It's okay to not be okay: Breaking the anti-pedophile mental health stigma

Many adults think that pedophilia is not a valid mental illness. Most adults know that pedophilia is a mental illness, including most mental health professionals. However, the fact of the matter is that pedophilia is a treatable mental illness, like the others in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5).

A pedophile is not an anger packet. A pedophile is a human being who has a sexual preference for children under age 14. Most pedophilia is a secondary diagnosis to autism, with the individual with pedophilic autism focusing on children in terms of knowledge and social preference. Most pedophiles are ambiverts, meaning they either want to be alone, or else with children. "Autism" means "one with", with a pedophile being one with children as per their autism. 

Most pedophiles need to accept their fantasies. The Greek root word denoting fornication is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and refer to sexual activity in a man outside of two specific ventricles - sex with his wife, or sex with himself without pornography. The more you masturbate to thoughts of children, the more you feel comfortable doing so. But, a simple sexual fantasy about a child, perhaps under the covers, will not lead a man to pornography. I myself masturbate regularly for health reasons, but avoid pornography like the plague. I like my fantasies, and have committed to God to keep the righteous masturbation going. Giving up child fantasies for survivors is actually an infraction under my Christian faith, and an offense once a child is harmed sexually. It is a myth that the word πορνεία completely outlaws pedophilia. It only outlaws child sexual abuse as well as pornography. If you can go without those as a pedophile, you can be saved as a Christian. The "impossible standard" for pedophiles is not that impossible - just masturbate without pornography, and then the rest solves itself. 

Most pedophiles are not a danger to children. Most pedophiles are instead more of a danger to themselves than anyone else. Many cases of pedophilia also come with major depression as a primary diagnosis alongside the autism. Most pedophiles polled at the pedophile support group Virtuous Pedophiles (VirPed) shared some level of suicidal ideation, with suicide being a regular topic at VirPed, with some members posting about their suicide attempts, and complaining about how they ended up in the hospital instead. 

It is okay to not be okay. Being a pedophile is a form of not being mentally okay, but what shame is there for asking for help? There should be no shame in asking for help as a pedophile. However, pedophiles are constantly shamed and suspected merely for admitting their condition. 

However, I have identified both by trauma and by pedophilia, and that is what the survivors want with a pedophile who does the messiah. I have gotten a lot done. Most trauma-informed mental health professionals are now informed on how to treat pedophiles, albeit with a quiet welcome. The key argument in favor of pedophiles that I made is that pedophiles need the same thing as victims of sexual abuse - listening and validation. Some pedophiles may need some extra accountability, but they usually come to those conclusions on their own. Sometimes, the pedophile may need guidance as a nudge to go in the right direction.

Pedophile stigma did not start with children's rights. Pedophile stigma ultimately comes from the Holy Roman Empire, meaning once Rome took over the Western Christian Church. Whenever you admitted to attraction to children in the Holy Roman Empire, you swiftly lost all of your friends and family, and this stigma lasted until today. In the Early Church, admitting to pedophilia was not a big deal, as many men had the disorder, and those men were coveted prizes for the women of the church. If a pedophile had a squeaky clean record, they were appointed clergy, and held the responsibility to take in orphaned children. 

I am a pedophile myself, and I don't blame fellow survivors for the hatred I face just because I have the mental heath disorder of pedophilia. They just played into an existing prejudice that existed. In the 1970s, the first person to bring up pedophilia or child sexual abuse was the pedophile, with the word "pedophile" being synonymous with the word "abuser". This stigma also affected victims of child sexual abuse, as they were called pedophiles as well just for self-advocating for a trauma need. Most trauma survivors here at children's rights, in the 1970s, had to attract pedophile support a certain way, namely by gaining just the right opposition that they change their mind on pedophiles - and they wanted a mentally disabled pedophile to come and keep them company. The key point that they wanted opposition on was the claim that pedophiles "are immune to trauma" - I have trauma, and that is what survivors need to hear from a pedophile. They will not take advantage of trauma. They want to listen to a pedophile's heartbeat in that regard. The survivors still are listening in on everything that I write, and send me airborne messages that are encouraging and validating in nature. They also showed me their trauma scars, and I got angry at their abuser.

It is okay to ask for help as a pedophile, meaning there should be no shame in asking for help with sexual desires for children. There is support available. One good resource is the Association for Sexual Abuse Prevention (ASAP), where you can find a good therapist who will understand how to treat a pedophile. I have also opened up the doors to pedophiles at trauma-informed family therapy practices. Word of my case of pedophilia will travel far and wide, slowly but surely, and then society will include pedophiles. Best wishes to all pedophiles in finding the right therapist!