Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents think that the Bible endorses or even commands parents to spank or punish their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents cite a few verses in Proverbs and a passage in Hebrews as their "proof" that spanking is biblical. However, Heb. 12:5-6 does not refer to earthly parents spanking a child, but instead refers to enduring hardship.

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, as is the case here. This form of metaphor is called "rod language". When a Christian then got home from a long day at work, he instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally reach down from the Heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, as only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of the believer. However, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does, in fact, harm them. This passage was intended as comfort for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

The teaching of "biblical spanking" is a man-made teaching. The Bible does not legitimately endorse or command force in parenting, as God does not want earthly parents to use His Parenting methods, lest they get it wrong. However, the Bible does touch on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to simply stop spanking your child, or else stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, when you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions onto children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting all offenses in child as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The staple punishment in the broader Greco-Roman world was spanking a child on the bare bottom with an open hand. However, the Early Christians shunned such parenting as of this world, and saw it as pagan in nature. Pro-spanking parents then were treated as church infiltrators, with this infiltrators even citing Proverbs as their "proof" that spanking was biblical. 

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into Rome. Instead, the Early Christians lived in urban enclaves, shunning the outside world, with the Christians then being policed into ghettos in major Greco-Roman cities. The Early Christians were piss poor, but still managed to please the petitioned wants of their child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Childhood bipolar disorder: How to discipline your bipolar child

Quite a few parents struggle with this. Hearing the news that their child has bipolar disorder. Most such parents watch in horror as their child is completely out of control. This happens often, and parents are told that there is no way to discipline such a child without medication. However, there is a way to discipline your bipolar child before being stabilized, but only without punishment.

God's Law on childhood discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second not to use punitive measures on a bipolar child. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your bipolar child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your bipolar child, or even stop punishing them altogether for that reason. You need to avoid offense in your bipolar child. This offense avoidance is part of the Christian doctrine of righteous parent abuse. Usually, when a parent says "no" to their bipolar child, they fly into a rage attack, beating up their parents in the process. The idea behind avoiding offense in children is to avoid using the word "no"  whenever possible - meaning only for safety's sake - and when you do, be willing to apologize for hurting your bipolar child's feelings with limits that they cannot accept. Whenever children do lash out at you for limits that they cannot accept, the idea is to find tears, and cry when your child strikes out at you, in the midst of your apology to them for hurting their feelings. You may find that they will take pity over your crying and wailing. In the case that you do need to apologize to your child, in most cases, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, when parents hurt their child's feelings with limits not out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your bipolar child as a parent, including when they are acting defiant and disorderly, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment ultimately was received as prohibiting all offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

It is a myth that a child with bipolar disorder cannot be disciplined without medication. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a certain specific form of nurturing children, namely of the teaching sort. Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in children, namely self-discipline and self-control. Whenever these behaviors showed at all, children were lavishly praised and encouraged by parents for more discipline of the same. Usually, a bipolar child has moments of clarity, and even can hold it together in public. Whenever you see moments of clarity in your child, praise them for keeping it together. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated to "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible, with the Apostle Paul here discussing religious instruction. Religious needs are more apparent when a child is stabilized, as medication helps children to let in the Holy Spirit. Before then, children might dabble in a religion, but they won't run with it until they are medicated. Children, in most cases, develop religion on their own, without it being beaten into them.

Childhood bipolar disorder is not who a child is. It is a disease of the human brain. A child with bipolar disorder needs medication in order to function. However, lithium treatment is the gold standard of treating bipolar disorder in children, and lithium treatment cannot be utilized safely until around age 16. Until then, you will need to put up with their highs and lows, while encouraging moments of clarity in a child whenever they come. Childhood bipolar disorder is like a parasite of the brain, with medication being the only option for children with bipolar disorder getting well.

Many parents are hesitant to medicate their child with bipolar disorder. However, your child is not a "bad kid" for struggling with bipolar disorder. They simply are struggling with a physical ailment of the brain. I myself take lithium for bipolar disorder, and took it since I was 16. If I didn't take it then, I might have to deal with maxing out of my lithium dosage later in life. It is no fun being that free with your emotions. You feel out of control, and the only reason I was hesitant to give lithium treatment a try was because no other medications worked, so why would lithium work? I hated feeling out of control as a child. I was exclusively manic as a child, starting when I was very young. I was treated as a "bad kid" as a child. Bipolar disorder should not be shameful to admit in your child, but instead simply serves as an explanation as to your child's labile and unhinged behaviors. 

