"Biblical spanking": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents spank or punish their children. This is a common behavior in parents. Most parents, at some level, use the Bible as an excuse to punish their children. Parents these days need an attitude adjustment in that regard. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document. 

There is no such phrase in the Bible stating clearly "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the book of Proverbs contains 6 verses mentioning the rod of correction. The most well-known of these verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, which was a switch applied to the bare back of a criminal offender, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was considered unlawful then. Striking a minor child for any reason, in any context, was prohibited under Jewish law. The father then was deputized to administer the blows. The reason for these rod verses is that otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son when the Law required it. Ultimately, what is being referred to here is the 40 minus 1 lashes, not a domestic spanking of a child. 

Christ died and Rose on the Third Day in order to repeal the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. Christ was whipped unjustly by the Romans before being put on the cross, and thus the Early Church shunned all corporal punishment, including which was perpetrated by the Romans. Christ instead opened up Heaven and Hell for sinners and saints respectively. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any sort of "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or even punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable when dealing with children. Thus, if you hurt your child's feelings, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals. This included King Solomon himself. King Solomon was anti-spanking as a whole. Maybe he wrote about the 40 minus 1 lashes, but he didn't ever intend for minor children to be whipped. For minor children, he recommended attachment parenting to Jewish parents. 

Christian parenting in the Early Church was not based off of anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child in the Early Church, the parent was disciplined by the council, and was excommunicated if they defended their parent anger in any way. Parent anger directed towards children then was likened to a viper lashing out at an unsuspecting child. Maybe the parent gave warning, but not much of one.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

 Many parents spank or punish their children. This is a common behavior in parents. Most parents, at some level, use the Bible as an excuse to punish their children. Parents these days need an attitude adjustment in that regard. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document. 

There is no such phrase in the Bible stating clearly "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the book of Proverbs contains 6 verses mentioning the rod of correction. The most well-known of these verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, which was a switch applied to the bare back of a criminal offender, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was considered unlawful then. Striking a minor child for any reason, in any context, was prohibited under Jewish law. The father then was deputized to administer the blows. The reason for these rod verses is that otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son when the Law required it. Ultimately, what is being referred to here is the 40 minus 1 lashes, not a domestic spanking of a child. 

Christ died and Rose on the Third Day in order to repeal the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. Christ was whipped unjustly by the Romans, and thus the Early Church shunned all corporal punishment, including which was perpetrated by the Romans. Christ instead opened up Heaven and Hell for sinners and saints respectively. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any sort of "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or even punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable when dealing with children. Thus, if you hurt your child's feelings, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals. This included King Solomon himself. King Solomon was anti-spanking as a whole. Maybe he wrote about the 40 minus 1 lashes, but he didn't ever intend for minor children to be whipped. For minor children, he recommended attachment parenting to Jewish parents. 

Christian parenting in the Early Church was not based off of anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child in the Early Church, the parent was disciplined by the council, and was excommunicated if they defended their parent anger in any way.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents spank or punish their children. This is a common behavior in parents. Most parents, at some level, use the Bible as an excuse to punish their children. Parents these days need an attitude adjustment in that regard. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document. 

There is no such phrase in the Bible stating clearly "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the book of Proverbs contains 6 verses mentioning the rod of correction. The most well-known of these verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, which was a switch applied to the bare back of a criminal offender, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was considered unlawful then. Striking a minor child for any reason, in any context, was prohibited under Jewish law. The father then was deputized to administer the blows. The reason for these rod verses is that otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son when the Law required it. Ultimately, what is being referred to here is the 40 minus 1 lashes, not a domestic spanking of a child. 

Christ died and Rose on the Third Day in order to repeal the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. Christ was whipped unjustly by the Romans, and thus the Early Church shunned all corporal punishment, including which was perpetrated by the Romans. Christ instead opened up Heaven and Hell for sinners and saints respectively. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any sort of "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or even punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable when dealing with children. Thus, if you hurt your child's feelings, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals. This included King Solomon himself. King Solomon was anti-spanking as a whole. Maybe he wrote about the 40 minus 1 lashes, but he didn't ever intend for minor children to be whipped. For minor children, he recommended attachment parenting to Jewish parents. 

Christian parenting in the Early Church was not based off of anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child in the Early Church, the parent was disciplined by the council, and was excommunicated if they defended their parent anger in any way.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents support the use of corporal punishment in parenting, and cite the Bible as their source of pro-spanking "wisdom". Most American parents cite a few verses in Proverbs, and one passage in Hebrews, as their "proof" that spanking is commanded by God. However, the core of their pro-spanking argument is Heb. 12:5-6, and is on shaky theological ground at best. This verse in Hebrews refers to trials and tribulations, not any punishment from any earthly parenting. 

