Expanding child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for expanding child abuse definitions

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. Most American parents support the present-day child abuse definitions. However, the Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent who is sorely disappointed when they don't get what they feel that they deserve from children. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by the child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when bringing them up. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you should be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent when parents set a limit that children cannot accept not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to never losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which roughly translates to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely trauma. The ancients had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto the parents of the child for them being too strict with their child. An atheist was seen as a victim of child abuse then, meaning not a "lost soul" to "win over".

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers to, in context, any sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, including any sexual relation with a child coming from an adult. Child sexual abuse was rare then, meaning close to non-existent. But, when it happened, the whole church community turned on the offender, and excommunicated and shunned them. 

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Bible by way of internal church investigation. Usually, this investigation started with a child confiding into a church elder or deacon about their home life. A council of 3 elders then subpoenaed the child's parents to appear before the court. If the parents were at all defensive in their testimony, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Church of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, with no Jew even then worth mentioning ever endorsing punitive parenting of any kind. Each of the biblical writers wrote parenting manuals that recommended attachment parenting. Even King Solomon recommended attachment parenting for minor children in his parenting manual that he wrote, with the rod of correction referring to a sentence for crime, namely the 40 minus 1 lashes.

America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context in order to know how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes are based off of the Bible. It just so happens that the parenting manuals in the biblical context were not translated into English until the 1960s. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

Child discipline: How to discipline your child without punishment or force

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common goal for parents to have for their children. However, most parents equate discipline with punishment. But, the fact of the matter is that the Bible says that discipline should not hurt. 

God's Law on child discipline is stated in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offense or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. It is one thing to stop spanking and punishing your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or punishing your children. You need to avoid offense in your children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with other adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when bringing them up. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you should give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is to be willing to give a meaningful apology for hurting a child's feelings due to limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting a limit, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was considered entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of the commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

This second stanza spells out what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Children growing up in the Early Church were left to form their own discipline. When children showed discipline in their behavior, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for children to follow, but backed it up with praise and encouragement, not punishment or force. Parents then looked for certain preferred behaviors in children, and when children showed those behaviors, they were praised and encouraged to keep up the good behavior. Children need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. Paul here was referring to religious instruction, done a certain way as understood in context. Starting when children turned age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given praise and encouragement to keep on studying the Bible, with fathers then saying "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This stanza of this commandment ultimately refers to the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement, with this Hebraic tradition predating Christ by thousands of years in the Jewish world. Positive reinforcement then involved catching children in the act of being good, and then praising them for their good behavior. Children were never punished for misbehavior in the Bible, and when children did get into mischief, parents usually laughed the whole thing off.

Sometimes, a parent has to set a limit. However, whether children accept that limit is a whole other story. Many times, children cannot accept a limit, which is when a parent should apologize for hurting a child's feelings with a set limit, lest it be officially an offense. Usually, that is all that is necessary to get the child to listen. However, if the child still doesn't listen to set limits, you should do it for them. It can't be that hard to do things for your child. 

Eph. 6:4 is commonly falsely associated with the rod verses in Proverbs. However, King Solomon recommended attachment parenting for minor children, with the rod of correction being a sentence for a crime committed by a young adult. Under Jewish law, it was unlawful to strike a fellow Jew outside of a courtroom setting. The rod of correction ultimately refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes. Nowhere are these punishments mentioned in the New Testament, with Heb. 12:5-6 referring to enduring hardship, with the rod being a metaphor for hardship. Col. 3:21 cross-references the first stanza of Eph. 6:4 clear as a bell, commanding that parents not even offend their child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Abortion: Why abortion is harmful to women (and benefits men)

Many people think that if you are pro-life and a man, you are a misogynist simply for opposing a woman's so-called "right" to choose in the case that they are pregnant in an unplanned way. However, most women do not know what an abortion entails, or else they would not be getting one. 