Bipolar disorder is linked to creative genes. However, those creative genes are more apparent when the individual with bipolar disorder is medicated. Thus, I am very much pro-medication in the context of gentle parenting. It is no different that treating a physical ailment. Mental illness in and of itself is a physical ailment of the human brain. A child can have most any mental health disorder that an adult can have.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Redefining child abuse: Why the Bible calls for expanding child abuse definitions

Many parents believe that the Bible has no concept of child abuse apart from obeying the law of the land. Most American parents support the present-day definitions of child abuse under state and federal law. However, the Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent being sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in the Early Church, amongst parents, was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting offenses as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic concept of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto the parents for being too harsh on their child. An atheist in the Early Church was seen as an abused child, not a "lost soul" to "win over". 

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to any sexual relations outside of the context of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, with this marriage having to be equal in nature. A groom was only allowed a bride his age or up to 4 years older. Intergenerational marriages were prohibited in the Early Church, as was any sexual relations with children. Most child sexual abuse then happened in the form of father-child incest, with daughters being the usual topic. Most men in particular, in the Early Church avoided sexually abusing children by way of masturbating to thoughts of children, with this masturbation being for health reasons, meaning to stay out of trouble with the ladies or the children, and was done without pornography, with pornography being banned from the mere possession of the person. Child sexual abuse was rare in the biblical context, meaning it was next to non-existent. Whenever a child was sexually abused in the biblical context, it was a huge moral outrage that shocked the community. Child sexual abuse was not hidden on the gaslighting level then like it is today, but instead was hidden close enough to the surface that the child knew what was happening, and then self-reported their abuse to the church authorities.

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into Greco-Roman society. The fact of the matter is that Christians in the 1st Century lived in urban enclaves, shunning the outside world, being policed into urban ghettos. The Early Christians even had their own court system that was binding until the turn of the 2nd Century. The Early Christians also had their own culture and customs, separate from Rome.

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. This investigation started when a child confided into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were summoned to testify before a council of 3 elders, with this council here presiding over the investigation in an inquisitorial manner. If the parents defended themselves at all in court, as opposed to answering directly to the court, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God, for their entitlement alone. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by anti-spanking Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever endorsing anything punitive with a child. All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals that advocated attachment parenting. Even King Solomon issued an attachment parenting manual for parents of minor children, with the rod in Proverbs referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes, administered to an adult Jew, as a sentence for a crime. It just so happens that these attachment parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. However, these attachment parenting manuals were known to the Jewish world long before then./

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context as to know how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes, under the English common law, mostly come from the Bible. However, the legal defense of "reasonable chastisement" is based off of a dated understanding of the Bible. It is about time we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense, and expand our child abuse definitions to include anything perceived by a child victim as abuse. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

 

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Original sin: How to talk to your children about the flaws of mankind

Original sin is one of the most misused of all Christian teachings. However, original sin is the backbone of Christianity. Without original sin, Christ would have died in vain. Original sin is not something to accuse a child of. Instead, YOU need to regard yourself as a sinner in order to be saved.

We as human beings are flawed creatures. God hates most all of mankind, as mankind has turned his back on God. God only loves a few human beings who are His elect. All of mankind is deserving of absolutely nothing just for existing. There is nothing good about human nature. I myself am a depraved and decadent sinner deserving of absolutely nothing, and am grateful for everything that I have. Children can also be convicted of the doctrine of original sin, but that should come without sin shaming. 

