Positive reinforcement: Understanding the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common want for children to have. However, most parents equate discipline with punishment. But, the Bible instead calls for positive reinforcement when a child is caught in the act of being good.

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

This first stanza clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including parent anger. It is not enough to avoid spanking or punishing your child - you need to seek to avoid offense in children. Whenever you hurt your child's feelings, it is good to apologize to your child, thus avoiding offense that way. However, if you offend your child by way of losing your cool with your child, you should definitely give a formal apology to your child, and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again. All parent anger directed towards a child in and of itself is entitlement. Apologizing to children and avoiding offense in children go hand in hand. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishments. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

This second stanza spells out what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything harsh or punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a certain specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Children were left to form their own discipline, and when they showed discipline in their countenance, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for their children, but instead backed it up with praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment and force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated "instruction" in more modern translations. Religious instruction in the Early Church started at age 6, with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. Whenever children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were warmly encouraged to keep up the good work, with fathers saying to children "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer. Children were eager to learn about Scripture, with fathers giving pointers as to the context. This stanza of the commandment spells out the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement, meaning that positive reinforcement be spontaneous in nature, as opposed to sticker charts or rewards systems. 

Sometimes, parents needed to set limits. However, children don't always take kindly to limits being set. Whenever a child cries or protests a limit, parents should apologize to their child for having to set a limit, in the form of "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you lose your cool with your child, you should give a formal apology, such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you" and then commit never to lose your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is the moral crime of parental entitlement.

It is a myth that children were raped in the biblical context. This is a common excuse for fathers in particular to rape his children. That actually happened in most ancient cultures. But, in Ancient Jewish culture, fathers simply masturbated to thoughts of his daughter. The child simply stood out in terms of parent attraction, with fatherly desire for his child ultimately amounting to a supervisory attraction. No man loses track of children when he is attracted to them. Fathers did discipline their children, but only in the form of verbal reward and praise when children showed favorable behaviors.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive measures will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!