Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have values. This is a common goal for parents to have. Most American parents want their children to have religion. However, most parents impart Judeo-Christian values onto children by way of punitive measures. The fact of the matter is that children don't need a religion beaten into them. Children can come to religious conclusions on their own.

God's Law on child discipline, including religious instruction, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that religious instruction should not be punitive in nature. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refer here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your children, including for things such as refusing to pray or not assuming grateful postures. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing them altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. If you hurt someone else's feelings, you need to apologize. It works the same way with children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need be willing to apologize for hurting their feelings. If you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This first stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, and is a Latin term roughly translated roughly as "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive measures on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. But, this stanza of this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Children do not need to have a religion beaten into them. Religion is a base human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated  "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. The Apostle Paul here was discussing religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore, with the Bible left open to a reassuring passage (such as the Beatitudes). Children taught themselves how to read on a Bible. Whenever children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were praised and encouraged to keep studying the Bible. Fathers then interjected something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children then were curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context.

Children oftentimes refuse to go to church. This is a common and developmentally normal behavior for toddlers and preschoolers. The fact of the matter is that children that young are too young to be taught a religion. If a child does not want to go to church, leave them home with the woman of the house, with the man of the house praying for his family. They eventually, at around age 6, will start to form their own religious beliefs. 

Most Christian parents rush the normal religious development of children. Most Christian parents do things such as punish children for not showing grateful postures. I myself tie my hands behind my back, and nobody made me.. Grateful postures are simply a sign of good religious development. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke your children to anger throigh punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and burning sulfur, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!