Child punishment: Why not to punish your child (and what to do instead)

Many parents still punish their children. Most American parents think that it is "imperative" that parents punish their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, the Bible is clear that punishing a child is morally wrong and unlawful under God's Law. Therefore, what should a parent do instead of punish their children? This article speaks of alternative discipline techniques for parents to use.

The doctrine of mutual submission is the guiding principle for Christian parenting, with the burden of proof falling squarely on the parents. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This form of surrender to parents can come with strings attached for the parent, meaning children can expect due pence in return for their surrender by giving orders to parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the use of the scourge of cords, and were attachment parents towards their children.

What is there to do instead of punishment? The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, to modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, and then their children followed in their footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever a child was caught emulating the disciplined example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with "I see you" statements. Boys were given manly praise from their fathers when caught being good, and girls were given snuggles from their fathers when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents could only give advice to their children when needed, or else counsel their children when they are upset. Otherwise, children held divine authority over parents.

Children do need discipline, but they don't need discipline imposed on them. True discipline in children comes from within, not from without. Children are capable of self-improvement almost entirely on their own, albeit with a sturdy Christian example to emulate. Once you catch your child copying your disciplined example, take the time to encourage that good behavior in them. This praise and encouragement then motivates further progress in children.

There is only one way to motivate a child to have discipline, and that is a secure attachment with the mother, with this secure attachment reflecting in relation to the father. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When children cried, mothers rushed in and cooed, before diagnosing the need. Many times, all the child really needed was skin-on-skin time with mom. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers, and did so until the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep. 

The abovementioned intense closeness, during the first 6 years, prepared children for absorbing the disciplined example of fathers especially. Children gradually developed the chastened up attitude of their fathers. This involved children, at their own pace, absorbing the disciplined example of fathers. This process is hastened when a Bible is left out for the child to discover and study on their own. When catching your child being good in any way, reward them with praise and encouragement. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

How to raise your child not to become a criminal (without punishment or force)

Many parents are convinced to even abandon gentle parenting they were involved in, by false teachers on the parental rights side of child advocacy. The common excuse for punishing children is that it keeps them from committing a crime. Many police officers in the juvenile justice section of policing support keeping all forms of child punishment legal. The fact of the matter is that punitive parenting sure gives children structure, but that structure does not prepare them for the real world, and that's how crime happens.

Anyone is capable of committing a crime under the right/wrong conditions, as most criminal offenses are crimes of opportunity. This doesn't mean everyone will commit a crime. Punitive parenting provides a sort of structure that is akin to a prison. This is why, many times, criminal offenders commit crimes just to go back to prison - they were raised in a form of structure that cannot be replicated in the adult world. Most criminals want to be in prison, because they get the structure that they are used to in prison, that they otherwise could only get with their parents.

Raising your child not to be a criminal involves, instead of being strict on children, encouraging your child to be strict with themselves. This is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, iucluding, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral stature prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus of their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the scourge of cords.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with their children then following in their footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever a child was caught emulating the Christian example of their parents, fathers lavishly praised and encouraged their children with "I see you" sportscasting statements. Boys were given manly praise from their fathers when caught being good, and girls were given snuggles when caught being good. Children sometimes needed direct instruction from parents. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents could only give advice, or else counsel children when upset. Otherwise, parents were held under the divine authority of their children, with children being the salt and light of the world.

Strictness is a must in Christian parenting. But, most parents believe that children need parents to be strict with them. This is false. A child needs to be strict with themselves in order to center their emotions. Self-strictness needs to be modeled by a trusted parent who is strict with themselves. Children, contrary to popular belief, can find strictness on their own. But, it is guided by the self-strictness of parents. When you catch your child being strict with themselves, be sure to encourage that behavior with "I see you" statements.

Children can be strict with themselves, but they need a little motivation to be strict with themselves. That comes from a secure attachment between mother and child, in a way that translates onto the father. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever children cried, mothers were right there to diagnose and meet the need of the child, cooing in the process in order to validate their child's cries and upsets. When out and about, young children under age 6 were swaddled to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets.

When children are allowed to be strict with themselves, they almost never, if not never, commit crimes of any kind when they are an adult. They find their own structure, instead of relying on outside input. A criminal, by definition, is someone with a mental defect where they are reliant on punishment from others in order to behave in a peaceable and orderly manner. If you don't need punishment to be good, maybe that is because nobody punished you for anything as a child. When structure isn't imposed on your child, they simply find their own structure. If you have your own structure apart from someone punishing you, you are officially not a criminal. Most people in America are criminals, as due to their punitive parenting habits, they commit crimes when they think they can get away with it. This is why we need police, and need to stop defunding the police and keeping them from doing their jobs.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Righteous pampering: Why God wants you to pamper children instead of punish them

Many parents think pampering children is the irresponsible way of being a parent. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish their children even for little things such as crying or bad moods. The fact of the matter is that God wants parents to pamper their children, and for children to be pampered by parents in a certain specific way.

