Time-in: Why mammary closeness is the biblical way of doing time-in

Many parents have had to deal with the ups and downs of childhood. Most children are prone to temper tantrums, or at least crying fits. Crying is a normal and developmentally appropriate behavior in young children. Most parents punish or reprimand their children for crying or upsets, or else place them in time-out. The fact of the matter is that children need time-in, nor time-out, and need it the biblical way - mammary closeness.

Time-in is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.   

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mothers and children were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When children cried, mothers cooed as they responded to the cries and upsets of children, then holding their child next to their bosom in mammary closeness. Milk-dependent children were allowed to breastfeed during this time.

Mothers, when out and about in public, swaddled their young children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, perhaps breastfeeding in public if summoned to by their child. The child was then tucked underneath the backless dress that married women wore in biblical times. The swaddling blankets were made of velvet, which was grown throughout the Ancient Middle East. The swaddling blankets were tied to the left breast of the mother, then across the dot to the right leg of the mother. When young children cried in public, they were held closer to the mother's bosom, and perhaps allowed to suckle her teat if milk-hungry. 

In both public and private, mothers cooed to reassure and validate the upsets of children. Mothers cooed towards their children because that is what primate mothers, across species, do to comfort their young. It is a way of both comforting them and validating them, basically telling them that they are heard and they are safe with mom. Even in Early Christian homes, mothers cooed instead of punishing their children. Punishing or reprimanding children was a violation of church ordinance, and was seen as a provocation to anger - children were instructed in Sunday school to take offense whenever treated in an entitled way by adults.

Mammary closeness was ultimately, however, how Christian mothers in the Bible reassured and validated their children. A woman's breasts are not meant primarily for men to sexualize, but instead are meant to nurture children. For some reason, when children come into close contact with that part of the mother's body, they calm down immediately, and then they can be reasoned with. This ability for a mother's bosom to soothe a child lasts throughout childhood and even into young adulthood.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Discipline and limit setting in Christian homes: How to set limits with children (without punishment or force)

Many parents think that discipline is something imposed upon a child. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that imposed discipline, meaning punishment and reprimands, is how you discipline a child. Children in the Bible were sure disciplined, but not using punishments or reprimands. 

True discipline is imparted as a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children. obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: bur bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children within the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, with parents submitting to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished tbeir children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. 

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, as modeling Christian discipline for children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Parents in biblical times caught children being good, instead of catching them being bad. When children emulated the disciplined example of children - such as by showing self-control or giving up something they really wanted - they were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers to "keep going down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good, and girls were given physical affection such as hugs and snuggling when caught being good. Otherwise, children were given free reign in late childhood, and were held close in sustaining intimacy in their formative years. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents. "Advice and counsel" refers to advice from parents, or pleading from parents to do a favor for them. Parents were prohibited under the Law from issuing lawfully binding orders on their children, and so they could only give advice or else plead to their children.

It is a myth that discipline is something that is imposed on children through punishments or reprimands. Children do not learn through pain and aversive conditions. Children can mature entirely on their own, albeit guided by the Christian example of parents. Children, if allowed to, will absorb the disciplined example of parents at their own pace. Children will not grasp discipline right away, but they will eventually. Most childish and immature behavior is developmentally appropriate, and comes in the form of a stage that the child is going through. When childhood behaviors persist, autism or a related disorder may be to blame, not the child. 

How is a child motivated to learn discipline? Learning discipline is motivated by a secure attachment. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, meaning both mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin fashion. When children cried, mothers cooed, with the cooing of mothers being intended to both validate and reassure crying and upset, meaning cooing made children feel heard. When mothers were out and about in public, children were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, perhaps breastfeeding them in public if summoned to by their child. This sustaining warmth prepared children for following the disciplined example of fathers. Children past age 6 were very much disciplined and chastened up. Sometimes, fathers caught their children studying the Bible, and then they lavishly praised and encouraged the biblical self-study of children.

