"Benign" deprivation: Why telling "no" to children "frequent and often" can be seen as child abuse

Many parents buy into the parenting doctrine of "benign" deprivation. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Ultimately, this parenting doctrine amounts to "frequent and often" use of the word "no". However, the fact of the matter is that frequent use of the word "no" alone can been seen as child abuse.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Part of avoiding offense in children is to only use the word "no" as a parent when absolutely necessary, meaning almost never. The idea is to find every reason to say "yes" to a child, as opposed to finding every reason to tell a child "no". However, sometimes you need to tell a child "no". In the case that the word "no" is necessary, and a child cannot accept the declination of requests, you need to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings, lest it officially be an offense. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half-apology, in the case of a child not being able to accept the word "no" when not given out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including when saying "no", you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan parenting customs, which were punitive in nature. Paul, contrary to popular writings, opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Most "benign" deprivation is motivated by parent anger directed towards children. However, parent anger towards children in the Bible was a banned emotion in parenting. Any time a parent got angry with their child, it was seen by Christian culture then as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey - maybe the child got a warning, but not by much. Parents then largely did not get angry with a child, and if they did, they stuck out like a weed. The word "no" should only be used in the case of worry or concern in parents, meaning never anger.

Telling children "no" all of the time can be seen as child abuse as perceived by the child. It is okay to say "no" to children rarely, when necessary. However, saying "no" all of the time can lead to child abuse in terms of offenses. Parents then found ways to say "no" nicer with alternative phrases to the word "no", such as "that can't happen", "that won't work", or "that isn't possible". 

A common place of contention between parents is in the store. Most parents say "no" to everything their child gets off the shelf. However, you as a parent should give them that candy bar. You most certainly can afford it, so what is the big deal? In proper parenting, children should see their parents as the bringer of good things, not a menace to be feared. In the Early Church, parents let their children pick licorice off the shelf whenever they so pleased, and allowing for those things helped gel a secure bond with children. If you truly cannot afford it, you put it back if they won't. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Redefining child abuse: Why the Bible calls for expanding child abuse definitions

Many parents think that the ancients in the Bible had no concept of childhood, let alone child abuse. This is a common misconception about the Bible. Most parents instead support today's child abuse definitions. However, the Bible has its own definition of child abuse - whatever the child victim perceives as abuse. Most all of our legal codes here in the United States are based off of biblical teachings. Thus, the child abuse definitions under the secular law need to change. 

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement consists of a parent being sorely disappointed when they don't get what they feel that they deserve from children. Parents are deserving of absolutely nothing from children just for existing. Even any parent anger directed towards a child is parental entitlement, and was seen as parental entitlement in the Early Church. Whenever this sense of entitlement in parents was perceived by children as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child abuse in the Bible, as a legal concept, consists of entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in a child, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in the case of limits not set out of anger, in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child, in and of itself, is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers to long-term damages, namely childhood trauma. The ancients in the Bible had their own concept of childhood trauma. Whenever a child grew up to be atheist, shame fell on the parents for being too harsh with their child. An atheist then was seen as an abused child, not a "lost soul" to be "won over". 

The ancients in the Bible even had a concept of child sexual abuse. The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refers here to, in sum, any sexual relations outside of the context of a Christian marriage between one adult man and one adult woman. The only outlets a man could have then was sex with his wife, or else solo masturbation without pornography. Fathers even masturbated to sexual fantasies of their daughters, and that was seen as normal. However, whenever an adult had sexual relations with a child, it was a massive scandal. Child sexual abuse was rare in biblical times, meaning next to non-existent. 

Child abuse was prosecuted in the Early Church by way of internal investigation. Usually, a child abuse investigation started with a child confiding into church clergypersons about their home life. From there, the parents were subpoenaed to testify before the council as to their abuse of their child. If the parents did get defensive at all when being cross-examined by the church elders, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God.

