Pedophilic children: Why a pedophile can be a child

Most parents fear their child being sexually abused by pedophiles. This is a common fear that parents have for their child. However, most parents never bank on their child being a pedophile. But, the fact of the matter is that a child can be diagnosed with pedophilia as young as age 16, and can be identified as a pedophile even earlier. Pedophilia is a very real mental illness involving a genetic sexual preference for children under age 14. 

A pedophile is not necessarily a sexual abuser of children. A pedophile instead is an individual with a sexual preference for children under age 14. Pedophilia is not a narcissistic disorder, but instead involves arrested sexual development in terms of age-oriented sexual preferences, meaning pedophilia itself is a developmental disorder in terms of sexual predisposition. In most cases, pedophilia is secondary to a diagnosis of moderate-severe autism spectrum disorder. The pedophile is usually fully aware of their sexual predisposition towards children by their mid-teens, when pedophilic children grow up despite their attraction figures not growing up with the pedophile. Autism involves a narrow focus on a specific topic. Pedophilia is usually a form of autism involving a narrow focus on children. Most pedophilic teenagers have a child-centered form of autism where they get along great with much younger children. When an adult male with autism can easily nurture children, think pedophile, but the right kind.

Most people think that the hysteria against pedophiles started with trauma survivors. However, attraction to children was a concept long before the word "pedophile" was coined by Richard von Krafft-Ebing in the 1800s. Attraction to children was seen in the Early Church as a flaw that possibly could be used for good. A pedophile was oftentimes appointed church elder in the Early Church, and was charged with the role of giving parenting advice. However, when Rome took over the Western Church, Pope Constantine issued an order stating that when an adult admitted to sexual attraction to children, that "all must disperse" from both the adult attracted to children and all those who defended them. The word "pedophile" was intended as a way for someone with sexual attractions to children to be given a break. The word, however, was stolen again by "the pedophiles", meaning the Uncle Orange. However, the Uncle Orange was never representative of most pedophiles. Most pedophiles are anti-contact, in a way that they could never even admit to their condition without being lumped in with the Uncle Orange. Ultimately, the Uncle Orange overspoke most pedophiles, with knowledge of anti-contact pedophiles being kept among psychiatrists serving pedophiles. Trauma survivors feigned an opposition towards pedophiles, while realing an opposition to the Uncle Orange. They wanted a specific profile of pedophile to give them hope - the "little tykes" type.

The main profile of pedophile is the profile of "little tykes". A "little tykes" pedophile has a mental disability, in most cases in the form of moderate-severe autism spectrum disorder. A "little tykes" pedophile relates to children on their level, not a "Big/little" fashion. Most "little tykes" pedophiles have no capacity for anger at a child. 

Pedophiles have the same needs as an ordinary traumatic. Just like with trauma, a pedophile has a burden to unload onto a therapist. Thus, if your child discloses pedophilia to you, you should listen to them reassuringly. As with many cases of mental illness, in pedophiles, listening is half the battle.

It is a myth that being a pedophile is a sin. The Greek root word translated "fornication" in the Bible is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to anything outside of proper channels as understood then. The proper channels of sexual behavior then were sex with your wife, or else righteous masturbation without pornography. A pedophile can easily just masturbate to sexual thoughts of children, without any pornography of such. Most men in the Early Church left time in their masturbation habits for fantasies of minor children. A pedophile was treated in the Early Church as someone with a flaw, but with that flaw in and of itself not being a moral crime. 

Most pedophiles have a form of sexual shaming trauma from parents. Most pedophiles do not have parent jealousy, but instead have parent trauma from being sexually shamed by parents. Usually, these parents are Christian parents. Most parents of pedophilic children keep down the topic. I myself currently am well-adjusted as a pedophile, and that is because I have a mother and a therapist to talk over my sexual desires towards children with, with my mother being my accountability partner. I want all pedophiles to have the support that I have. 

If you think your child is a pedophile, the idea is to prepare a nest for the pedophile to rest in, inviting a pedophile disclosure. The idea is to say to them ahead of time, "if you ever say you are a pedophile, I will still love you". When they disclose that they are a pedophile, listen and validate their anguish. They aren't being manipulative. They are afraid out of their mind. Most pedophiles hate themselves, and hate themselves because they find themselves attracted to children, yet don't want to sexually abuse a child. That makes them a good person, not a bad person, and they need to know that they are a good person.

A pedophile is basically the man that mothers. Most pedophilic men in particular have a high nurturant drive in relation to children. I myself am a pedophile, and I dote on other people's children, including even babies. I also notice the attractiveness of young girls once they get to be of a certain age. I don't have driven attractions to children, but instead simply have connotational attractions to children, meaning that the young girl stands out in her attractiveness. That is because my mother allows for me to have "private time". I have a low sex drive as of late, but I do have a high drive to nurture a child. 