Children learned limits in biblical times by watching how their parents behaved, not by experiencing punishments or reprimands. When parents took up the Christian attitude that they were deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore were to be grateful for everything, they modeled that disciplined and chastened up attitude to their children. 

Punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children was prohibited under Early Christian church ordinance. Anything that offends or damages a child, coming from entitlement, is considered child abuse by the biblical standard. When a parent punished or reprimanded their child, and it was witnessed, the eyewitness rebuked the parent offender. When a parent offender was rebuked by enough parishioners, they went before a council of 3 elders, who excommunicated them if they did not repent and agree to turn away from offending their child. In the Old Testament, the rod of correction was only used on young adults when they committed clear elder abuse, and was only used a handful of times. The rod verses in Proverbs and Hebrews refer to the 40 minus 1 lashes, which were administered in a courtroom setting - only judicial corporal punishment existed in biblical times, and only before Christ. Punishing a minor child was always unlawful under the Old Testament law.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Respect: Why respect in parenting is earned

Many parents want to be respected. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, most American parents demand respect. Most American parents feel entitled to respect from their children, without doing anything to earn it. The fact of the matter is that, according to our founding Judeo-Christian values, everything in life is earned. That means that respect is something a parent earns, not something a parent demands in an entitled way. 

The Fifth Commandment commands that adult children pay homage to their parents for the good works their parents performed for them. The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children into the church. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. 

Respect for parents was a concept for children growing up in the Early Christian churches. But, the respect that parents wanted was not reverent respect, but closeness and intimacy. Children under age 6 were in constant closeness with mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Mothers of milk-dependent children breastfed their children. Mothers, when out and about in public, swaddled their young children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, perhaps breastfeeding them in public if summoned to by their milk-dependent child. When children cried, mothers cooed in order to reassure and validate their child's fears and upsets, making sure children felt heard. The closer a child was to parents, the more they respected their parents, by the standard of parents then. Parents in the Early Church indulged in constant closeness during the formative years of a child's life in order to win over their respect.

When children left the house, they bowed down before their parents and thanked them for raising them the right way, and pampering them so much as a child. This bowing down of children usually occurred at a baptism, where adult children were being baptized into the church. Respect for parents was something commanded only of adult children who left the house and were independent of their parents, and came in the form of reverent thanksgiving. Some children had abusive parents, in which case they shunned their parents and even sued them in court. The council in the Early Christian Churches of God often excommunicated parents who punished and abused their children.

Respect for parents, for a child, however, was simply surrendering into the loving arms of mothers, and entrusting yourself into her completely, knowing mom will be there for you throughout your childhood journey. Respect for parents, as a child, means resting securely in the love and submission of parents, which is a form of secure attachment. This secure attachment was fostered by parents by parents pampering children. This pampering is what adult children gave thanks to regarding their parents when moving out.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Abuse of pedophiles: Why a pedophile is an abused child

Many adults hate pedophiles. Most adults think a pedophile is the same thing as a child rapist. Most people believe that pedophiles are incapable of trauma. The fact of the matter is that a pedophile never forgets abuse from parents. Abuse of pedophiles is a form of religious child abuse in the form of sexual shaming abuse against pedophiles. The core of the victims of pedophile hysteria are children themselves.

What is pedophilia? Most people think that it is something hidden at a low level. The fact of the matter is that pedophilia is a form of immature autism where the age-oriented sexual preferences of the individual with autism correspond with the individual's immature developmental level. Most pedophiles have an autistic specialty in children in terms of knowledge or social skills, and their age-oriented sexual preferences reflect that. Most pedophilia is a humanizing attraction towards the child, meaning the pedophile views the child as a fellow human being, but with sexual connotations attached to the child. Pedophilia, in short, is the primary or exclusive sexual preference for children. If you don't have that sexual preference, you are not a pedophile. If you abuse while having that sexual preference, you don't deserve sympathy - you deserve prison. Pedophilia appears outwardly as a child-centered form of autism in most cases, usually with the autism having moderate severity. In most cases, this child-centered form of autism is rule-oriented, meaning a pedophile usually has a form of autism that sees the world in terms of laws and rules. 

