Many parents think that the Bible allows, or even commands, a parent to spank or punish their children. The core argument for the false doctrine of "biblical spanking" is in Heb. 12:5-6. However, the fact of the matter is that Heb. 12:5-6 is not about earthly parenting.
God's Word states in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:
And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, not faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μασιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers here to a figurative whipping from God. This mention of whipping is a form of ancient metaphor known as rod language. Instead of saying "I had a long day at work" in the Early Church, you said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally reach down from the Heavens and whip His children. But, God does punish His children, like only He can. But, God only punishes His children when it doesn't harm them. Earthly parents only punish their children when it does harm them. This passage ultimately refers to trials and tribulations\that God sends to those He loves the most, with this passage being intended to comfort the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.
God never intended for His parenting methods to be used by earthly parents. Heb. 12:5-6 does not touch on earthly parenting. However, God does weigh in on the spanking issue. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking or punishing your children - you need to avoid offense in your child. The only way to avoid offense in children is to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. You especially need to apologize to a child when you lose your cool with your child, as parent anger directed towards children, in and of itself, is entitlement. However, even refusing to apologize to a child that you upset is entitlement. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. The most common punishment imposed on children in Ancient Greece was spanking to the bare bottom. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
Spanking, in the Early Church, was seen as a pagan custom infiltrating their churches. Most Christian parents in the Early Church were not pro-spanking, and instead were anti-spanking. The Early Church, as a whole, shunned any form of punishment of a child, deeming such treatment of children to be of this world.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
