"Benign" deprivation: When telling children "no" frequently can be seen as child abuse

Many parents buy into the concept of "benign" deprivation. This ultimately refers to saying "no" for every little thing that a child wants. The idea is to say "no" to most all of children's petitioned requests. However, not giving your child what they ask for all of the time can be seen as child abuse under God's Law.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. The idea behind not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children involves, in part, not saying "no" to almost every little thing that they ask for. Children need to hear the word "no" only when absolutely necessary, meaning almost never. Parents should find every reason to tell their child "yes" as opposed to telling them "no". However, children will need to hear the word "no" at some point in their childhood, in which case a meaningful apology is in order for hurting a child's feelings, lest it officially become an offense. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in the case of a child not accepting the word "no" when not given out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while saying "no" to a child, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit to never losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan parenting customs, which were punitive in nature. Paul, contrary to popular legend, opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

In the Early Church, parents found nicer-sounding ways of declining a request, such as "that won't work", "that can't happen", or "that isn't possible". Even in the case of clear fornication, which was something then that you confessed at your baptism, children were scolded in a reassuring manner, promising that "you will get a chance when you are older". 

There is no need for a child to be deprived of items they want at the store. Maybe they already have the same toy at home, but don't question the petitioned requests of a child that far in. They are only asking for things from you because they associate the presents from the store with YOU. 

Parenting in the Early Church was never motivated by anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern, with disappointment being the only acceptable displeasure for children in parents. Parent anger directed towards a child was seen as akin to a viper lashing out at an unsuspecting child. Most arbitrary limits from parents come from anger, not worry or concern.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have religion. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, most American parents feel the need to force religion onto their children. But, the fact of the matter is that there are better ways to instruct a child in the Lord without punitive measures.

God's Law on child discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza clarifies for the second that religious instruction should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. The key here is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding children in other adults. Just like with relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in dealing with children. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in the case of a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you need to give a formal apology, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive measures on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

There is no need to beat a religious instruction into a child. Religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul here was discussing religious instruction, namely religious instruction of a specific type. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement, with fathers then saying "you can ask me any question about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. 

Christian parents tend to rush the religious development of their children, and that is where contention in the home starts. For example, there is never a need to force children into grateful postures. Such postures come on their own, and are a sign of appropriate religious development. I myself tie my hands behind my back, and nobody made me as a child. I am a Christian fundamentalist, and nobody taught me religion as a child. Religion is a part of child development, meaning children form their own religious beliefs, if you let them.

It is a myth that a parent needs to break the will of a child in order to teach them religion. Many Christian fundamentalists don't realize that a child does not have a will, as children are not narcissists. A child instead has wants, with most of these wants being harmless. The idea is to give children most of what they want, and everything that they need. Children will learn non-entitlement in due time, when they emulate the non-entitled example of parents.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

Redefining child abuse: Why the Bible calls for stronger laws against child abuse

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents support today's child abuse definitions. However, the Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent who is sorely disappointed when they don't get what they feel that they deserve from children. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards children is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by a child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as in relations between adults, hurt feelings in children are inevitable when dealing with them. Thus, in order to properly avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents when a child cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your children's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell on the parents of the child for being too strict with their child. An atheist in biblical times was seen as a victim of religious child abuse, not a "lost soul" to be "won over". 

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers, in sum, to any sexual relations outside of marriage, including any sexual relations with a child whatsoever. The only sexual outlets allowed for a man in the Early Church was sex with his wife, or else masturbation without pornography. Fathers in the Early Church in particular masturbated to sexual thoughts of his daughter in particular, with fathers having parent attraction to his child, usually with this parent attraction being with his daughter. The sexual abuse of a child was a rare event in biblical times, meaning it pretty much never happened. Whenever a child was sexually abused in the Early Church, the perpetrator was excommunicated and shunned. 

Child abuse was investigated in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. This investigation usually started when a child confided into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were called to testify before the council, where a council of 3 elders decided the fate of the parents. If the parents were at all defensive in their testimony, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever endorsing punitive measures in parenting. Each biblical writer also wrote parenting manuals that advocated attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote in favor of attachment parenting in the parenting manual that he wrote, with the rod of correction in Proverbs referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes as a sentence for a crime. 

America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context as to how to live and treat each other with respect. It just so happens that the parenting manuals from the biblical context were not translated into English until the 1960s. Before then, we didn't know much about the biblical context on parenting.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents think that the Bible says somewhere "spare the rod, spoil the child", and cite it as "proof" that the Bible is pro-spanking. However, this exact phrase is nowhere found in the Bible. The Bible does refer to a rod of correction, but not in the way you might think. The Bible is truly an anti-spanking document.

The Bible does mention a rod several places in the book of Proverbs. One example is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers chiefly to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers to an instrument of legal punishment, in the form of a switch. However, striking a fellow adult Jew was prohibited outside of a courtroom setting, with striking a minor Jew being prohibited in all cases. This passage, and the others like it in Proverbs, refer chiefly to the 40 minus 1 lashes. The Bible specifically says this because, otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son. Fathers were deputized by the Sanhedrin to administer 40 minus 1 lashes as a sentence for a crime.

Legal punishment with the rod of correction, alongside all of the other harsh punishments, were repealed by Christ's Work on the cross. Before Christ was placed on the cross, He was administered 40 minus 1 lashes with a scourge of cords. Because Christ experienced corporal punishment unjustly, the Early Christians shunned all corporal punishment as of this world. 

The book of Proverbs does not prescribe or mandate any "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does touch in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or punishing your child. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in adults. Just like in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children while dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology to your child for hurting their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent when children cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child being entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, including spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Anger was a prohibited emotion in Christian parenting in the Early Church. Parent anger directed towards children was banned under the customary law of the biblical context. Anger at a child was seen then as predatory in nature, with the ancients likening it to a viper. The most displeasure a parent was allowed then was momentary disappointment. Punishment was never acceptable then towards children, for any reason. 

