Parental entitlement: Why to avoid parental entitlement in parenting

Many parents think it is necessary to have what they call a backbone. This backbone consists of a deserving attitude towards children, namely parental entitlement. Most parents think that this form of parental entitlement is necessary for protecting children from predators. However, any entitlement in parents is banned in the Bible, without exception.

God's Law on all entitlement is spelled out in Exodus 20:17 KJV:

Thou shalt covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbour's.

This list of entitlements is far from a complete list. The Hebrew root word translated "covet" is lachmod, which refers here to entitlement. Entitlement here is defined as, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. In the context of this passage, children count as your neighbor, with feeling entitled to good behavior from their children counting as coveting respect from their children. The Greek root word in the New Testament repeating the Tenth Commandment is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers here to entitlement, proper. 

Parental entitlement is also mentioned implicitly in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings in children that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Any anger directed towards a child was seen as completely abhorrent in the Early Church, and was seen as entitlement in and of itself. Most Christian parents in the Early Church did not ever get angry with their children. Instead, Christian parenting then was motivated by worry at the core of their parenting, not anger at children. In the Early Church, anger in parents was only allowed for child protection reasons, meaning never directed towards the child.

Gentle parenting is defined as any parenting not guided by anger. Gentle parents usually are guided instead by worry or concern, meaning the core of a gentle parent is anxiety, not anger. The idea behind gentle parenting is to know that you are deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to your child just for being parents. Once you lose that entitled anger, the rest should come naturally. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Righteous apology: Why to apologize to children for hurt feelings

Many parents think that they don't have to apologize to their children at all. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think it is beneath them to apologize to their child. However, the fact of the matter is that parents owe their children an apology whenever they hurt their child's feelings.

God's Law on righteous apology is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children, in the context of setting limits especially. Offense in children consists of any hurt feelings that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandment, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patriaa potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Offense avoidance involves, at minimum, apologizing to children whenever you hurt your child's feelings. This apology is definitely necessary in the case of hurt feelings stemming from entitlement. Whenever you refuse to apologize to a child, you offend them officially. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and burning sulfur, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

 

Temper tantrums: Why temper tantrums in children are not bad behavior

Many parents have been there. A child kicking and screaming while throwing a temper tantrum. This is a common and normal occurrence in American home. However, most parents punish their children merely for temper tantrums alone. But, the fact of the matter is that temper tantrums are not bad behavior. 

God's Law on dealing with temper tantrums is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here not just to spanking or otherwise punishing children. It refers to entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. Children cry for various reasons, including when they are petitioning for vulnerable needs. Refusing to tend to a crying child was seen then as offense by way of omission. Any time you hurt your child's feelings while not tending to your child, you offend them. This includes punitive measures imposed on children when they cry. If you ever lose your cool with your child, including when they cry, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for reacting like that to your tears", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

For the first 6 years of childhood, children in the Early Church were in constant closeness to mothers. Wherever mom went, so did her child. Whenever a child cried, mothers responded to the every cry of her child, giving the child nourishment and sustenance. Mothers then never ignored a crying child, and never punished their children for crying. 

Temper tantrums are normal and natural behaviors in children. Most all children throw temper tantrums once and a while, at least. There is no need to spank or punish a child for crying or tantrumming. They grow out of that type of behavior on their own. Usually, by the time children have mastered self-control, they have developed religious beliefs of their own.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

The Fifth Commandment: Understanding the Fifth Commandment to honor parents in context

Many parents feel entitled to respect and honor from their children. In most homes, speaking against parents is an infraction worthy of punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, the Fifth Commandment refers to a specific form of honoring them - caring for parents as they age.

The Fifth Commandment is spelled out in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

And is repeated in Ephesians 6:2-3 KJV:

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

The Greek root word translated "honour" in the New Testament is τιμαω (Latin: timao) and refers here to being a caregiver for someone, namely a parent in this case. The idea is to give parents the same tender loving care that they gave you when you were a child. However, this only works if you had good parents. If your parents were at all entitled or abusive towards you, you owe nothing to them. This commandment was given by God because of an epidemic of elder abuse and neglect in both the parish at Ephesus and the Old Testament context. 

Most parents insist on respect and honor from their children. "Dishonoring" parents is a common reason for punishment in most American homes. Quite a few parents punish their children just for clear "disrespect" and "dishonor". However, the Bible is clear that any punitive measures in parenting is prohibited, including when children "disrespect" parents. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here not just to spanking children, or else just to punishing children altogether for that matter. This commandment prohibits entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings in children that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commanmdment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Respect from children isn't bestowed on a silver platter. It is earned. If you want respect from your child, you need to give respect to children. If you make amends with your child, and treat them with love and kindness, they will do the same for you when you are older. But, if you are abusive towards your child at all, don't expect them to care for you when you are old and gray. 

