Redefining child abuse: Why the Bible calls for expanding child abuse definitions

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of child abuse. Most American parents support the present-day definitions of child abuse under state and federal law. However, God's Law is above the law of the land. The Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defines as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent that is sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. When this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting all offenses as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, it was seen as a shame on the parents, with the parents being seen as being too harsh on the child. An atheist was seen in the Early Church as an abused child,  not a "lost soul" to be "won over"

The ancients even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to any sexual relations outside of the context of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, with the marriage being equal in terms of age. Intergenerational marriage was unlawful in the Early Church. A groom was only allowed a bride his age, or up to 4 years older. Most child sexual abuse then came in the form of father-child incest, with daughters being the usual victims. Any sexual relations between an adult and a child was prohibited then, with the adult always being the one who was blamed. Most men had a masturbation policy that allowed for them to masturbate to sexual thoughts of their child, including their daughters. Child sexual abuse was rare in the biblical context, meaning it was almost non-existent. When it was discovered, it caused a huge moral outrage in the community. What was also banned was pornography in the possession of a person, including that which depicted children. 

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. This investigation usually started with a child confiding to a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents of the child were summoned to appear before a council of 3 elders who would decide the fate of the parents. If the parents at all were defensive about their parenting, they were swiftly excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by anti-spanking Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever endorsing punitive measures in parenting. Each of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals that advocated attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote an attachment parenting manual, with the rod of correction referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. It just so happened that these parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s.

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context as to how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes under the English common law are based largely off of biblical teaching. However, the "reasonable chastisement" defense is based off of dated biblical teaching. It is about time we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense, and expand upon the definition of child abuse to include any abuse as perceived by a child victim. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Temper tantrums: Why temper tantrums are not bad behavior in children

Many parents think that when their child is throwing a temper tantrum, that their child is "bad" or "naughty". This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish children for temper tantrums. However, a child is not deserving of punishment just for throwing a temper tantrum. 

Children cry for two reasons - they need something, or they cannot accept a limit set by parents. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key here to dealing with temper tantrums is to avoid offense in children. One form of avoiding offense in children is responding to their every cry. Children younger than age 6 cry oftentimes due to having a vulnerable need that needs met. Many times, they have separation anxiety that needs reassured. Maybe they are hungry or thirsty as well. Every time you dismiss the cries of a child, you offend them, and they have the right to be offended by your negligence. The idea is instead to diagnose the needs of a tantrumming child, and then meet those needs. If you dismiss a cry of a child, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology to your child, especially when you are angry when you dismiss the cries of a child. If you at all angry when you dismiss the cries of your child, you need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger. Another way to avoid offense in children is to give a meaningful apology for hurting your child's feelings with limits that the child cannot accept, as such hurt feelings often come in the form of a temper tantrum when a child cannot accept a set limit. When children cannot accept a set limit, children need reassurance of good intent coming from parents, either in the form of an informal apology, or else a formal apology if you were at all angry with your child when they cried. Whenever a child's feelings are hurt by your anger, you need to give a formal apology along the lines of "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as any offenses as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than parents today that children who throw temper tantrums usually do so due to a vulnerable need that needs being met. Customary law in the Early Church understood children as having five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and/or attachment - with the greatest of these needs being attachment! Whenever a child cried out of nowhere, mothers cooed before she diagnosed the need, and then met it. A common need for children under age 6 was separation anxiety.

