Honor parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents feel entitled to being honored. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that they deserve blind obedience in children. However, these parents need an attitude adjustment. No entity is deserving of blind obedience except God Himself. Honoring parents simply means taking care of parents as they age. 

The Fifth Commandment is stated in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee,

The Hebrew word translated "honour" is kabad and refers to being a caregiver to another person, in this case an aging parent. The idea is to give parents the same loving care that you received as children. However, this only works if parents took care of you as a child. If your parents were abusive to you, you have the right to shun them, and only forgive them once they give a meaningful apology. If your parents were abusive to you, all you have to do is find a nursing home for them. This commandment seems commonsense, but there was an epidemic of elder abuse and neglect in the Old Testament.

A common motive for punitive measures in parenting is when parents feel "dishonored" and "disrespected". Most American parents punish their children for "disrespect". Some parents only punish their children for "disrespect". However, all punitive parenting is prohibited in the Bible, including in the case that children are "disrespectful" as seen by parents. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking children. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your children, or even stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you should be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your children's feelings with a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool as a child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church, This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment ultimately was received as prohibiting all offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Fifth Commandment does not prohibit speaking against parents. This commandment instead commands that children care for their aging parents. However, parents are obligated to treat their children with respect, and not punish them for anything. If they do not treat their children with respect, they can be shunned by an abused child of theirs.

I myself forgive my parents for abusing me. However, though I forgive, I don't forget. I only forgive them at all because they apologized. If your parents don't apologize to you genuinely, you do not have to forgiven them for abusing you. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Defiance: Why not to punish your child for defiance

Many parents think that defiant children deserve punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that their children are out to "undermine" them. However, defiance happens when a child cannot accept a set limit. Punishing children for defiance is a form of child abuse, and was seen as such in the Early Church.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child, including for defiance. However, it isn't enough to stop spanking your children, or even stop punishing your children altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in your child. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give meaningful apology whenever you hurt your children's feelings. One thing that hurts a child's feelings is when they cannot accept a set limit. One way that children express displeasure for set limits is through defiance. Defiance usually comes in the form of forceful tears. The key to dealing with defiance is to apologize to your child whenever you hurt their feelings with a limit that they cannot accept. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of a half-apology, when children cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this passage was ultimately received then as prohibiting any offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Defiance is normal behavior in children. Most children have their moments when they defy their parents. This happens when a child cannot accept a set limit. They aren't out to get you. They just can't accept the limits that you set for them. This is when an apology is in order. If you simply set a limit, and weren't angry about it, a half-apology should suffice. However, if you are at all angry with your child when setting limits, you need to give a formal apology. Children always forgive, and if they don't, you have officially traumatized your child. 

Anger at a child alone in the Early Church was seen as a form of entitlement. Most Christian parents in the Early Church were not motivated by anger. Instead, Christian parents then were motivated by worry or concern. The Early Christians saw parent anger directed towards children as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey - maybe the child was given warning, but not quite. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will nor inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Biblical spanking": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents think that the Bible supports, or even commands, the use of force in parenting. This is a common attitude coming from American parents. Most American parents cite the book of Proverbs for their pro-spanking "proof". However, the rod of correction in the book of Proverbs refers to judicial corporal punishment, not domestic corporal punishment.

One popular verse used to defend the corporal punishment of children is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes. 

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, namely a switch. However, striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was prohibited under Jewish law, with striking a minor child being prohibited even in a courtroom setting. The rod here refers to a form of judicial corporal punishment known as the 40 minus 1 lashes, administered to the bare back of an adult child, as a sentence for a crime. Minor children were not whipped at all. Fathers were deputized to whip his errant son whenever his son was found guilty of a capital offense, with the 40 minus 1 lashes being a final warning before the offender was put to death. The reason for this commandment is that, otherwise, fathers would refuse to whip their sons when their sons went afoul of the law.

The harsh punishments of the Old Testament are repealed by Christ's Work on the cross. Christ experienced corporal punishment unjustly, in the form of the 40 minus 1 lashes, before being nailed to the cross. The Early Christians shunned all corporal punishment under Roman law, or any corporal punishment for that matter. 