The Bible is an anti-spanking document. All 88 books of the Bible - from Genesis to Revelation - were written by Jews, with no Jew worth mentioning ever endorsing the punitive treatment of a child, then and now. All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals, with all of these parenting manuals advocating attachment parenting. Even King Solomon recommended attachment parenting for minor children. It just so happens that these parenting manuals were not translated into English until the 1960s. 

The Bible is America's book. America is a Christian nation founded on Judeo-Christian values. Even our legal codes are inspired by the Bible, even if they are imperfect in their application of the Bible. However, the law of the land has it wrong on the issue of child abuse, based off of dated church teachings that call for the punishment of children. The Bible opposes child abuse entirely, meaning whatever the child victim perceives as such.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Biblical spanking": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents spank or punish their children. This is a common behavior in parents. Most parents, at some level, use the Bible as an excuse to punish their children. Parents these days need an attitude adjustment in that regard. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document. 

There is no such phrase in the Bible stating clearly "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the book of Proverbs contains 6 verses mentioning the rod of correction. The most well-known of these verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, which was a switch applied to the bare back of a criminal offender, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was considered unlawful then. Striking a minor child for any reason, in any context, was prohibited under Jewish law. The father then was deputized to administer the blows. The reason for these rod verses is that otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son when the Law required it. Ultimately, what is being referred to here is the 40 minus 1 lashes, not a domestic spanking of a child. 

Christ died and Rose on the Third Day in order to repeal the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. Christ was whipped unjustly by the Romans before being put on the cross, and thus the Early Church shunned all corporal punishment, including which was perpetrated by the Romans. Christ instead opened up Heaven and Hell for sinners and saints respectively. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any sort of "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or even punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable when dealing with children. Thus, if you hurt your child's feelings, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals. This included King Solomon himself. King Solomon was anti-spanking as a whole. Maybe he wrote about the 40 minus 1 lashes, but he didn't ever intend for minor children to be whipped. For minor children, he recommended attachment parenting to Jewish parents. 

Christian parenting in the Early Church was not based off of anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child in the Early Church, the parent was disciplined by the council, and was excommunicated if they defended their parent anger in any way. Parent anger directed towards children then was likened to a viper lashing out at an unsuspecting child. Maybe the parent gave warning, but not much of one.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

 Many parents spank or punish their children. This is a common behavior in parents. Most parents, at some level, use the Bible as an excuse to punish their children. Parents these days need an attitude adjustment in that regard. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document. 

There is no such phrase in the Bible stating clearly "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the book of Proverbs contains 6 verses mentioning the rod of correction. The most well-known of these verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, which was a switch applied to the bare back of a criminal offender, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was considered unlawful then. Striking a minor child for any reason, in any context, was prohibited under Jewish law. The father then was deputized to administer the blows. The reason for these rod verses is that otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son when the Law required it. Ultimately, what is being referred to here is the 40 minus 1 lashes, not a domestic spanking of a child. 

Christ died and Rose on the Third Day in order to repeal the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. Christ was whipped unjustly by the Romans, and thus the Early Church shunned all corporal punishment, including which was perpetrated by the Romans. Christ instead opened up Heaven and Hell for sinners and saints respectively. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any sort of "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or even punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable when dealing with children. Thus, if you hurt your child's feelings, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals. This included King Solomon himself. King Solomon was anti-spanking as a whole. Maybe he wrote about the 40 minus 1 lashes, but he didn't ever intend for minor children to be whipped. For minor children, he recommended attachment parenting to Jewish parents. 

Christian parenting in the Early Church was not based off of anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child in the Early Church, the parent was disciplined by the council, and was excommunicated if they defended their parent anger in any way.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents spank or punish their children. This is a common behavior in parents. Most parents, at some level, use the Bible as an excuse to punish their children. Parents these days need an attitude adjustment in that regard. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document. 