God's Law on child discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment prohibits sin shaming towards children. The Greek root word translated "provoke....to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key here is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. One thing that hurts a child's feelings is being called a "sinner" in the perjorative tense. Thus in order to avoid offense in a child that is sinning, you need to avoid calling them a sinner, or stop punishing them for their sins entirely for that matter. If you ever lose your cool at all with your child as a parent, including when children sin, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan parenting customs, which were punitive in nature. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Original sin, as a Christian teaching, does not have to be beaten into a child. Instead, all that is necessary is a brief talk about the topic. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul here was discussing religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for the child to discover and explore, with the Bible left open to a reassuring passage, such as the
Parable of the Sheep and the Goats. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep on studying the Bible. Fathers then interjected something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers quick to give pointers on the context. At some point, somewhere in the beginning of a child's religious development, children are bound to ask "Why did Jesus have to die?", in which case you should respond "We as human beings are sinners, and thus we needed a Savior so that God can forgive our sins". 

Children were not seen as "sinful swats" in the Early Church. Children were instead seen as next to God, with God Almighty identifying with the vulnerability of children. The Early Christians did not practice child worship proper, but pretty close to it. See Matt. 25:31-46. 

It is easy to call out your child on their sins. But, it is a whole other thing to convict yourself of your sins. ALL of mankind has a fallen nature, as ALL human beings are sinners deserving of absolutely nothing. Not just children. ALL of us as human beings have fallen from grace. God rescued us from a peacekeeping past, and our human genome is flawed due to our peacekeeping nature as human beings. The idea is to focus on your own sins, and not your child's sins. They will learn how to avoid sin and entitlement just by watching you and copying your example.

The teaching of original sin is something that children do need to know if they want to be good Christians. Most children are spiritually curious as children. Thus, they might just learn about their sinful nature on their own. If they can call themselves sinners at all, they are on the right path. If they as you questions about mankind being sinful, inform them in a way that is gentle and sensitive. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punishment or shaming

Many parents want their children to have values. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents want their children to have religion. However, most Christian parents in this country in particular, feel the need to beat a religion into a child. But, the fact of the matter is that children don't need a religion beaten into them. Religion is a base human need for children and adults alike.

God's Law on child discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that religious instruction should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement  It is one thing to stop spanking your child, including in order to "break their will". However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child when they don't obey religious orders, or even stop punishing children altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed toward children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting offending children in any way, as is perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

There is no need to beat a religion into a child. Children go through their own religious development, with religion being a base need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul here was discussing religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore, with this Bible left open to a reasssuring passage, such as the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep studying the Bible. Fathers then interjected something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. 

A common way for Christian parents to impose their religious beliefs onto their child is through "breaking their will". The idea is that as soon as a child becomes mobile, that they need a will to be "made God's Will". However, a child does not have any will to be broken. A child instead simply wants things  even if they cannot have them. A child should get most of what they want, and everything that they need. 

Most religious child abuse happens when parents rush their child's natural religious development. One  example is with grateful postures, which many Christian parents forcing their children to assume grateful postures. However, I myself tie my hands behind my back, and nobody made me assume that position. Grateful postures are simply something to look for in children to know that they are in the right religious place.

Most Christian parents these days do not insists on children keeping all of their teachings. Most Christian parents these days want their children to pick a set of values and run with it. It may not be your values, but at least that they have values. Most children develop a religion naturally, without any input from parents..

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

Defiance: Why not to punish your defiant child

Many parents have been there. A child defying the limits of parents. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish their children for defying them. However, your child is not out to get you. Your child simply cannot accept a set limit.

God's Law on dealing with defiance in children is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your defiant child. However, it not enough to stop spanking your defiant child, or even stop punishing them altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. One way to avoid offense in children is to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your limits. One way that children voice displeasure for set limits is by being defiant. Whenever your child defies your limits, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology for hurting their feelings with your limits, lest it officially be an offense. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger. such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting offending children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings, Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Defiance is a normal behavior in children of all age groups. At some point, your child is going to defy your limits. The idea is to apologize to your child whenever you hurt their feelings with their limits. Usually, children will understand, and forgive your apology. If they don't forgive you. you traumatized them. 

Anger is not a valid motivation to be a parent. Most parents in the United States are motivated to be parents by an entitled backbone. However, most parenting in the Early Church was motivated by worry, not anger. Anger at a child alone was seen as entitlement in the Early Church, with parent anger at children being likeend then to a viper lashing out at a child - maybe the child was given some warning, but that was about it. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the eecond death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into ths abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!