here to entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of parents refusing to apologize for hurting their child's feelings, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of  patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

This second stanza of this commandment refers to what sort of discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching type. Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in their children, such as self-discipline and self-control. Children were left to form their own discipline, and when this discipline showed, children were given lavish praise and encouragement for more good behavior of the same. Christian parents imparted a good example for children to emulate, with this example being backed up by praise and encouragement, not punishment or shaming. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible, with the Apostle Pauk here referring to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, Christian fathers left out a copy of the Bible for children to discover and explore, with the Bible being left open to a reassuring passage (such as the Beatitudes). Children then taught themselves to read on a Bible. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep on studying the Bible. Fathers then interjected something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer format. Children were curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This second stanza of this commandment refers to the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement, wit this form of positive reinforcement being a Hebraic tradition dating thousands of years before the coming of Christ.

Most children form their own discipline around the age of 8. There is no need to beat discipline into a child. Children develop self-discipline and self-control all on their own. When children form their own discipline, they should be praised and encouraged for more good behavior of the same.

Many times, children get into mischief. Christian parents in the Early Church laughed with their children when they made messes or got into mischief. If a child draws on the wall, laugh about it  and clean it up later. The only time they need to hear the word "no" is when they are getting into something dangerous, such as a hot stove or a busy street. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Temper tantrums: Why not to use punitive measures on a tantrumming child

Most parents have been there. A child kicking and screaming on the ground, in the throes of a temper tantrum. Most American parents punish their children for temper tantrums, or else use punitive measures on them. However, there are better ways to deal with a tantrumming child than using punitive measures on them. 

God's Law on dealing with temper tantrums is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here not simply to spanking a tantrumming child, or else to punishing a child altogether for that reason. The Bible here prohibits any entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children involves hurt feelings that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. One thing that hurts a child's feelings is when their cries are not tended to, with this being deemed an offense by omission. However, most parents not only refuse to tend to their tantrumming children, but punish their children for tantrumming, or else lose their cool with a tantrumming child. If you ever lose your cool with their child as a parent, including when your child is throwing a temper tantrum, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children  However, this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Children usually throw temper tantrums for 2 reasons. Either they have vulnerable needs that need being met, or else cannot accept the word "no". Most children under age 8 have limited control over their own emotions, and throw a temper tantrum because of this. Children aren't out to get you. They are doing the best that they can.

Parents in the Early Church gave their child most everything that they wanted, and absolutely everything that that they needed. Benign wants then were seen then as the same as needs. Parents then only said "no" when children behaved unsafely, with children otherwise having free reign.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Honor thy parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents feel entitled to respect and honor from their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents insist on respect and honor from their children. However, this commandment refers to a specific form of honoring parents - caring for them as they age.

The Fifth Commandment is spelled out in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee,

The Hebrew root word translated "honour" is kabad and refers here to being a caregiver to someone else, namely an aging parent. The idea is to give your aging parents the same loving way that they took care of you. However, this only works if you had good parents that took care of you. If your parents were at all abusive or entitled towards you, you owe nothing to those entitled parents. The main reason for this commandment was that there was an epidemic of elder abuse and neglect in the Old Testament context. 

Most parents insist on some level of respect. Most parents want to be honored by their children, to the point of punishing their children when they feel "disrespected" or "dishonored". In some homes, punishment only comes when children clearly "dishonor" parents. However, the Bible clearly prohibits the use of any punitive measures in parenting. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and here refers not simply to spanking a child, including for "dishonoring parents" or else simply punishing a child altogether for that reason. This commandment prohibits any entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of parents who refuse to apologize to their children for hurting their feelings, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Most parents insist on respect coming from children. Most parents feel deserving of respect from their children. However, in parenting, respect isn't given. It is earned. Parents are entitled to absolutely nothing just for being parents. Nothing, Nada. Zilch  All respect for parents is earned, not bestowed on a silver platter coming from children.