There is no such phrase in the Bible stating clearly "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the book of Proverbs contains 6 verses mentioning the rod of correction. The most well-known of these verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, which was a switch applied to the bare back of a criminal offender, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was considered unlawful then. Striking a minor child for any reason, in any context, was prohibited under Jewish law. The father then was deputized to administer the blows. The reason for these rod verses is that otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son when the Law required it. Ultimately, what is being referred to here is the 40 minus 1 lashes, not a domestic spanking of a child. 

Christ died and Rose on the Third Day in order to repeal the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. Christ was whipped unjustly by the Romans, and thus the Early Church shunned all corporal punishment, including which was perpetrated by the Romans. Christ instead opened up Heaven and Hell for sinners and saints respectively. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any sort of "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or even punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable when dealing with children. Thus, if you hurt your child's feelings, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals. This included King Solomon himself. King Solomon was anti-spanking as a whole. Maybe he wrote about the 40 minus 1 lashes, but he didn't ever intend for minor children to be whipped. For minor children, he recommended attachment parenting to Jewish parents. 

Christian parenting in the Early Church was not based off of anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child in the Early Church, the parent was disciplined by the council, and was excommunicated if they defended their parent anger in any way.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents support the use of corporal punishment in parenting, and cite the Bible as their source of pro-spanking "wisdom". Most American parents cite a few verses in Proverbs, and one passage in Hebrews, as their "proof" that spanking is commanded by God. However, the core of their pro-spanking argument is Heb. 12:5-6, and is on shaky theological ground at best. This verse in Hebrews refers to trials and tribulations, not any punishment from any earthly parenting. 

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it. Whenever a Christian then had a long day at work, they instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally whip His children. However, God does punish His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations to the people whom He loves the most. But, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them. Whereas, earthly parents only punish their children when it does harm them. The Apostle Paul here was comforting the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

Hebrews 12:5-6 does not refer to earthly parenting, and definitely does not refer to any "biblical spanking". God does not intend for His Parenting measures to be used in earthly parenting. However, God does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to avoid spanking or punishing children. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in the case of limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The staple punishment in Ancient Greece was spanking to the bare bottom with an open hand. In most European pagan cultures, corporal punishment was a common way that parents dealt with their children. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw. Paul convicted the parent abusers of children with his inspired pen. 

Parent anger directed towards children was not normal in the Early Church. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child out of anger, it was seen as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey, and giving their prey only moment's notice. Most parenting in the Early Church happened out of worry or concern, with the only displeasure being allowed in parenting then being disappointment. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

 

Crying: Why crying in children is not bad behavior

Many parents have been there. A child crying seemingly for no reason. Most American parents punish children for crying "out of nowhere". However, children always cry for a reason. A child cries out of nowhere because they have vulnerable needs that need met.

God's Law mandates a secure bond between parent and child. See Colossians 3:20 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to a specific form of surrender - surrender to the loving arms of parents, namely the loving arms of mothers. Ultimately, this word refers to a secure bond between parent and child in the family home. The context, when used as a guidepost, tells us how to form a secure bond with children.

For the first 6 years of childhood in the Early Church, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning wherever the mother went, so did her child. Whenever children cried, mothers cooed before picking up her child, and from there, she diagnosed the need before meeting it. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period.

The one main reason for crying in children is separation anxiety. Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than parents today that children cry out of nowhere, many times, because they fear that mom will "go away and never come back". Whenever mothers left the room in a house, perhaps to answer the door, children cried, and kept crying, until they were attended to. It is recommended today that mothers stay home and care for her child during the first 6 years of childhood, so not to realize a child's worst fear of mom disappearing. 

Children, under customary law in the Early Church, were understood as having five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment. Whenever a child was tired, it was counted as an attachment need, as mothers co-slept next to their child, or else co-snuggled with children when they needed a nap in the middle of the day.

The depraved and entitled parents who punish their children for crying will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into the abyss which the ever-burning Hell designed for Satan and his accomplices! Repent!