There is no such thing as a "biblical spanking". The Bible does not endorse a "biblical spanking" of any kind. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half-apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this passage ultimately was understood then as prohibiting any offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Corporal punishment of a child was seen by the Early Christians as a pagan custom of parenting that occasionally plagued the parishes of the Early Church. Whenever a parent defended even parent anger, the offender was excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. Contrary to popular belief, the Early Christians were not well integrated into Rome. Instead, the Early Christians lived in urban ghettos, and shunned the outside world.

Any parent anger directed towards a child was seen in the Early Church as entitlement, and was condemned widely as such. Most Christian parents in the Early Church instead were motivated by worry or concern, as opposed to an entitled backbone. Anger at children then was seen as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey. Anger at children then was seen as a predatory drive, meaning not a valid motive for parenting.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents use the Bible as a means of insisting on their "right" of punishing children. Most American parents support spanking and other forms of punishment, citing the Bible as an excuse for abuse. The cornerstone passage used as "proof" that spanking and other forms of punishment are "biblical" is Hebrews 12:5-6. However, Heb 12:5-6 is not a pro-spanking passage, but instead is a reassurance for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

God's Word on enduring hardship is stated in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, as is the case here. Whenever a Christian then came home from a long day at work, they instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally reach down from the Heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, as only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of His children that He cherishes the most. However, God only punishes His children when it doesn't cause harm, whereas earthly parents only punish when it does, in fact, cause harm. This passage was intended as reassurance for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

The Bible does not endorse punishment of any child, including in Heb. 12:5-6. God does not want His Parenting methods to be used by earthly parents, as they could get it wrong. However, the Bible does touch on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it not enough to stop spanking children, or even stop punishing your children altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half-apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement then. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this passage was ultimately received as prohibiting any offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The staple punishment in the Greco-Roman world for a child was an open-handed spanking to the bare bottom. Spanking then was seen in the Early Church as a pagan custom to be shunned. However, some Greek Christian parents were bringing into the church their punitive pagan parenting customs. Paul would have none of it, and wrote two passages to convict Greek Christians of their punitive parenting habits. See also Eph. 6:4, stanza 1. 

The Early Christians never whipped even the worst of moral offenders. This was because Christ Himself experienced the 40 minus 1 lashes unjustly before being nailed onto the cross. Christ died and Rose again on the Third Day in order to abolish the harsh punishments found in the Old Testament in their entirety. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Redefining child abuse: Why the Bible calls for tougher laws against child abuse

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. Most parents today support the modern-day child abuse definitions under state and federal law. However, God's Law is above the law of the land, and the Bible itself has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse. God's Law is the basis for most all of our legal codes, with Judeo-Christian values being the foundation of this country, and thus the child abuse definitions should be expanded, not narrowed.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement in the Bible is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent who is sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. A parent is deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards children is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse then. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of a half-apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto the parents, not the child. An atheist was seen in the Early Church as an abused child, not a "lost soul" to be "won over". 

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers to any sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, including any sexual relations with a child. Marriage then had to be between equals in terms of age, namely if the bride was the same age as the groom, or else up to 4 years older. Most child sexual abuse then happened in the case of father-daughter incest. Most fathers then masturbated righteously to the fantasy of his daughter, at least some of the time. However, all pornography was prohibited then even on the possession of the person, including that which depicted children. Child sexual abuse was rare in the Bible, meaning it was almost non-existent apart from a handful of cases that shocked Jewish society then.

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. In most cases, this investigation started with a child confiding into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were subpoenaed to appear before a council of 3 church elders. If the parents at all got defensive in court, instead of answering to the court, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by anti-spanking Jews, with most Jews throughout history not endorsing anything punitive with a child. Each of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals, with these parenting manuals advocating attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote an attachment parenting manual, with the rod in Proverbs referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes of a wayward adult son, as a sentence for a crime. It just so happens that the parenting manuals in the biblical context were not translated into English until the 1960s. 