Sometimes, a child cannot accept a set limit. In this case, a parent should be willing to apologize to their child, and mean it. Your children will forgive you for limits that they cannot accept, as children only resent their children for big things, not little things such as a limit that they don't like. If your child does not forgive you, you have traumatized them with your actions.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke not your child to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and burning sulfur, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Benign" deprivation: Why saying "no" to children "frequent and often" can be child abuse

Many parents think that children need to hear the word "no" frequent and often. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, these American parents need an attitude adjustment. The reason for this attitude adjustment is that when you tell your child "no" all of the time, it can be seen as child abuse if it upsets the child.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key here to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. One thing that hurts the feelings of children is saying "no" to your child "frequent and often". The key to avoiding offense in this context is to only tell a child "no" when absolutely necessary, meaning rarely. When a child cannot accept the word "no", you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan customs of parenting, which were punitive in nature. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the Early Christians as any offenses as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Most parents know when the word "no" is necessary, but somehow think that children are going to ask for "more, and then some". Children usually ask for things because they know who brings good things to them. They aren't out to manipulate you. Just say "yes" and get it over with. The child simply wants YOU to bring them good things, to know that you love them. 

One common place of contention in parenting is the store. Most children want that candy bar off of the shelf, and the parents say "put that back", and the child doesn't want to. You can surely afford a candy bar. A child isn't going to ask for much more, if they do, in fact, ask for more. If you truly cannot afford what they want, then perhaps you should save up money on their behalf, or else tell them "no" and apologize for the word "no". In the Early Church, a popular candy was licorice, and children always wanted it. Parents simply asked for the licorice to be handed to them, and then they paid for it alongside the other items. If the child wanted to open the package in the middle of the market, the parent simply asked for the item ahead of time, and said something along the lines of "you can have this back once I pay for it". 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Religious instruction: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have values. This is a common goal for parents to have. However, most Christian parents in particular think that they have to beat a good set of values into children. The fact of the matter is that there are better ways to instruct your child in the Lord than using punitive measures on them.

God's Law on child discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment states that religious instruction should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child, including to stop "beating the devil out of them". However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing them altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus for bringing into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment was received as a ban on all offenses as perceived by the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

There is no reason to "beat the devil out of them" in Christian parenting. Religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. Paul here was referring to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged for more of the same. Fathers then said to children, "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. 

Religion is a human need for both adults and children alike. Children may be born atheist, but they usually find religion at some point, in most case around age 6. Children may not find the same values that you do in the Bible, but it is good for children to have a set of values to live by. 

Many Christian parents rush their child's religious development, fearing that their child will grow up to not have values. One example of this is forcing grateful postures onto children. Grateful postures are simply a sign of good religious development. I tie my hands behind my back whenever I am out and about in public, and no parent ever made me. My parents only wished that I believed in something, and did not raise me in a religion. I was instead abused by the parent lobby ideology. 

Religious child abuse consists of imposing your Christian values onto children, with the child then perceiving offense from such religious entitlement. Religious entitlement is denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to a specific form of parental entitlement involving, officially speaking, wanting children to have the same religious beliefs as you, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, any time you force your religious beliefs onto your child, you are a religious abuser of children. Most of us at Christian conservatives simply want children to choose a set of values and live by them. If a conservative parent is pushy about religion, they are abusers just for forcing religion onto their children.

For the first 6 years of childhood, the child should stay at home with mothers, while the man of the house prays for his family under church steeple. Children are bound to want to try out a church on their own at some point, after finding God with a Bible left out in the house. Children should not be forced to attend church with their parents. Instead, they should be allowed to attend their own church when they get older. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke your children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Expanding child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for stronger laws against child abuse

Most parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of child abuse. This is a common belief amongst American parents. Most American parents support the present-day child abuse definitions under state and federal law. However, God's Law is above the law of the land. The Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement in the Bible is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent who is sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. A parent is deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. When this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive measures on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting any offenses as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. If a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell on the parents of the atheist child, for the parents of the atheist child presumably being too hard on their child. An atheist, in the Early Church, was seen as an abused child, not a "lost soul" who needs to be "won over". 