Any parent anger directed towards children was seen in the Early Church as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey. Maybe the child was given some warning, but that was about it. Most Christian parents in the Early Church were motivated by worry, not anger. Parents who were instead motivated by anger were seen as church infiltrators, and were swiftly excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. The only anger allowed in parenting then was protective anger, with this anger coming with gritted teeth towards the interloper.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Expanding child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for tougher laws on the books protecting children from abuse

Many parents think that the Bible has no understanding of child abuse apart from obeying the law of the land. Most American parents support the present-day child abuse definitions under state and federal law. However, God's Law is above the law of the land. The Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse. 

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement in the Bible is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent being sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. Even any parent anger directed towards children is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents then was perceived by the child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translating "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to child abuse, as defined then. Child abuse is to be understood in this passage as any entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children involves parents refusing to apologize for hurting their child's feelings, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. If a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell on the parents - meaning not the child - for the parents apparently being too harsh on children. An atheist was seen then as an abused child, not a "lost soul" to be "won over". 

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word in the New Testament translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to anything outside of the Christian norm on sexuality, as understood then. This ultimately can be summed up further as prohibiting any sexual relations outside of the context of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, with this marriage having to be equal in terms of chronological age. A groom was only allowed a bride his age or up to 4 years older than him. Intergenerational marriages or sexual relationships were prohibited in the Early Church. Most child sexual abuse then came in the form of father-child incest, with daughters being the usual victims. Most fathers masturbated to sexual fantasies of his daughter. Child sexual abuse was rare in the Early Church, meaning it almost never happened. Sexual attraction to children existed on the surface level, with men openly admitting to sexual fantasies of children, albeit as a man of few words.  Whenever a child was sexually abused, they knew what was happening to them, and then they self-reported their own abuse. Whenever children were sexually abused then, it was seen as a huge moral outrage. 

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into Rome. Instead, the Early Christians lived in urban enclaves in major Greco-Roman cities, shunning the broader Greco-Roman world, and also the outside world at large. The Early Christians even had their own court system, with these courts being binding into the end of the 1st Century. 

Child abuse was investigated in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. In most cases, this started with a child confiding into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were summoned to appear before a council of 3 church elders who would preside over the investigation. If the parents defended themselves in court, as opposed to answering directly to the court, they were swiftly excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God, alongside all of the witnesses that testified on behalf of the parents.

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by anti-spanking Jews, with spanking a child being unlawful under Jewish law then and now. All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals advocating attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote an attachment parenting manual, with the rod of correction referring instead to the 40 minus 1 lashes. It just so happens that these attachment parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. Before then, this level of parenting knowledge was only known to the Jewish world.

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. Many of our mannerisms come from the Bible. Even our legal codes, under the English common law, come from a basic understanding of the Bible, namely the Ten Commandments. However, the criminal defense of "reasonable chastisement" is based off of dated biblical understanding. It is about time that we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense in all 50 states, and expand the child abuse definitions under state and federal law to include anything that the child victim perceives as abuse. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Defiance: Why never to use punitive measures for defiance in children

Most parents have been there. A child being defiant to the limits of parents. Most American parents support the punishment of children when children are defiant of the limits of parents. Most American parents think their children out to "undermine" them. However, children never are out to get you - they simply cannot accept a set limit.

God's Law on dealing with defiance in children is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here not simply to spanking a child for defiance, or else simply punishing children altogether for that reason. This commandment prohibits entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of a parent refusing to apologize to their child for hurting their feelings. One thing that hurts children's feelings more than anything is not being able to accept set limits. Many times, children show their displeasure for set limits by way of defiance. This defiance usually involves forceful tears and/or back talk whenever a child cannot accept a set limit. Your child is not out to get you. Your child simply cannot accept a set limit, with this being that the child lacks emotional self-control, with this lack of self-control lasting until age 8. Whatever is simply disappointing to adults is earth-shattering to young children. The idea here is to apologize whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your limits, ideally in the face of their defiance. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law. but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Defiance is a normal and natural reaction in children to limits when they cannot accept a set limit. Children under age 8 lack emotional self-control. What is simply disappointing to adults is earth-shattering to young children. The idea is to apologize to your child whenever they are defiant towards set limits. 

Children never are defiant in order to "undermine" you as a parent. They are not out to get you. They simply cannot accept a set limit. This defiance is a normal and natural stage in childhood behavior, lasting until age 8. Until then, children need you to apologize to them for hurting their feelings with your limits/

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices. Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!