The Sixth Commandment is stated in Exodus 20:13 KJV:

Thou shalt not kill.

The Greek root word in the New Testament cross-referencing the commandment not to kill is φονος (Latin: phonos) and refers to any death apart from natural death, including murder. The Early Church treated all taking of a human life as murder, including abortion. Abortion was a rare event even in the Early Church, but the Early Christians treated abortion as murder. Whenever an abortion happened, the mother and the father of the unborn child were both excommunicated from the Early Church. Abortion then was seen as a choice that a cold and unloving mother would make. 

Abortion is not what you think it is. Most women have no idea of what an abortion entails, or else they would listen to her mothering instincts and not get an abortion. Abortion, in all cases, involves a medically-induced miscarriage. You take a pill, and then the baby comes out stillborn. Miscarriage is traumatic in all cases for women, and thus women should not be getting an abortion for their own good, as well as the life of the unborn child. 

Men benefit from abortion. In many cases, if not most, a man is pressuring a woman to get an abortion when he doesn't want to take responsibility for a child like a man should. Part of being a man is to take responsibility for his choices, including taking responsibility for his sex drive. A man can just keep it in his pants, and then women wouldn't have to choose. A man can easily just masturbate when he wants sex, and then he can have what he wants with a woman just fine. 

Some people say that pro-life views can be misused. The argument is thar a man can quarter his wife by keeping her pregnant. The problem there is not the unborn child, but the man who keeps her pregnant. Usually, that amounts to a form of rape known as marital rape, which is a form of domestic violence. If the woman had any choice in the matter, she would take birth control, with birth control being lawful even in the biblical tense. In the biblical tense, the morning-after pill is the only birth control that was banned. Birth control usually doesn't end a pregnancy, but instead prevents it from happening. Abortion can be used as a means to cover up for sexual immorality.

The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers in this context to any sexual relations that lead to abortion, including rape and incest. A man should take responsibility for his sexual behavior, and not get women pregnant out of wedlock. If men followed this commandment, and kept it in their pants, abortion would be even less common than it is now. 

Currently, abortion is a rare procedure, usually done to cover up for sexual impropriety. Usually, the mother has no clue that she is being led into a forced miscarriage, all the way until the baby comes out of the womb stillborn. Most women know intuitively not to get an abortion personally, but refuse to judge other women for that "choice". Why not just take it further and judge based on that moral offense.

Being pro-life originated as a feminist stance, with most of the foremothers of the feminist movement being completely pro-life and anti-abortion. The foremothers of the feminist movement warned women of the dangers of abortion. I myself am a man, but try my best to be a feminist. I am looking out for women when they say they want an abortion. Abortion is harmful to women, and thus all those culpable should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. I support the law in Texas, where a doctor performing the procedure is sentenced by the court to 99 years in prison. 

Abortion is murder. However, I am also anti-death penalty in all cases, including in the case of abortion, but also in the case of murder outside of the womb. Only God can take a human life, and otherwise, any killing is murder. I also support paid parental leave for all women for the first 6 years of a child's life, as the mother should be able to stay home and care for her children. Children need their mother for the first 6 years of their childhood, due to constant separation anxiety in children that young. 

I, as a pro-child man, can see the issue of abortion clearly. Men often refuse to take responsibility for children that they have out of wedlock. I as a man am the first to apologize for this form of toxic masculinity. I myself would love the opportunity to nurture and protect a young child. I oppose all abortion, including in the case of life of the mother. That is because most men can nurture, if they really care about the child. Nurturing children is not "women's work". If the mother dies in childbirth, the father should ideally be there for the child. Men who grow close to milk-dependent children can come to a point where they lactate for the child. It can happen in any man if they take lactation cookies. I, as a man who supports children's rights, cannot see any reason why a man can't nurture. What is getting in the way? Male pride and male entitlement. The current order of gender roles is toxic, with men running away from individual responsibility for children that they father. Be a father, and quit your complaining. 