The Bible is America's book. We as a country are founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society use the Bible in order to know how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes are largely based off of the Bible. However, the legal codes on child abuse are based on dated biblical teaching. It is about time we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense and expand the legal definition of child abuse to include basically any abuse perceived by a child victim, in order to reflect more modern biblical teachings.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Parental entitlement: Why parental entitlement is sin in the Bible

Many parents support having a backbone, and the parental rights lobby insists on a backbone are if you are "really a parent". The idea behind a backbone is to find something you hate about your child, and form an anger packet based off of that observation. However, the fact of the matter is that having a backbone, from a biblical perspective, is entitlement, namely parental entitlement. 

Entitlement, including parental entitlement, is prohibited in the Ten Commandments. See the Tenth Commandment in Exodus 20:17 KJV:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, or his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's.

The Hebrew word translated "covet" in this passage is lachmod and is defined as, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. However, in the context of parenting, any parent anger directed towards children was deemed entitlement, as most parent anger directed towards a child comes from deservances, with parents being deserving of absolutely nothing from children. This list is not an exhaustive list of things a parent wants but can't have. This commandment was intended as denoting the entitled intent behind a violation of the Ten Commandments.

The Greek root word cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment in the New Testament is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, when in the context of parental entitlement, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent who is sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses of damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. However, hurt feelings are inevitable in children, just as they are in relations between adults. Thus, in order to avoid offense in a child, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt their feelings. Many times, parents hurt their children's feelings by way of their parent anger at their children. However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was understood as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here was convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was received as prohibiting all forms of offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Parental entitlement consists of an entitlement packet, in the form of angry backbone directed at a child. Common advice on forming a backbone is to find something you hate in your child, and focus on it. However, this is bad parenting advice. Anger is a natural human emotion, meaning that you don't need a backbone in order to assert yourself. I don't have such an entitled backbone, and I simply find my anger easier to control. 

Attachment parenting can be understood, partially speaking, as parenting without a backbone. In attachment parenting, you never get angry at a child. What is there to be mad at? They are little, and new to the world. I see children as harmless. Why get angry at someone so small and vulnerable? I love all children, and love them all just as if they were my own.

The parent entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Original sin: How to instruct children in the doctrine of original sin without punitive measures

The doctrine of original sin is arguably the most misused of all Christian teachings. However, the teaching of original sin is the backbone of Christianity. Without original sin, there would be no need for a Savior. However, many parents think that they have to call a child a sinner. But, we ALL are sinners, not just children.

We all as mankind have turned our backs on God. Mankind is the enemy of God, and is deserving of absolutely nothing from his Heavenly Father. We all are sinners in the hands of an angry God, as human beings. Original sin is a valid concept, but one that pertains to all human beings, not just children.

How to teach your child about original sin is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV: 

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,

This stanza of this commandment states that children should not be caused pain or upset in order to know that they are born in sin. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Children are usually punished ultimately because parents see them as sinners. However, not only is punishment banned under God's Law, but so is any offense as perceived by a child. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. One thing that hurts children's feelings is being punished or shamed as a sinner, including being called a sinner. Whenever you hurt your child's feelings, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology to your child, lest it officially be an offense. If you ever call your child a sinner out of anger or haste, or else punish them for sin, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to your cool as a parent ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

You don't have to use punitive measures in order to teach a child about original sin. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. Paul here was referring to religious instruction, of a specific type. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. Whenever children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep on studying. Fathers then said something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. At some point, the topic of original sin is bound to come up. In most cases, children ask parents "Why did Jesus have to die?". The answer you should give is "We are all sinners, and so we need a Savior to save us from sin".

Sin shaming is the core understanding of most child abuse in this country. Most parent want their children to know that they were born in sin. The idea is not to say "you are a sinner". Instead, children should hear from their parents "we are all sinners as human beings", and only in the most reassuring of ways. 

Human nature is not something to idealize. We as humans are glorified apes, meaning God saved mankind from a peacekeeping nature. The human genome is inherently flawed. One flaw of the human genome is the capacity of parents to lose their cool with their children. Most American parents learned to be angry at their children from their parents. Most Jewish parents never get angry with their children, with Christianity being an offshoot of that Hebraic example. Maybe the human genome made sense in the context of peacekeeping, but we were saved from that fallen nature by God. 

The depraved and entitled parents who punish or shame their children for their sins will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!