The ancients in the Bible also had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" in the New Testament is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to any sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, with this marriage being equal in nature. In order for the marriage to be equal, the bride had to be the same age as the groom, or else up to 4 years older than the groom. All intergenerational marriages were banned in the Early Church, as was any sexual relations with a child. Most child sexual abuse then came in the form of father-child incest, with daughters being the target. Most fathers then masturbated righteously to thoughts of their daughters, in a manner that purged the unrequited desires. Child sexual abuse was rare in the biblical context, meaning it almost never happened. When it did happen, it was a huge moral outrage, with child sexual abuse being a capital offense in the Old Testament.

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. Usually, this investigation started with a child confiding into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were subpoenaed to appear before a council of 3 church elders for a trial. If the parents got defensive about their parenting choices, as opposed to answering to the court directly, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. The Bible was written by anti-spanking Jews, with Jewish law prohibiting anything punitive with a child, then and now. All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals, with all of these parenting manuals advocating attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote an attachment parenting manual, with the rod of correction in Proverbs referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for crime. It just so happens that these parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. 

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian family values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context as to how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes are largely based off of biblical teaching. However, the "reasonable chastisement" defense for punishing children is based off of dated Christian teaching. We now know the Truth about spanking and other forms of punishment of children - it is prohibited in the Bible. It is about time that all legal defenses for punitive parenting be repealed, and the child abuse definitions - under both state and federal law - be expanded to include any abuse as perceived by the child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss, which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Child discipline: How to discipline your child without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common goal amongst American parents. Most American parents discipline their children. However, most parents equate discipline with punishment. However, there are better ways to discipline your child than by punishing them.

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in your child. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul in this first stanza was convicting a few Greek Christian parents in the parish who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions onto children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting all offenses as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The second stanza of this commandment spells out what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific type of nurturing, namely of the teaching type. Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in children, including any discipline or self-control in children. When children showed these behaviors, they were lavishly praised and encouraged for more of the same. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for children to follow, but with this example being backed up by praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul here was discussing religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep up the good work, with fathers then saying to children "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. This commandment refers here to the Hebraic tradition of positive reinforcement, meaning catching children being good and praising them. This tradition of positive reinforcement predates Christ by thousands of years.

Sometimes, you need to set a limit with your child. However, children accepting set limits is a whole other story. Whenever a child cannot accept a set limit, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology for hurting their feelings with your limit. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, namely in the form of an informal apology. However, if you set a limit out of anger or haste, you should give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger.

Parent anger at children in the Early Church was not acceptable as motivation for parenting. Instead, parents then were motivated by worry or concern. Anger at a child was seen then as akin to a viper striking out at its prey - maybe the child was given a warning, but that's about it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let then be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Defiance: Why not to punish your defiant child

Many parents have been there. A child is acting defiant, oftentimes at the most inopportune of times. This is a common and normal situation that most parents find themselves in. Most American parents punish their children for defiance. However, defiance is not intended as anything personal coming from a child. They just cannot accept a set limit. 

God's Law on punishing children for defiance is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your defiant child, or even stop punishing your defiant child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. One reason why children's feelings are hurt is when they cannot accept a set limit coming from a parent. This form of hurt feelings in children often comes in the form of defiance. Defiance, in most cases, comes in the form of forceful tears. This defiance in children comes from a child not being able to accept a set limit. Thus, when children are defiant towards you, you need to avoid offense in children by being willing to meaningfully apologize for hurting their feelings with limits that they cannot accept. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of an informal apology, for hurting your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting all offenses in children, as perceived by the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Punishing your child was not received well by your average 1st Century Christian. Anything punitive ytowards a child was seen then as pagan in origin, and was shunned by Christians as such. The Early Christians were not, in fact, well integrated into Rome. The Early Christians lived in impoverished ghettos, and shunned the outside Greco-Roman world, winning over new believers by way of invitation only. 

Any parent anger directed towards a child was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Most Christian parents in the Early Church were not motivated by anger, but instead were motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent even lost their cool on church grounds with their children, the whole church turned on them, and they were swiftly excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. Parent anger at children was seen as a viper lashing out at its prey - maybe the child got a warning, but that was about it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!