Abuse of pedophiles is a form of sexual shaming abuse against pedophiles, with the pedophile, in most cases, being a child. The type of sexual shaming abuse that pedophilic children usually endure is lawful in nature, meaning most pedophiles are sexually shamed within the law, usually by spiritually abusive parents. In many other cases, however, pedophilic children are subject to corrective rape or sexual assault. 

There are many Bible passages that are misused in order to defend the "right" of parents to sexually shame their pedophilic children. One passage is Matthew 5:27-28 KJV:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman in order to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 

The Greek root word translated "lust" is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, or even sexual desire towards children. This word instead refers to sexual entitlement, with sexual entitlement being defined as, officially speaking, sexual want, to the point of sexually motivated approach outside of marriage. Righteous masturbation means for a pedophile that they indulge in masturbatory fantasies about children instead of approaching children for sexually motivated reasons. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that masturbation is this big sin. Instead, the Early Christians interpreted the Law in a manner saying that if a man approaches a child for sexual or flirtatious reasons, that it is as if he committed the sin in and of itself. Yet, many parents of pedophilic children still shame their children for indulging in masturbatory fantasy.

There are actually two groups of pedophiles at risk for abuse - children attracted to much younger children, and care-dependent adults attracted to children. Most abuse of pedophiles by parents and caregivers involves being forced to avoid masturbation, with the abusers usually citing religious reasons for doling out their abuse. Merely walking in on a pedophile masturbating is, in fact, abuse of pedophiles, and is not to be tolerated in any home or legal domicile where a pedophile lives. 

Most law enforcement agencies (LEAs) are ill-equipped to deal with abuse of pedophiles. Also, most abuse of pedophiles occurs within the law, meaning the "reasonable chastisement" defense protects most abuse of pedophiles, because it comes in the form of corporal punishment usually when abuse of pedophiles is a form of child abuse. Usually, the police only become relevant when abuse of pedophiles comes in the form of corrective rape or sexual assault, in which case the victim sides with the abuser out of self-hatred. Pedophile self-hatred is one where you lump yourself in with adults who rape and sexually assault children, and believe falsely that you could somehow end up like them. All LEAs who have heard out abuse of pedophiles cases to the fullest have turned pro-pedophile.

Pedophile self-hatred and abuse of pedophiles go hand in hand, meaning one leads to the other. Most pedophiles hate themselves because they had sexually shaming parents that hated them. Most parents can tell that their children are attracted to much younger children by things such as where the child looks, in relation to when they masturbate.

Pedophiles, from early on, need a support system to talk to. I myself am a pedophile, and am fortunate enough to have a mother and a therapist to talk to. As soon as I self-diagnosed myself as a pedophile, I disclosed to my mother. The only stigma I got from disclosing to others was that I wasn't believed, meaning people did not want to attach such a stigmatizing label to me. I currently do not fit the diagnostic criteria for pedophilic disorder, as it does not affect my life negatively, and I am not acting on my desires. If I ever find myself approaching young girls like I have in the past, that constitutes a mental illness to me, and I want to be officially diagnosed as soon as that obsessive behavior appears. I don't mean well in relation to children as a pedophile, and I don't pretend to, but I am grateful that I have people listening to me. I don't deserve to be accepted by others, but I guess I have earned it, as most people in my life accept me despite having that disorder. I turned myself in. I just want someone to be there with unconditional love when a child turns themselves in to their parents for being a pedophile. I want every pedophile to have the same acceptance I received when I turned myself in. I owe many thanks to all that have helped me through this journey. 

For most pedophiles, the only hurdle is accepting themselves. Most pedophiles have to accept themselves due to also being survivors of child abuse. I am the rare pedophile that has a sexual harassment problem. Most pedophiles simply hate themselves, and if they try to repress their sexual fantasies, they may come out sideways onto a child. Most pedophiles are more the victim than the perpetrator. We all as adults pose some risk to children, but pedophiles actually pose a lesser risk to children than an ordinary adult. Most adults are blissfully unaware of their sexual drive for children - which all adults have - but pedophiles are blatantly and painfully aware that they are attracted to children. All most pedophiles need to know that it is normal. 