Righteous pampering is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: as this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in is original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the scourge of cords.

Righteous pampering means pampering your child a certain way. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude in the family home, in skin-on-skin closeness and sustenance. When children cried, mothers cooed before picking up the child, and then holding the child in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. When out and about, young children were swaddled to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin warmth and sustenance. Co-sleeping lasted until the child reached the onset of puberty, when they wanted their own place to sleep.

Respect for parents was a thing in biblical times. However, children only paid their parents reverent respect once they left the house. At their baptism as an adult, young adults bowed down to their parents, giving thanks for all of the times they were pampered and coddled by their parents. The amount of reverence that a parent received was dependent on how often parents pampered their children, and to what degree parents pampered their children. Some children were punished or otherwise abused by their parents, and they, in most cases, shunned their parents, or in more rare cases, brought their parents before the council of 3 elders, thus getting their parents excommunicated from the church.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Why to catch children being good (and not being bad)

Many parents believe discipline involves catching children committing an infraction or offense, and then punish them for it. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents see discipline as punishing children for things that they did wrong. The fact of the matter, however, is that proper Christian discipline of children involves catching children being good, and rewarding them with lavish praise and encouragement. 

Catching children being good is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, the scourge of cords was used by Greco-Roman fathers on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the scourge of cords.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children through example. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, instead of caught being bad. Whenever children were caught following the disciplined example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers with "I see you" sportscasting. Boys were given manly praise when caught being good, and girls were given snuggled when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents could only give advice, or else counsel a crying or upset child. Otherwise, children called the shots, holding divine authority over their parents.

Promoting good behavior in children starts with YOU promoting a good Christian example to children. This means declaring yourself a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing. Knowing that you are deserving of absolutely nothing forces you to focus on what you already have, and be grateful for it. You can ask for more, but do so politely, as the answer might be "no". When a child shows that kind of discipline and chastisement, reward them with lavish praise and encouragement. 

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and children were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever children cried, mothers responded by cooing before tending to the vulnerable needs of the child, perhaps holding the child close to her bosom in mammary closeness. Children under age 6 did not have much of any contact with their father, and stayed ranged beside mothers. For the last 7 years of childhood, children were handed over to their father for religious education, where children studied the Bible on their own, with fathers praising the child for getting religion. 

The chastening of the Lord is different when practiced by earthly parents. The idea is to promote a disciplined example, and when you catch your children following your example, reward them with praise in the form of sportscasting. An example of sportscasting is "I see you having self-control!". Children will only absorb the disciplined example of parents gradually, at their pace, but when children do emulate your example, it is good to praise them lavishly using sportscasting "I see you" statements. Children should emulate your disciplined example by the teenage years. Mothers nurture up close, and fathers nurture from afar. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Time-in: Why mammary closeness is the biblical way of doing time-in

Many parents today are not authoritarian parents. Most American parents today are punitive authoritative parenting. Most children who behave in a certain way get time-out as a form of false imprisonment, and then maybe a disciplinary spanking. However, children don't need time-outs or any punishment for that matter. They need time-in. There is a proper, biblical way of doing time-in, and that is mammary closeness.

Mammary closeness is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with children surrendering to the loving arms of mothers, and mothers providing nourishment and sustenance from beneath yet from above. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, the scourge of cords was used by Greco-Roman fathers on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the scourge of cords as a punishment.

Time-in has a valid purpose in helping children calm down. But, there is a right way and a wrong way of doing time-in, based on Christian tradition. The proper way of doing time-in is through mammary closeness. Whenever children cried, mothers rushed in and cooed, all the while picking up the child in skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance. Then, she held the child to her bosom in mammary closeness, possibly breastfeeding the child to sleep if milk-hungry.

Mammary closeness is the proper strategy for helping children with their emotions. The bosom area of the mother was not entirely intended for men to sexualize. It is there primarily to nurture children. Mammary closeness involves holding the crying or upset child close to the bosom area, with the child then reverting to silent cries. If the child needs to be breastfed, mothers can offer the child to breastfeed.

The modern application of mammary closeness is different than the contextual application of mammary closeness, as women were technically allowed to be naked in public, even if they covered up to honor their husband most of the time. The idea today is to, when in public, take the child to the ladies' room and, when in a stall, tuck the child underneath your shirt in mammary closeness. When at home, it is recommended that you wear no more than a bra and panties, or preferably, be completely naked, ready to soothe the child with skin-on-skin mammary closeness. The man of the house is likely to come out with his true feelings about attachment parenting, and perhaps you might need to get him out of the picture if the nudity in the household uncorks a predator.