The role of men in the Bible was never to overpower. Instead, men took responsibility in all directions, including for their sex drive, and including for children born from their sex drive. Most men today are pansies for being insecure in the paternal role. A good man saves himself for marriage, and fathers all children that he helped bring into the world. Men in the Early Church sometimes had to father their children all by themselves, in which case they did just fine, even lactating when the mother wasn't around to breastfeed the child. Even the Apostle Paul took in an orphaned child, and had no trouble even lactating for the child. Paul mainly gave parenting advice, and the women swooned after him - lie a peacekeeping chain - and he struggled to ward off the women, as he was a non-contact pedophile who was more occupied with children than women. Saul was the ruthless one, not Paul. Men in the Early Church usually nurtured their children from afar, by encouraging religious learning in their children. But, a man could easily "mother" then if he had no other choice. A man is there to take responsibility in all regards, including taking responsibility for caring for his wife and children. 

The depraved and entitled mothers who murder their children in the womb, and all those who aid and abet, will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into torrents of ever-burning Hell-fire prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent!

Back talk: Why not punish children for talking back

Many parents have been there. A child mouthing off to parents. This is a common and normal way that children act up. Most American parents punish their children for back talk. However, back talk happens when children cannot accept a set limits. In this case, an apology is in order when children talk back in this way. Punishing children for back talk is child abuse.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any offense perceived by a child. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children, with avoiding offense in children being the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with adults, hurt feelings are inevitable when bringing up children. One thing that hurts children's feelings is a limit that the child cannot accept. This hurt feelings in children many times occurs in the form of back talk. Whenever your child talks back, they cannot accept a set limit, in which case parents should be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent for setting a limit not out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including when your child talks back, you definitely need to give a formal apology for losing your cool with your child, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Back talk is a common reason for children to be punished. In some homes, back talk is the sole infraction leading to punishment. In Ancient Greece, children who talked back were given an open-handed spanking to a bare bottom. These Greek parents were seen by the Early Church as infiltrators. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw. 

Anger in parenting alone was seen as a moral crime against children. Most Christian parents in the Early Church were instead motivated by worry or concern. Anger at a child was seen then as akin to a viper lashing out at an unsuspecting child. Maybe there was some warning, but that was it. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descending into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Adult attraction to children: Individual responsibility for adults attracted to children

Many parents and other adults believe in a way of preventing child sexual abuse known as collective responsibility. This means that an adult who is sexually targeting a child be stopped by the collective as a form of "taking out the trash". However, there are better ways of preventing child sexual abuse than stopping a would-be adult. Collective responsibility involves spotting pedophiles, assuming they are the primary cause of child sexual abuse. However, child sexual abuse is usually a crime of opportunity. with any old adult having some risk for sexually abusing a child.

Every single adult is individually responsible for the sexual abuse of children, as any old adult is capable of sexually abusing a child under the right/wrong conditions. Most of the time, adults are secondarily attracted to teenage children, and some adults have a secondary attraction to prepubescent children. Most adults ignore this side of them, but feel compelled by it nonetheless. Sexual offenders of children describe this situation as a "heartache", where they feel sexual lusts to the point of physical pain.

There is only one way out of sexually abusing a child - in, namely through righteous masturbation. Righteous masturbation involves masturbation for health reasons, meaning without pornography. Most child sexual abuse comes from the choice of the offender not to masturbate at all to any fantasy, or else when child fantasies are completely ignored. Most adults at-risk for sexually abusing children are afraid of "encouraging" sexual attraction to children through masturbation. The idea is to face your sexuality head on - and fantasize to the first child that comes to mind.