You can tell if a pedophile is an abuser by their disclosure. Most pedophilic children disclose tearfully to their parents. I didn't. I disclosed in a tone-deaf type of way, meaning I literally didn't understand the gravity of that label. I am what they call an obvious abuser, meaning that in the past, I was obvious about my sexual harassment habit towards children that took the form of pedophilia. Most pedophiles don't react that way to the realization that they are a pedophile. I was obsessed with my self-diagnosis ("I'm officially nuts"), and then to the child I was attracted to. I parentified children, meaning I put young girls in the role of babysitter, and wanted them to tend to me like they were my mother. The obsessing about specific children was what was the mental disorder for me. 

The depraved and decadent parents who provoke their pedophilic children to anger through sexual shaming abuse will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them descend into torrents of Hell-fire! Repent!

Separation anxiety: The source of cries "out of nowhere" (and what to do about them)

Many parents have come across this dilemma. A child is crying, and there is no apparent reason for the crying. This is a common emotional display in children. Most parents who have a child cry out of nowhere punish their child in some way. The fact of the matter is that there often is a very specific reason why a child cries, and it isn't to undermine you. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage for children aged 0-6. Mothers in the Bible comforted their children with separation anxiety, and allowed their children to experience the full stage of separation anxiety in child development.

Separation anxiety is reassured by the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of child development for children aged 0-6. When a baby cries for seemingly no reason, the infant is deathly afraid of his/her mother "going away and never coming back". This is a common fear for most children under age 6. This is often why children cry for no apparent reason - they want YOU, and they are worried about your safety. 

Mothers solved the problem of separation anxiety with closeness and intimacy. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, with mother and child in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup was what brought out raw separation anxiety in children.

Mothers responded to cries of separation anxiety by cooing towards their child. Cooing is a natural sound humans and other primates make to reassure their young, and also validate their upset. Mothers and fathers both in biblical times cooed when a child cried, in order to both validate and reassure the upset in children. Cooing, in fact, was part of the customary law that guided parenting in the days of the Early Church, and is lifted up today in certain passages in the Bible. See also Eph. 6:1-4.

Young children usually cry out of nowhere because they have separation anxiety towards their parents, in most cases primarily their mother. The cries are intended by nature to call the mother back to the child when she strays out of sight. It is, technically speaking, attention-seeking behavior, but a child who is seeking attention needs attention.

Punishing or reprimanding a child for crying out of nowhere is, in fact, a violation of Christian law. Anything that the child perceives as offensive or damaging, coming from entitlement, is child abuse by the biblical standard. In the Early Church, a punitive parent would have been summarily excommunicated after many rebukes from fellow parishioners. Basically, any forceful treatment of a child by a parent is parental entitlement, and when the child shows offense or is injured or damaged in some way, child abuse.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Change of heart: How to effect a change of heart in a child (without punishment or force)

Many parents want it in their children. For most American parents, the goal of parenting is a change of heart. This is a common goal in parenting. Most children's rights advocates will tell you that children don't need a change of heart. In today's society, all children need a change of heart, if not only to be saved Christians. For most children, the change of heart needed is growing up. Growing up means not being so entitled. There are better ways to teach children non-entitlement, and effect a change of heart in them, than to punish or reprimand them. 

Change of heart, as a lesson, is taught by way of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV: 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Chirstian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, instead of being caught being bad. Whenever a child behaved in a non-entitled way, such as by showing self-control or giving up something they really wanted, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep going down the straight path". Fathers were traditionally charged with meting out praise and encouragement for children. Boys were given manly praise whenever they were caught being good, and girls were given physical affection such as hugs and snuggling when caught being good. Children otherwise were given free reign in late childhood, and intense closeness in their formative years (meaning until age 6). Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to direct parental instruction. This came either in the form of advice or pleading. Parents were forbidden by Law from issuing lawfully binding orders, and so children could refuse the advice and counsel of parents at any time.