The depraved and entitled parents who sexually shame their pedophilic children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into torrents of Hell-fire prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent!

"Benign" deprivation: Why children don't need to hear the word "no" from parents "frequent and often"

Many parents buy into it. Most American parents support the doctrine of "benign" deprivation. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that their child needs to hear the word "no" from parents "frequent and often". However, frequent use of the word "no" from parents can be seen as child abuse if it offends the child.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key here to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. One thing that hurts children's feelings is when parents say "no" to most every little thing that they ask for. The idea here is to only say "no" or otherwise set limits when absolutely necessary for safety's sake. The word "no" should be reserved for when children are behaving in an unsafe manner, such as when children are approaching a hot stove, or else when children are running into oncoming traffic. The idea is to avoid offense by way of saying "no" to children seldom, meaning almost never, and only then in the case of life or limb. However, sometimes you do need to say "no" to a child. However, them accepting the word "no" is another story. Whenever you hurt your children's feelings at all in parenting, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt their feelings with your limits, lest it be officially an offense. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan parenting customs, which were punitive in nature. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Christian parents in the Early Church did not say "no" to children "frequent and often". Instead, children were only told "no" by parents seldom, meaning almost never. Limits were only directly set then when the child was a danger to themselves or others, in terms of life and limb. Morals usually are absorbed by a child in the form of a religious development. Usually, children formed their religious beliefs starting at age 6, with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore, with children getting lavish praise and encouragement when they were caught in the act of studying the Bible. From there, children learned from religious study how to avoid entitlement, with help from fathers on understanding the context. It is a myth that children need morals beaten into them - they can learn right from wrong just by reading a Bible. Thus, directly setting limits is unnecessary except when a child is clearly endangering themselves or others with high-risk play. 

A common place for contention in parenting is the store. Usually, the child wants candy from the checkout line and takes it off the shelf, and the parent says "no, put that back", with the power struggle unfolding from there. The myth is that if you give children that candy bar, that they will want "more, more, and then some". However, in the Early Church, the prized candy for children was licorice. Whenever the child took candy off of the shelf, the mother simply asked for the item briefly to pay for it, with the child then being able to then enjoy a nice piece of candy. You might be surprised - that they aren't asking for much else. Most parents can definitely afford a candy bar at the store checkout line. Just make sure that all snacks are paid for before leaving the store. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Temper tantrums: Why temper tantrums are not bad behavior in children

Many parents have to deal with it. A child throwing a full-blown temper tantrum. This\s a common and normal thing for parents to get from their child. Most children in America throw temper tantrums now and then, and this is what most parents perceive as "disrespect". However, temper tantrums are a normal childhood behavior is developmentally appropriate in nature. They are supposed to be acting that way.

God's Law referring to childhood surrender to parents is spelled out in Colossians 3:20 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is in fact υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender to parents in the form of running to their loving arms, with children resting in the Agape love of parents. However, this starts when a parent serves their child selflessly, doing good things for their child, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Parents instead engaged in mutual askance with their children. Parents did not insist on anything from their child, and instead made a grateful request, with children asking things of parents in return. This mutual askance can only happen in the context of a secure trust between parent and child, as was the norm in the Early Church.

For the first 6 years of childhood in the Early Church, crying is the way that children communicated their vulnerable needs. However, most parents today support punitive parenting for whenever the child cries for seemingly no reason at all. However, the Bible is clear in banning any and all punitive parenting, as decided by the child subject of punitive parenting. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key to avoiding punitive parenting is to avoid offense in children, including when they tantrum, especially when they tantrum. The idea behind avoiding offense in children is to respond to their every cry and tantrum, without losing your cool in the process, with even leaving your child to cry it out being seen then as parental entitlement leading to offense. However, those not initiated to gentle parenting will lose their cool with their child. Whenever you hurt a child's feelings with your anger, including as a reaction to a temper tantrum, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. If you set limits not out of anger, and a child throws a temper tantrum anyway, you should be willing to give an informal apology for hurting their feelings with your calmly stated limits with an apology such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, and is a Latin term roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, other punitive methods were banned by this commandment, meaning that the parish at Colossae received this commandment as prohibiting any offenses as perceived by a child ar minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The commandment in Col. 3:21 spells out in direct and convicting terms what should be avoided in parenting in order to become a gentle parent. Paul also wrote parenting manuals to each of the parishes that he oversaw as a deacon. Those parenting manuals could be summed up by the commandment in Col. 3:21, and made up the core of what to avoid in order to become a gentle parent. Parenting advice in the Early Church was given in a convicting mode, convicting parents against certain actions, and from there having parents figure out their parenting by following their natural instincts.

