Wednesday, November 12, 2025

Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punishment or shaming

Many parents want their children to have values. This is a common goal amongst American parents. However, most American parents think that children need the "devil beaten out of them". But, the fact of the matter is that the right way to pass down the faith is without punitive measures.

God's Law on passing down the faith is spelled out in Ephesian 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord

The first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that religious instruction should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger. It is not enough to stop spanking or punishing children - you need to avoid offense in a child. Avoiding offense and apologizing for hurting children's feelings come hand in hand. Whenever you hurt your child's feelings, you should be willing to give a meaningful apology to your child. However, when you lose your cool with your child, you should be willing to give a formal apology, and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again. With that said, even refusing to apologize to your child for upsetting them is entitlement. This first stanza of the commandment ultimately means that you need to avoid offending your child in the course of instructing them in the Lord.

The second stanza of this commandment states exactly how to instruct your children in the Lord without punitive measures. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. Religious instruction in the Early Church started at around age 6. Fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, fathers praised and encouraged them lavishly, then saying to children "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children were eager to learn about Scripture, with fathers giving pointers as to the context. 

Religion is a human need for children and parents alike. Most children will naturally form a religion on their own. However, parents have leverage in dictating their children's religious beliefs. The idea is to leave out only a Bible if you are a Christian. But, they might find a different church than yours to attend. But, at least they have values.

Some Christian parents rush their children's religious development. One way this happens is parents insisting on grateful postures in their children. Grateful postures are instead something to spot in your child, as a means of taking their spiritual temperature. If your child shows grateful posture on their own, without parental input, they are in the right place spiritually. I myself tie my hands behind my back when out and about, in order to inform others that they are in the presence of the elect.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

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Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punishment or shaming

Many parents want their children to have values. This is a common goal amongst American parents. However, most American parents think that c...