"Benign" deprivation: Why children shouldn't hear the word "no" from parents "frequent and often"

Many parents buy into it. It is the attitude that children need to hear the word "no" from parents "frequent and often" to "prepare them for the real world". However, children don't need to be toughened up for the real world. They aren't ready for the real world. They are only children.

God's Law on "benign" deprivation is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense as perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The key here is to avoid offense in children. If you hurt someone else's feelings, you need to apologize. It works the same way when dealing with children. One thing that perhaps hurts children's feelings the most is being told "no" for every little thing that they ask for.. The idea is to only say "no" to children when absolutely necessary, meaning for safety's sake. Whenever a child asks for things that are dangerous, you  then should say "no". Another valid reason to say "no" to a child is when they are behaving in an unsafe manner, such as playing ball in the house, or else going to touch a hot stove. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to avoid hurting their feelings unnecessary with the frequent use of the word "no". However, sometimes the word "no" is necessary, in which case the parent should apologize for setting the limit with children. If you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan parenting customs, which were puntive in nature. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The idea as a parent is to give your child most everything that they want, and absolutely everything that they need. A benign want counts as a need for a child. Children have limited self-control, with this lasting until age 8. The word "no" is earth-shattering to a child. Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than parents today how to accommodate children in their upset - only say "no" seldom, meaning preferably almost never.

One place of contention in parenting is the store. Usually, the child is asking for something, such as a candy bar, and usually, the parent says "put that back", and from there, the power struggle ensues. Why not just get the child what they want? They aren't usually asking for much. If a child wants something expensive, just save your own money to get them what they want. Don't make them work for the money. Work for the child's money yourself. In the Early Church, children all wanted licorice from the candy stand. The parent happily paid for the licorice themselves, and then let the child enjoy the candy that they wanted.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss, which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!