Temper tantrums are normal and natural behaviors in children, especially young children under age 6. Punishing a child for their big feelings, as stated previously in this post. is prohibited, as is any anger as a reaction to the tears of children. The idea is to follow your parental instincts, and respond to the child's cries, meaning don't react out of haste to their cries. The Bible also says in Col. 3:20 to form a secure bond with your child, loving your child as your neighbor. See Matt 22:35-40; 25:31-46.

The reason why children throw temper tantrums is not to undermine you as a parent. It is because they have a vulnerable need that needs met. A toddler or preschooler cries for the same reason a baby cries - they need YOU. Usually, all they need to know is that you will never leave them, as their worst fear then consists of separation anxiety. Past age 6, you reap rewards for your due diligence in forming a bond with your child. In most cases, children are instinctually cooperative with parents, wanting to please their parents by way of doing as they are told by their parents automatically out of secure trust with their child. Parents asked things gratefully of children, and children listened to their parents, then taking good care of their children by way of caring for them as they age (see Exod. 20:12; Eph. 6:2-3). Children listened to their parents not out of fear, but out of closeness between parent and child.

Temper tantrums are not bad behavior. Offense avoidance in parenting, in the original Greek, refers to a specific type of offense made up of refusing to apologize for hurting a child's feelings. The core of gentle parenting is to let your child's offense be a guide as to how to teach them with the respect that they deserve. If your child ever hits you up in the exchange, be the first to apologize for hurting their feelings. The Bible is clear that the first person who apologizes in the exchange settles the dispute. That means YOU must apologize for hurting your child's feelings, or else be willing to. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for stronger laws against child abuse

Many parents think that the Bible has no concept of child abuse apart from obeying the law of the land. Most American parents support the present-day child abuse definitions under state and federal law. However, God's Law is above the law of the land. The Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent being sorely disappointed when they do not get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards children is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents, in the Early Church, was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is pretty much the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. However, it is entitlement just to refuse to apologize to your child when you hurt their feelings, and was seen as entitlement then. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting any offenses as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell on parents for being too harsh on their children. An atheist in the Early Church was seen as an abused child, not a "lost soul" to be "won over".

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to any sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, with the marriage being required to be equal in nature. A groom was only allowed a bride his age or else up to 4 years older than him. Most child sexual abuse then came in the form of father-child incest, with daughters being the usual targets for sexual abuse. Fathers dealt with their sexual attraction to his daughter in particular through masturbating righteously, meaning masturbation without pornography. Child sexual abuse was a rare occurrence in biblical times, meaning it almost never happened .When it did happen, it cause a huge moral outrage against the perpetrator, with the whole community in shock. Child sexual abuse was not hidden on the gaslighting level like it is today. It was hidden, but just above the surface for the child victim to come forward and self-report the abuse that they suffered. Children growing up in the Early Church knew that they were being sexually abused, and self-reported their abuser, usually taking offense at how they were being treated.

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into Rome. The fact of the matter is that the Early Christians lived in enclaves in major cities, shunning the broader Greco-Roman world, and the world at large. The Early Christians were policed into urban ghettos by the Roman authorities, with many Christian practices being banned under Roman law. One of those practices was attachment parenting.

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. This investigation usually started with a child confiding into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were summoned to testify before a council of 3 elders, who would decide the fate of the parents. If the parents at all defended themselves in court, as opposed to answering to the court directly, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God for their entitlement alone.

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by anti-spanking Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever condoning the punitive treatment of children. All of these biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals that advocated attachment parenting. Even King Solomon issued an attachment parenting manual for minor children, with the rod verses in Proverbs referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes, as a sentence for a crime. It just so happens that these attachment parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. Before then, this level of parenting knowledge was only found in the Jewish world, and was seen as binding customary law.

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, and was founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context in order to know how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes, under the English common law, are based off of biblical teaching. However, the "reasonable chastisement" defense is based off of dated biblical teaching. It is about time that we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense, and update out child abuse definitions to be in line with the Bible - meaning whatever the child victim perceives as abuse. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents think that the Bible allows for, or even commands, the use of force in parenting. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most pro-spanking parents cite 5 verses in Proverbs as their "proof" that spanking is biblical. However, the Bible nowhere legitimately allows for a "biblical spanking".

There are precisely 6 verses in Proverbs that mention the rod of correction. Perhaps the most popularly cited rod verse is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew root word translated "son" is ben and refers to a mature adult son. The Hebrew root word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, namely a switch. This passage ultimately refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes, administered by a father or next of kin, to the bare back, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. However, striking another Jew was prohibited except in the context of a courtroom. Striking a minor child was prohibited completely, without exception. The reason for this commandment was that, otherwise, Jewish parents would shield their children from blame. This punishment happened as a final warning before an errant son was put to death. 