A pedophile is not an anger packet attached to an adult. A pedophile is a human being with a sexual preference for children under age 14. Most pedophilia is a mental health disorder involving immature autism, meaning arrested psychosexual development usually associated with an autistic specialty in children. Most pedophiles get along with their child attraction figures by way of acting as a defense attorney, meaning defending a child when the child is punished by parents. Most autistic adults do not get along with children, meaning they find children to be "too noisy" or "too chaotic". However, if someone with autism gets along with children, meaning just "gets" children, think pedophile. If a pedophile talks about their latest crush all of the time, think a sex offender of the obvious type.

Most pedophiles who do sexually abuse children commit their crimes for different reasons than most adults who sexually abuse a child. Most abuser pedophiles either have a series of sexual crushes on children like train cars, or else rape a child due to a mental disability. In most all cases, abuser pedophiles simply need to learn boundaries. Most non-pedophilic sex offenders know the boundaries, but don't care. 

I myself have a few offenses under my belt. My main moral crime in relation to children was sexual harassment, usually in the form of street harassment. I am currently being investigated for sexual harassment against a cousin of mine in my grandparents' attic. I have agreed to cooperate with the powers that be. This post is being monitored by the police, and so I feel obligated to be transparent in my dealings with police. The police are putting the finishing touches on the investigation, before shutting down the investigation entirely. I was found not guilty in the police investigation despite having an offense under my belt, because I meant no harm towards my cousin, or any child for that matter. I harbor no anger at any child, and offended out of curiosity for the child form. 

Most child sexual abuse is committed by parents, and many times, the mother is complicit in the abuse. The sexual dynamic in any child's home comes in the form of a criss-cross. Most fathers and daughters have a sexual attraction that is mutually unrequited in its proper application. Sons are attracted to mothers in the form of a dead end in most cases. The idea is to masturbate to thoughts of your daughter, and face that sexual fantasy head on. If this simple advice was taken by parents, most child sexual abuse wouldn't happen. 

Most pedophiles can feel a hysteria that is brewing. Most pedophiles and their allies blame trauma survivors for the admit stigma to pedophilia. However, the hysteria comes from the Roman Catholic Church, with Pope Constantine issuing an ex cathedra decree stating that whenever someone admitted to attraction to children, that they lose all of their friends and family. The actual hatred of pedophiles is not a form of triangulation against children, but instead a mental health stigma against admitting to being a pedophile. Most mental disorders are shameful to admit to, even when the sufferer needs help. A pedophile should have the ability to reach out for help whenever they need it. 

There are two camps of pro-pedophile advocacy - "defend the criminals" or "pedophiles are capable of great things". These days, most trauma survivors lean towards the latter pro-pedophile lobby. Most pedophiles are not criminals in need of legal defense. A pedophile is a victim/abuser, meaning they are usually a tested victim, but are capable of child sexual abuse due to their nature. A pedophile is not an abuser, as much as they replicate an abuser. Thus, blaming all pedophiles for child sexual abuse might lead to lumping a victim in with their abuser. Pedophiles in the Early Church were allowed to give parenting advice as clergymen, and some took in children when nobody else wanted an orphaned child. Most of the time, a woman of the clergy was the one taking in children, but when all else failed, the pedophile took in the child. Pedophiles were never allowed sexual access to children in the Early Church, but even the men of the clergy who took in children lactated when the child was still nursing.

Most adults attracted to children are not pedophiles. Most adults have an attraction to teenagers, and some women especially "swing low" due to feeling unsafe around men their age due to a "man" trauma. Most adults who sexually abuse children choose teenage victims, not prepubescent victims. Usually, with career offenders, they commit a string of rapes before regressing into underage victims. Some pedophiles do offend against children sexually, and mean harm by it. However, such cases are rare. Most pedophiles who sexually abuse a child do so because they don't know the boundaries. 1 in 4 pedophiles have sexually offended against children, and usually, it is not done out of intent to harm unlike most child sexual abuse. If an offense is committed apart from intent to harm, and the offender means well, the police cut you a break. 

The depraved and decadent, defiled adults who rape and sexually abuse children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into torrents which is the lake of fire and burning sulfur prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent!

