Why to catch children being good (and not being bad)

Many parents believe discipline involves catching children committing an infraction or offense, and then punish them for it. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents see discipline as punishing children for things that they did wrong. The fact of the matter, however, is that proper Christian discipline of children involves catching children being good, and rewarding them with lavish praise and encouragement. 

Catching children being good is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, the scourge of cords was used by Greco-Roman fathers on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians shunned the scourge of cords.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children through example. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, instead of caught being bad. Whenever children were caught following the disciplined example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers with "I see you" sportscasting. Boys were given manly praise when caught being good, and girls were given snuggled when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents could only give advice, or else counsel a crying or upset child. Otherwise, children called the shots, holding divine authority over their parents.

Promoting good behavior in children starts with YOU promoting a good Christian example to children. This means declaring yourself a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing. Knowing that you are deserving of absolutely nothing forces you to focus on what you already have, and be grateful for it. You can ask for more, but do so politely, as the answer might be "no". When a child shows that kind of discipline and chastisement, reward them with lavish praise and encouragement. 

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and children were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever children cried, mothers responded by cooing before tending to the vulnerable needs of the child, perhaps holding the child close to her bosom in mammary closeness. Children under age 6 did not have much of any contact with their father, and stayed ranged beside mothers. For the last 7 years of childhood, children were handed over to their father for religious education, where children studied the Bible on their own, with fathers praising the child for getting religion. 

The chastening of the Lord is different when practiced by earthly parents. The idea is to promote a disciplined example, and when you catch your children following your example, reward them with praise in the form of sportscasting. An example of sportscasting is "I see you having self-control!". Children will only absorb the disciplined example of parents gradually, at their pace, but when children do emulate your example, it is good to praise them lavishly using sportscasting "I see you" statements. Children should emulate your disciplined example by the teenage years. Mothers nurture up close, and fathers nurture from afar. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!