Separation anxiety: The source of cries "out of nowhere" (and what to do about them)

Many parents have come across this dilemma. A child is crying, and there is no apparent reason for the crying. This is a common emotional display in children. Most parents who have a child cry out of nowhere punish their child in some way. The fact of the matter is that there often is a very specific reason why a child cries, and it isn't to undermine you. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage for children aged 0-6. Mothers in the Bible comforted their children with separation anxiety, and allowed their children to experience the full stage of separation anxiety in child development.

Separation anxiety is reassured by the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of child development for children aged 0-6. When a baby cries for seemingly no reason, the infant is deathly afraid of his/her mother "going away and never coming back". This is a common fear for most children under age 6. This is often why children cry for no apparent reason - they want YOU, and they are worried about your safety. 

Mothers solved the problem of separation anxiety with closeness and intimacy. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, with mother and child in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup was what brought out raw separation anxiety in children.

Mothers responded to cries of separation anxiety by cooing towards their child. Cooing is a natural sound humans and other primates make to reassure their young, and also validate their upset. Mothers and fathers both in biblical times cooed when a child cried, in order to both validate and reassure the upset in children. Cooing, in fact, was part of the customary law that guided parenting in the days of the Early Church, and is lifted up today in certain passages in the Bible. See also Eph. 6:1-4.

Young children usually cry out of nowhere because they have separation anxiety towards their parents, in most cases primarily their mother. The cries are intended by nature to call the mother back to the child when she strays out of sight. It is, technically speaking, attention-seeking behavior, but a child who is seeking attention needs attention.

Punishing or reprimanding a child for crying out of nowhere is, in fact, a violation of Christian law. Anything that the child perceives as offensive or damaging, coming from entitlement, is child abuse by the biblical standard. In the Early Church, a punitive parent would have been summarily excommunicated after many rebukes from fellow parishioners. Basically, any forceful treatment of a child by a parent is parental entitlement, and when the child shows offense or is injured or damaged in some way, child abuse.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!