Catching children being good: Understanding the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, most American parents equate discipline with punishment. With that said, the Christian standard of parenting involves positive reinforcement, meaning catching children being good. 

God's Law on child discipline is stated in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this verse clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including parent anger at a child. A parent should seek to avoid offense in children, meaning that they should avoid hurting their child's feelings, and when they do hurt their child emotionally, they should apologize for the hurt feelings. However, if you lose your cool with your child, you definitely need to give a formal apology, then commit never to lose your cool again, as losing your cool alone as a parent is entitlement. But, any time you refuse to apologize to a child that you upset, you are entitled. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translated to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

This second stanza of this verse clarifies for the first as to what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching type. Children growing up in the Early Church were left to form their own discipline, and when children showed discipline, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for their children to follow, but backed up their example with praise and encouragement, not punishment and force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is better translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible, and refers here to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for their children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement, with fathers saying to children something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. with children being eager to learn about Scripture, and with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This second stanza refers to the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement, which was practiced by Jews thousands of years before the coming of Christ.

Mothers nurture up close, with fathers instead nurturing from afar. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mom went, so did her child. When children turned age 6, they spent more time with their fathers for religious instruction. Fathers kept their respectful distance from children, as he had a sexual attachment to his children, especially his daughter. Fathers were never allowed sexual relations with children, and instead, they had to masturbate to sexual thoughts of their children. Mothers protected their young children from the sexual wrath of fathers for the first 6 years of childhood, when they needed it the most.

Spanking started out as a Greco-Roman pagan tradition. The most common form of punishment in Ancient Greece was a spanking to the bare bottom. However, punitive parents were treated by the Early Christians as church infiltrators, with the majority of the Early Christians instead practicing attachment parenting. Christian parents in the Early Church instead caught children being good. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!