"Benign deprivation": Why saying "no" to children "frequent and often" is child abuse

Many parents think children should be told "no" frequent and often. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that children need what is called benign deprivation. However, saying "no" too often is a form of child abuse. 

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, defended in open court out of entitlement. This commandment calls for parents to avoid offense in their children. However, the word "no" in and of itself upsets children, thus a parent should apologize whenever a child cannot except the word "no", thus avoiding offense in a child. But, if you lose your cool with your child when telling them "no", you should definitely give a formal apology, then committing to not losing your cool with your child ever again, with parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement. Child abuse is defined in the Bible as entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Christian parents in the Early Church said "no" to their children rarely, meaning almost never. Under customary law in the Early Church, parents could only tell their children "no" under certain specific circumstances, such as when children wanted something unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. Whenever a child could not accept the word "no", they were reassured by parents of their good intent, and also were given an explanation to the word "no". 

However, Christian parents in the Early Church rarely, if ever, told children a flat out "no". Usually, Christian parents then instead used nicer-sounding language instead of the word "no", such as statements along the line of "that can't happen", "that won't work", or "that isn't possible". In most cases, that sort of language is all that is needed to avoid hurt feelings in a child. Usually, parents only gave children a flat out "no" when their children were behaving in a sexually amoral fashion.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!