Any anger in parenting directed towards children was seen in the Early Church as something to keep away from children. Most parenting in the Early Church was instead motivated by anxiety as the base parenting emotion, meaning Christian parents then simply worried a lot about their children. Parent anger directed towards children is entitled in nature, and is something that is modeled from parent to child. Most Jewish parents have a long family history of zero parent anger towards their children. I myself, due to my autism, was born without that last level of entitlement, and will never feel anger towards a child no matter how disorderly or defiant that they are.  I think they are cute when they get into messes or other mischief. The only anger that parents in the Early Church felt was protective anger - when children were being sexually abused, parents protected through the teeth. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Child abuse definitions: Why the Bible calls for tougher laws protecting children from abuse

Many parents think that the Bible has no concept of child abuse apart from obeying the law of the land. Most American parents support the present-day definitions of child abuse under state and federal law. However, God's Law is above the law of the land. The Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent that is sorely disappointed when they don't get the well-behaved child that they feel that they deserve. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as entitlement then. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents then was perceived by the child as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to child abuse as understood in the Bible. This includes any entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings in children that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell onto the parents - meaning not the child - due to the parents allegedly being too hard on their child. An atheist was seen in the Early Church as an abused child, not a "lost soul" to be "won over". 

The Bible even has its own concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" in the Bible is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to anything outside of the Christian sexual norm, as understood then. This norm can be summed up as prohibiting any sexual relations or advances outside of the context of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman, with this marriage needing to be equal in terms of chronological age. A groom was only allowed a bride his age or up to 4 years older. Intergenerational marriage and intergenerational sexual relationships were banned in the Early Church. Most child sexual abuse in the biblical context came in the form of father-child incest, with daughters being the usual victims. Most men masturbated to sexual thoughts of his daughter, at least on occasion. Child sexual abuse was rare in biblical times, meaning it almost never happened. Attraction to children, as a topic, existed on the surface, with decent men being a man of few words when daughters asked about their sexual fantasies. If an adult tried to hide their sexual attractions to children at all, they were suspected of having even more to hide. Most sexually abused children then knew exactly what was happening to them, and self-reported the abuse that they were suffering.

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into Rome. Instead, the Early Christians lived in urban enclaves in major Greco-Roman cities, shunning the broader Greco-Roman world, and the world at large. The Early Christians even had their own court system that was binding into the end of the 1st Century.

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal church investigation. This investigation usually started with a child confiding into a clergyperson about their home life. From there, the parents were summoned to appear before a council of 3 elders who would preside over the investigation. If the parents at all were defensive before the court, as opposed to answering to the court directly, they were swiftly excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God, alongside all witnesses that testified on the parents' behalf.

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were  written by anti-spanking Jews, with spanking a child being banned under Jewish law then and now. All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals that advocated attachment parenting. Even King Solomon wrote an attachment parenting manual, with the rod in Proverbs instead referring to the 40 minus 1 lashes, namely as a sentence for a crime. It just so happens that these attachment parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. Before then, this level of parenting knowledge only existed in the Jewish world. 

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian values. We as a society glean from the Bible and its context as to how to live and treat each other with respect. Even our legal codes, under the English common law, are based off of biblical teaching. However, the criminal defense of "reasonable chastisement" is based off of dated biblical teaching. It is about time that we repeal the "reasonable chastisement" defense, and redefine child abuse as prohibiting anything that the child victim perceives as abuse.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have values. This is a common goal amongst American parents. However, most parents seek to beat a religion into a child. But, the fact of the matter is that there are better ways to instruct your child in the Lord apart from punitive parenting.

God's Law on child discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment states that religious instruction should not be punitive in nature. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers not just to spanking children. It refers to any entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings in children where parents refuse to apologize, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit to never lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent". namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Religion does not need to be beaten into a child. Religion is a base human need for children and adults alike/ The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. This passage refers here to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore, with children teaching themselves how to read on a Bible. Fathers left the Bible open to a reassuring verse (such as the Beatitudes)/Whenever children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep on studying the Bible. Fathers then interjected something along the lines of "you can asl me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer. Children were curious about Scripture. with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. 

Church refusal is a common and normal behavior in children. Most of the time, it is a toddler or preschooler that is refusing to go to church. The fact of the matter is that children that young are too young for religion. Children naturally develop religious curiosity on their own, usually starting at age 6. Until then, it is good to leave the woman of the house and her young children at home. and pray for them as the man of the house at church.

Most Christian parents rush their child's normal and natural religious development. One example of this is non-entitled postures. I tie my hands behind my back when I am out and about. Nobody made me assume such positions. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Child discipline: How to discipline your child without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most America parents want their children to have discipline. However, most parents equate discipline and punishment. But, the fact of the matter is that there are better ways to discipline your child than with punishment.

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The first stanza of this commandment states that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings in children where the parents refuse to apologize for said hurt feelings. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza was ultimately received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings  Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The second stanza of this commandment spells out  what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific type of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Starting at age 6, Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in children, in most cases consisting of self-discipline or self-control. Whenever children showed preferred behaviors, they were given lavish praise and encouragement for more of the same. Christian parents in the Early Church imparted a non-entitled example for children to emulate, with this example being backed up with praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment or shaming. Children also need religious instruction, with religion being a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible, with this instruction namely referring to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore, with the Bible left open to a reassuring passage (such as the Beatitudes). When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep on studying, with fathers then interjecting something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children were curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. 

At some point, children are bound to get into mischief. An example of this mischief is them showing you their artwork as drawn on the wall. The idea is to laugh with your child as they get into mischief. The idea is to get a good laugh at your child's graffiti, and then clean it up later. Don't make children clean up messes. YOU clean it up. Laughing at childhood mischief constitutes the acronym of righteous laughter. 

Sometimes, a parent needs to set limits. However, children accepting limits is another story. Whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your limits, you need to apologize. If you are angry in the process, you definitely need to formally apologize for hurting children's feelings with your anger. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!