Honoring parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents feel entitled to respect from their children. Most parents cite the Fifth Commandment as an excuse for punishing children. Many parents punish their children merely for speaking against parents, thus citing the Fifth Commandment. However, the Bible does not prohibit merely speaking against parents. The Bible bans elder neglect.

The Fifth Commandment states in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

The Hebrew word translated "honour" is kabad and refers to a specific way to honor your parents - care for them as they age. The idea is to give them the same tender loving care that you got from them when you were younger. However, if you were abused by your parents as a child, you owe nothing to those parents.

Speaking against parents is commonly mistaken for actual dishonoring of parents, with this perceived "dishonor" from children being a common motive for punishing children. In many homes, speaking against parents alone is a main reason for punishment. However, the Bible prohibits all punitive parenting of children, including when parents feel dishonored. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Punitive measures are not the way to get your child to honor you. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. The idea is not to spank or punish your child for perceived dishonor from children. However, it is not enough to avoid spanking or punishing unruly children. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when bringing them up. Thus, parents should be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever they hurt the feelings of their child, lest it officially be an offense. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent when children cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including when children are "dishonoring" towards you as a parent, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and the commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool as a parent alone is entitlement, and even was seen as entitlement in the Early Church.  The main reason why parents use punitive measures with children is that children "dishonor" parents by "speaking against" parents. In some homes, perceived disrespect from children is the number one reason for punitive measures. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Honoring parents, as a commandment, does not prohibit speaking against parents. Speaking against parents was allowed in the Early Church. What was not allowed, by default, was refusing to care for your aging parents as they age. However, some adult children were abused by their parents, and want nothing to do with them. The bare minimum you have to do to honor your parents today is to find a nursing home for parents. You can speak against them at any time.

I myself am a survivor of law-abiding parents. My parents are apologetic for how they treated me, but I will always remember how they treated me. My parents both punished me with false imprisonment tactics, with my father giving disciplinary spankings done "out of love". The only time that you have to forgive your parents is if they give a meaningful apology for how they treated you. Even then, you can always go back on your forgiveness for your parents if they weren't truly sorry. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for stronger laws against child abuse

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. Most American parents support the current child abuse definitions. However, the Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of parents being sorely disappointed when children don't give them what they feel that they deserve from children. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children, just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards children is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in adults. Just like with relationships between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when bringing them up. Thus, parents should avoid offense in their children by giving them a meaningful apology whenever you hurt their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent when children cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting a limit, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement even in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever children grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto their parents, meaning never onto the atheist child. Atheism was seen then as a sign of childhood trauma, not a "lost soul" to be "won over".

The ancients even had a basic understanding of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to any sexual relations outside of marriage. One form of sexual relations then seen as child sexual abuse was any sexual relations with a child. Even giving children sexual or amorous attention was seen as child sexual abuse then, even if the child liked it. Sexually abusing a child, in the Old Testament, was seen as a capital offense. Child sexual abuse was rare in the biblical context, meaning next to non-existent. Mere pedophilia, meaning sexual preferences for children under age 14, was not banned then, and a pedophile then could ask for help whenever they couldn't go it alone. 

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of church investigation. In most cases, the investigation started with a child confiding with a clergyperson about their home life. Then, the council subpoenaed for the parents to testify in court. If the parents defended themselves at all in court, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever endorsing any punitive parenting of children. Each of the biblical writers wrote a parenting manual that endorsed attachment parenting. Even King Solomon recommended attachment parenting for minor children. The rod of correction in Proverbs refers specifically to the 40 minus 1 lashes, meaning a sentence for a crime, with fathers being deputized by the Sanhedrin to administer the blows.

America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context in order to know how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes are based off of the Bible. However, it just so happened that the parenting manuals written in biblical times were not translated into English until the 1960s. Thus, we were in the dark as a Christian society as to how to deal with children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!