The 40 minus 1 lashes was a final warning before putting an errant son to death for disobeying the Law. Each offense in the Law of Moses came with a specific set of warnings, with the rod of correction being the final warning for violating the Law. After that, the offender was put on watch, and if the offender repeated their offense, they were righteously kidnapped and put to death. The death penalty was a rare institution in the Old Testament, and was done away completely with Christ's Work on the cross.  

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage does not endorse spanking children

Many parents think that the Bible is pro-spanking. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents cite several passages in the book of Proverbs, and one passage in the book of Hebrews, as their "proof" that spanking is allowed in the Bible. However, the passage in Hebrews especially is cited on shaky ground. The book of Hebrews does not refer to earthly parenting. but instead refers to enduring hardship.

God's Word on enduring hardship is stated in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaks unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the loveth tthe chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 

This passage, when interpreted correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it. This sort of metaphorical language is known as "rod language". If you had a long day at work, you instead said then "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally reach down from the heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, as only He can, sending trials and tribulations to the believers that He loves the most. However, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punishes children when it does harm them. This passage was intended by the Apostle Paul as a means of comforting the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome. 

God never intended for His Parenting strategies to be used by earthly parents. The book of Hebrews does not give any advice on any sort of biblical spanking. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. It is one thing to stop spanking children. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or punishing children. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when bringing them up. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in the case of hurt feelings due to limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with a child as a parent, including while setting limits, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The staple punishment for children in Ancient Greece was an open-handed spanking to a child's bare bottom. This was a common punishment directed towards children. Sometimes, a Greek Christian brought this pagan custom into the church with them. Paul would have none of it in the parishes that he oversaw, and used his inspired pen to oppose all punitive parenting of children.

Christian parents in the Early Church, in most cases, never got angry. Anger at a child alone was seen then as entitlement, and then child abuse once the child found the parent anger directed towards them to be offensive or damaging. Most parenting then was motivated by worry or concern, not anger. The most a parent could feel as displeasure towards their child was disappointment. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Expanding child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for expanding child abuse definitions

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. Most American parents support the present-day child abuse definitions. However, the Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent who is sorely disappointed when they don't get what they feel that they deserve from children. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by the child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when bringing them up. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you should be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent when parents set a limit that children cannot accept not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit to never losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which roughly translates to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely trauma. The ancients had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto the parents of the child for them being too strict with their child. An atheist was seen as a victim of child abuse then, meaning not a "lost soul" to "win over".

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers to, in context, any sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, including any sexual relations with a child coming from an adult. Child sexual abuse was rare then, meaning close to non-existent. But, when it happened, the whole church community turned on the offender, and excommunicated and shunned them. 

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Bible by way of internal church investigation. Usually, this investigation started with a child confiding into a church elder or deacon about their home life. A council of 3 elders then subpoenaed the child's parents to appear before the court. If the parents were at all defensive in their testimony, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. 

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, with no Jew even then worth mentioning ever endorsing punitive parenting of any kind. Each of the biblical writers wrote parenting manuals that recommended attachment parenting. Even King Solomon recommended attachment parenting for minor children in his parenting manual that he wrote, with the rod of correction referring to a sentence for crime, namely the 40 minus 1 lashes.

America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context in order to know how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes are based off of the Bible. It just so happens that the parenting manuals in the biblical context were not translated into English until the 1960s. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

Child discipline: How to discipline your child without punishment or force

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common goal for parents to have for their children. However, most parents equate discipline with punishment. But, the fact of the matter is that the Bible says that discipline should not hurt. 

God's Law on child discipline is stated in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offense or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. It is one thing to stop spanking and punishing your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or punishing your children. You need to avoid offense in your children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with other adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when bringing them up. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you should give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is to be willing to give a meaningful apology for hurting a child's feelings due to limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting a limit, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was considered entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of the commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

This second stanza spells out what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Children growing up in the Early Church were left to form their own discipline. When children showed discipline in their behavior, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for children to follow, but backed it up with praise and encouragement, not punishment or force. Parents then looked for certain preferred behaviors in children, and when children showed those behaviors, they were praised and encouraged to keep up the good behavior. Children need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. Paul here was referring to religious instruction, done a certain way as understood in context. Starting when children turned age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given praise and encouragement to keep on studying the Bible, with fathers then saying "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This stanza of this commandment ultimately refers to the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement, with this Hebraic tradition predating Christ by thousands of years in the Jewish world. Positive reinforcement then involved catching children in the act of being good, and then praising them for their good behavior. Children were never punished for misbehavior in the Bible, and when children did get into mischief, parents usually laughed the whole thing off.

Sometimes, a parent has to set a limit. However, whether children accept that limit is a whole other story. Many times, children cannot accept a limit, which is when a parent should apologize for hurting a child's feelings with a set limit, lest it be officially an offense. Usually, that is all that is necessary to get the child to listen. However, if the child still doesn't listen to set limits, you should do it for them. It can't be that hard to do things for your child. 

Eph. 6:4 is commonly falsely associated with the rod verses in Proverbs. However, King Solomon recommended attachment parenting for minor children, with the rod of correction being a sentence for a crime committed by a young adult. Under Jewish law, it was unlawful to strike a fellow Jew outside of a courtroom setting. The rod of correction ultimately refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes. Nowhere are these punishments mentioned in the New Testament, with Heb. 12:5-6 referring to enduring hardship, with the rod being a metaphor for hardship. Col. 3:21 cross-references the first stanza of Eph. 6:4 clear as a bell, commanding that parents not even offend their child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!