"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents believe the Bible says "spare the rod, spoil the child". This is a common phrase attributed to the Bible by parents. Most parents think that the Bible commands them to spank and punish their children. However, the fact of the matter is that "spare the rod, spoil the child" refers to a few verses in the book of Proverbs that mention the rod as a form of judicial corporal punishment. 

Arguably the most quoted of these rod verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes. 

The Hebrew word for "son" is ben and refers to a mature Jewish son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to a switch, administered to the bare back as a form of judicial corporal punishment. This verse ultimately refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes. In the Old Testament, it was unlawful to strike another Jew outside of a courtroom, with this protection also extending to children. Minor children were never whipped for anything in the Old Testament.

The 7 verses in Proverbs that mention the rod are repealed verses. Christ repealed the harsh legal punishments of the Old Testament with His Work on the cross. The book of Proverbs contains no parenting advice whatsoever. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. It is not enough to simply give up spanking, or any punishment for that matter - you need to avoid offense in your child. Avoiding offense and apologizing to children go hand in hand. The key to avoiding offense in a child is to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. However, if you lose your cool with your child, you should definitely apologize to your child for losing your cool with them, and then commit never to losing your cool as a parent ever again, as losing your cool alone as a parent, in and of itself, is entitlement. This commandment goes without saying that spanking or punishment of children is prohibited in the Bible, as any punishment of a child both offends the child and comes from parent anger directed towards a child. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of pqtrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions onto children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The most common form of punishment meted out in the broader Greco-Roman world was an open-handed spanking to the bare bottom. The European pagans were brutal towards their children. However, Paul would have none of that pagan custom in the Early Christian Churches of God. Punitive parents were treated by the church authorities as church infiltrators, with the parent being excommunicated from the church whenever they defended their choice to spank or punish their children on church grounds. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!