The context of all this is one of birth nudity. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, meaning both mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Children went completely naked wherever they went, and were afforded their clothing once they were baptized into the church as adults. The modern way to practice birth nudity is to allow your child to choose, on their own, when they want to wear clothing, and otherwise, the mother should be quartered in the house with them until the child chooses to wear clothing, providing nourishment and sustenance in the mean time.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!  

Independence: How to teach your child to be as independent as possible

Many parents think that obedience is the goal of parenting. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that the goal of parenting is to raise an obedient child. However, when confronted with independence being a goal, few parents will dispute that they want their children to become independent. However, in order to have healthy independence, you first need to foster a healthy dependence on you as a parent.

The concept of healthy dependence is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, the scourge of cords was used by Greco-Roman fathers on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the scourge of cords, and were gentle with their families.

Part of healthy independence is healthy dependence. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever a child cried or was upset, mothers cooed as they picked up the child in skin-on-skin closeness, then holding the child close to their bosom in mammary closeness, breastfeeding the child to sleep if milk-hungry. When out and about in public, mothers swaddled their young children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. When children cried in public, it was usually a silent cry, and then mothers held the child swaddled in swaddling blankets closer, perhaps breastfeeding the child in public if the child was milk-hungry.

When children attained the age of 6, they usually started shaking off the comfort of their parents. Children, after checking in with mom, played outside freely, venturing farther and farther from home. Then, come nightfall, after a long day of activity, children retreated to the sustaining warmth of mothers in the form of co-sleeping. Children slept next to mothers, in most cases, until the child reached the onset of puberty. Once children reached the onset of puberty, they, in most cases, wanted their own place to sleep.

Independence is something that happens naturally in most children, at some point in their lives. If they aren't independent by the teen years, they must be struggling with some sort of mental health disorder. Autism, for one, involves arrested or delayed emotional or cognitive development. If your child has not been diagnosed, then perhaps you are being punitive on your child or were in the past - that stunts their growth as well.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

"Be grateful": Why to model gratitude instead of demanding it

Many parents have said these two words before - "be grateful". Gratitude is something many American parents insist upon. However, few of these parents are actually grateful themselves for their child. Most American parents don't show gratitude for their child until their child is abducted and/or killed. The fact of the matter is that the chastening of the Lord, in and of itself, leads to gratitude, and this form of chastisement can be modeled to children.

Gratitude can be taught using the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That is may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, parents in Greco-Roman society used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the scourge of cords as a form of child punishment.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here, in this context, to modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything. coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in the footsteps of parents. Children in biblical times were caught being good, instead of caught being bad. Whenever a child was caught emulating the grateful example of their parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with "I see you" statements. Boys were given manly praise and encouragement when caught being good, and girls were given snuggles when they were caught being good. Fathers chastened up children in this encouraging way. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents could only give advice to children when they needed it, or counsel children when they were crying or upset. Otherwise, parents were under the divine authority of their children,

Gratitude is something to model to children, and that means YOU as a parent should be grateful first. The road to gratitude is coming to the conviction and knowledge that YOU are a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, not even anything you already have. This forces the person to become grateful for everything around them. Children can pick up on that grateful attitude real fast, and then they end up copying your example. When you see them doing this, take time to reward them with praise and encouragement.

How do you motivate a child to follow in the footsteps of parents? Children need a secure attachment with a parent in order to copy their example. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever children cried, mothers swooped in to reassure the child, cooing and picking up the child in skin-on-skin format, then holding the child close to the bosom of mothers in mammary closeness. Children cannot be expected to learn gratitude until they are teenagers or young adults, when they are old enough to internalize the grateful example of parents.

It is not acceptable to say "be grateful" to a child. If you want them to learn to be grateful, you ought to first learn gratitude yourself. Gratitude and fits of anger come from a deserving attitude, where you feel that you are deserving of things just for existing. YOU, dear parents, are depraved and decadent sinners who are deserving of absolutely nothing. Thus, you are to be grateful for everything coming your way, without any whim or complaint. True gratitude is not effusive or emotional in nature, but is stoic and calm in nature, at peace with the world, in the here and now. 

Gratitude for parents was expressed first in a child in a single event. When children attained the age of majority in the Early Church, they bowed down and surrendered to parents come their baptism, The idea behind honoring parents in the Bible is giving them due thanks for all the fond memories of being pampered. If you weren't pampered as a child, you could shun your parents, and even take them before the council to face excommunication from the Early Christian Churches of God. This thanksgiving came in the form of caring for parents. The idea was that while the child was still living with parents, the parents warmly took care of their children. This paved the way for children to thank their parents by caring for them.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath using punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!