Children, like all human beings, are sinful creatures, and have a depraved and decadent sinful nature. This is not up for debate. But, children are capable of having a change of heart entirely on their own, when guided by the disciplined Christian example of their parents. The first step to effecting a change of heart in your child is effecting a change of heart in yourself. This means YOU need to be convicted of the fact that YOU are a depraved and decadent sinner, who is deserving of absolutely nothing. Knowing that you are deserving of absolutely nothing makes you grateful for absolutely everything, which makes you a happier person. Children will see you doing this good work on yourself, and will want to copy your self-improvement, just to be like dad. 

What ultimately motivates a change of heart? Children will follow the Christian example of parents when they have a secure attachment with their parents. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. Mother and child were in a state of birth nudity, with mother and child in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup brought out raw separation anxiety in children, where children were morbidly afraid of mom "going away and never coming back". Mothers accommodated the cries of separation anxiety in their children by cooing to validate their fears and reassure them at the same time. Children were then held and co-snuggled to reassure them that mom isn't going anywhere. Older children were instructed by their father in the chastening of the Lord, but they were by self-study on the part of the child that was lovingly encouraged by fathers. Fathers masturbated to sexual thoughts of their children in order to form a close bond with their children, enough that children would want to follow their advice.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

Independence: Why the goal of parenting should be independence (not obedience)

Many parents think that the goal of parenting is to get children to be obedient. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents want their children to comply, and a big part of parenting in many homes is getting children to comply. The fact of the matter is that children instead need to be taught to be independent and self-reliant, as parents won't be around forever. The first step to healthy independence is healthy dependence. 

Healthy dependence is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers are to rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children in biblical times were not expected to obey parents and other adults. Children were instead encouraged to be independent, meaning parents wanted their children to grow up to be as independent as possible from parents. In order for this to occur, parents then knew that children needed a period of healthy dependence on parents. The more dependent a child was on their mother at a young age, the more independent they would become at an older age. 

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. Mother and child were in a state of birth nudity, with mother and child being in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup brought out raw separation anxiety in children, where children were deathly afraid of mothers "going away and never coming back". Mothers accommodated the cries of separation anxiety in children by reassuring children, in so many words, that "I am here, and I'm not going anywhere". Mothers cooed when children cried in order to validate the cries of children, and make sure children knew that they were heard.

Children, after turning age 6, started to assert their independence quite a bit more, insisting on doing things themselves, offering to help out when parents are doing chores around the house. Children in biblical times played freely, venturing farther and farther from home. Children, during this time, asserted themselves to their parents by ordering them around. Parents obeyed the orders of children, struck with reverent fear and terror. Parents rarely said "no" to the righteous demands of children, and when they did, they comforted and reassured any upset in children. 

Children become independent from parents earlier when allowed healthy dependence to parents. This means mothers should nurture their children up close, in a sustaining way, when children are under age 6. This puts the gasoline in the tank for your child's roadtrip to becoming independent. This charges up the child to reverently rebel against parents, and assert their independence later. Chances are, if you follow the Christian attachment parenting route I delineate here, your children should be ready for the real world by the teenage years. That is why the age of majority was 13 in the Early Church - children were developmentally ready to take on adulthood responsibilities by then. 

Punishments and reprimands are forced dependence. They stunt the development of children, and make them dependent on parents longer. They force children into structure that may not be there when they are older. It's nice to have a quiet and obedient child for parents, but parents aren't going to be around forever. Children need to learn to step up to the plate and assert their independence. Healthy dependence during the formative years sets this all in motion. When you punish or reprimand a child, you make them dependent on that kind of treatment, and then they can't do things on their own. That's why today's generation is living with their parents - they didn't get the healthy dependence that they needed at an early age. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's  Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!