Child discipline: How to discipline your child without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, most American parents think that discipline should come in the form of punishments or other punitive treatment of children. However, there is a proper way to discipline a child - catch them being good.

God's Law on child discipline is stated in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza here clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. A parent ideally should avoid offense in their child, meaning that parents should be willing to meaningfully apologize whenever they hurt their children's feelings. It is especially imperative that parents give a formal apology when they lose their cool with their child, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement. However, even refusing to apologize for upsetting your child is entitlement. This stanza of the commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The second stanza of this commandment spells out what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific type of nurturing, namely of the teaching type. Children were left to form their own discipline, and when they showed discipline, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for their children, but backed it up with praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment and force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is translated in more modern translations more aptly as "instruction". Religious instruction started at age 6, with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When fathers caught their children in the act of studying the Bible, he encouraged the religious development of his child, saying to his child something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being eager to learn about Scripture, with fathers giving pointers on the context. This nurture and instruction of the Lord was clearly understood then as the Hebraic tradition of positive reinforcement, with children being caught in the act of behaviors that their parents favored in their children, with the child then receiving praise and encouragement for showing favored behaviors. 

Sometimes, children need a little nudge to go the right way in terms of discipline. However, even a tiny nudge for children can hurt a child's feelings. Whenever a child is upset by a set limit, a parent should duly apologize to their child. However, a parent should not set limits out of anger, and if parents do lose their cool in this regard, they should both apologize and commit to never losing their cool with their child ever again. 

In the Early Church, mothers nurtured from up close, and fathers nurtured from afar. It is a myth that fathers in the Early Church sexually corrected their children. Instead, fathers masturbated righteously, meaning to sexual thoughts of daughters as opposed to pornography. Righteous masturbation is, masturbation in order to stay out of trouble, meaning for health reasons. From there, the father imprinted on his children, with his connotational attraction to his children helping him supervise his children more attentively.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!