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it. Whenever a Christian then had a long day at work, they instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally whip His children. However, God does punish His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations to the people whom He loves the most. But, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them. Whereas, earthly parents only punish their children when it does harm them. The Apostle Paul here was comforting the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

Hebrews 12:5-6 does not refer to earthly parenting, and definitely does not refer to any "biblical spanking". God does not intend for His Parenting measures to be used in earthly parenting. However, God does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to avoid spanking or punishing children. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in the case of limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The staple punishment in Ancient Greece was spanking to the bare bottom with an open hand. In most European pagan cultures, corporal punishment was a common way that parents dealt with their children. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw. Paul convicted the parent abusers of children with his inspired pen. 

Parent anger directed towards children was not normal in the Early Church. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child out of anger, it was seen as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey, and giving their prey only moment's notice. Most parenting in the Early Church happened out of worry or concern, with the only displeasure being allowed in parenting then being disappointment. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

 

Crying: Why crying in children is not bad behavior

Many parents have been there. A child crying seemingly for no reason. Most American parents punish children for crying "out of nowhere". However, children always cry for a reason. A child cries out of nowhere because they have vulnerable needs that need met.

God's Law mandates a secure bond between parent and child. See Colossians 3:20 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to a specific form of surrender - surrender to the loving arms of parents, namely the loving arms of mothers. Ultimately, this word refers to a secure bond between parent and child in the family home. The context, when used as a guidepost, tells us how to form a secure bond with children.

For the first 6 years of childhood in the Early Church, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning wherever the mother went, so did her child. Whenever children cried, mothers cooed before picking up her child, and from there, she diagnosed the need before meeting it. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period.

The one main reason for crying in children is separation anxiety. Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than parents today that children cry out of nowhere, many times, because they fear that mom will "go away and never come back". Whenever mothers left the room in a house, perhaps to answer the door, children cried, and kept crying, until they were attended to. It is recommended today that mothers stay home and care for her child during the first 6 years of childhood, so not to realize a child's worst fear of mom disappearing. 

Children, under customary law in the Early Church, were understood as having five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment. Whenever a child was tired, it was counted as an attachment need, as mothers co-slept next to their child, or else co-snuggled with children when they needed a nap in the middle of the day.

The depraved and entitled parents who punish their children for crying will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into the abyss which the ever-burning Hell designed for Satan and his accomplices! Repent!

Child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for expanding child abuse definitions

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. Most American parents support the present-day child abuse definitions. However, the Bible calls for changing the child abuse definitions. In the Bible, child abuse is defined as whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement is when parents are sorely disappointed when they don't get what they feel that they deserve from children. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. Even parent anger directed towards children is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was seen as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in your child. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as with relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent whenever a child cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you need to definitely give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool as a parent alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic concept of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto the parents for causing their child to lose heart. Atheists were seen then as victims of child abuse, not "lost souls" to be "won over". 

The ancients even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" in the New Testament is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers to any sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman of equitable age. Intergenerational marriage was strictly prohibited in the Early Church, with the couple being required to be same age or else the bride being 4 years older at maximum. A man had only two acceptable outlets then - sex with his wife, or else masturbation without pornography for health reasons. Child sexual abuse in biblical times was rare, meaning next to non-existent. 

Child abuse in the Bible was prosecuted by way of a internal church investigation into the matter. Usually, the investigation started when a child confided into a church clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were called to testify before the council. If the parents were defensive at all, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God.

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever endorsing the punitive treatment of a child. Each of the biblical writers also wrote a parenting manual that advocated attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote an attachment parenting manual for minor children. However, these parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s.

America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context as to live and respect one another as a society. Our legal codes, including the current child abuse definitions, are inspired by some form of biblical teaching. However, most Christians got the Bible wrong on child abuse definitions, including lawmakers.  

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Defiance: Why not to punish your child for defiance

Many parents have had to deal with it. A child is being defiant to parents. Most American parents think that children need punishment for defiance. However, the fact of the matter is that defiance happens whenever a child cannot accept a set limit. The key to diffusing the situation is to apologize for hurting your child's feelings with your limits.

The Bible says to avoid offense in children. This means apologize whenever you offend your child, including when they cannot accept a set limit. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. The idea is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like in relations between adults, hurt feelings in children are inevitable when dealing with them. One big reason why children's feelings are hurt is when they are given a limit that they cannot accept. One way that children express their displeasure for set limits is by being defiant towards the limits of parents. The key is to apologize whenever your child is defiant in their attitude towards you, lest it officially be an offense in children. Even when it is hard, you need to apologize to children whenever their feelings are hurt by a limit. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent when a child cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit to never losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Most of the time, children growing up in attachment parenting homes do not defy their parents. But, sometimes, they cannot accept a set limit coming from parents. When a child cannot accept a limit, they sometimes express this displeasure by defying the limits of their parents. They aren't trying to undermine you. They simply cannot accept a limit coming from parents. All it means when a child cannot set a limit is that they are immature. Defiance is normal childhood behavior, and is bound to happen at some point in childhood. Just apologize and get it over with. You may find that an apology alone diffuses the defiance of children, as it helps children to know that they are being listened to. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which  is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!