Christ died in order to repeal the harsh punishments found in the Old Testament. Christ abolished capital and corporal punishment by suffering it unjustly before Rising on the Third Day. Instead of the harsh punishments of the Old Testament being invoked, Christ opened up the gates of Heaven and Hell before Rising on the Third Day.

The teaching of "biblical spanking" is a man-made teaching. The Bible does not discuss parenting at all in the book of Proverbs. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo)  and refers here to offenses or damages requiring an apology, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings also are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, namely spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting any and all offenses as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Most of the Early Christians were anti-spanking, and always were. However, a group of Greek Christians, including at the parish at Colossae, did not get the memo, and insisted on their old pagan ways of parenting. They even cited Scripture as an excuse for their abusive treatment of their children - the rod verses themselves in Proverbs. For the 3 Centuries that the Early Church lasted, corporal punishment was shunned as of this world. The Early Christians, contrary to popular belief, were not well-integrated into broader Greco-Roman world, with them instead shunning the outside world in urban enclaves. 

The 40 minus 1 lashes was a form of judicial corporal punishment that took place in the Old Testament. However, these punishments were for adults only. Striking a minor child at all was a violation of Jewish law. In terms of parenting advice, King Solomon issued a parenting manual that advocated attachment parenting. All of the biblical writers also wrote attachment parenting manuals. Parenting advice in the biblical context was given in a convicting format, not a reassuring format.  It just so happens that these parenting manuals in the biblical context were not translated into English until the 1960s, with this knowledge on parenting before then staying in the Jewish world.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage does not command spanking

Many parents think that the Bible commands spanking. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents go by the Bible in order to understand proper parenting, A common passage in the New Testament used to justify the use of force in parenting is Hebrews 12:5-6. However, this passage was never intended to justify or excuse any punishment or force in parenting under any circumstance. Heb. 12:5-6 instead refers to trials and tribulations sent the way of the believer. 

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and has a figurative meaning to it. When a Christian man in the Early Church got home from a long day at work, he instead said "God whipped me hard today". God obviously does not come down from the Heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, as only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of the children that He cherishes the most. However, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does, in fact, harm them. This passage was intended as comfort for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome. 

The teaching of "biblical spanking" is a man-made teaching. God does not want His Parenting methods copied by earthly parents, lest they get it wrong. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing children altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology for hurting your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting all offenses as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into broader Greco-Roman society. Instead, the Early Christians lived in enclaves in big cities, shunning the broader Greco-Roman world, as well as the outside world at large. Spanking then was seen as a pagan custom that infiltrated Christian churches. Paul would have none of it in the parishes that he oversaw, and wrote two convicting commandments to both the parishes at Colossae and Ephesus with his inspired pen. 

The staple punishment in Greco-Roman households was an open-handed spanking to a bare bottom. However, the Early Christians saw this sort of punishment as pagan in nature. Corporal punishment was absorbed into the Western Christian churches by way of European pagan influence. The European pagans were brutes with their children. Pope Constantine himself was pro-spanking, and formed the Roman Catholic Church in his pro-spanking image. 

The Bible has an anti-spanking bias. The Bible was written by anti-spanking Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever condoning the punitive treatment of children. All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals that advocated attachment parenting. It just so happens that these attachment parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. Before then, that parenting knowledge only belonged to the Jews. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Honor thy parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents insist on it. Most American parents insist on respect from their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish their children when they feel "dishonored". However, honoring parents means honoring them in a certain specific way - caring for them as they age.

The Fifth Commandment is spelled out in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

And is repeated in Ephesians 6:2-3 KJV:

Honour your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

The Greek root word translated "honour" in Eph. 6:2 is τιμαο (Latin: timao) and refers here to a specific form of honoring parents, with that being caring for them as they age. The idea is to give back to your parents in some way, as thanksgiving for how your parents were nothing but kind and charitable towards you. However, this only works if your parents never abused you. If you were abused by your parents, you have the right to shun your parents. You only have to forgive your parents for abusing you if they give a meaningful apology for them offending you. Even then, if your parents go back on their apology, you can go back on your forgiveness.

"Dishonoring" parents is a common reason for parents punishing children. Most American parents punish their children when they feel "dishonored". In many homes, parents punish their children merely for children "dishonoring" them, meaning when they speak against parents. However, the Bible prohibits any and all punitive parenting, including when parents feel "dishonored". See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child, including for "dishonoring" parents. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing them altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt their feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you" and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting all offenses as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The only reason for the Fifth Commandment was an elder abuse and neglect epidemic in both the Old Testament and the parish at Ephesus. Thus, God gave the commandment, through the inspired pen of Moses and Paul respectively, for parents to be cared for as a reward for being a good parent. 

However, if your parents were ever abusive towards you, you owe nothing to those parents. The only reason that you would have to forgive your parents is if they give a credible apology. Even  then, if parents went back on their apology, you could go back on your forgiveness. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which  is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!