How to deal with defiance in children

Many parents have a child who likes to talk back a lot, and maybe pick fights with parents. Many think this is a bad behavior. It can be, but not on the child's part. Defiance is a common child behavior when they feel controlled or cornered. Or, defiance can be seen as a mental illness.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and literally translates to "listen under". It was secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, being able to tell parents anything, or talk to them about anything, fearing no punishment from parents, owing nothing in return to parents, yet being convicted nonetheless to listen to and heed instruction from parents, not out of fear, but out of blind trust stemming from good works from parents, rooted in Christian non-entitlement values. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses in the Bible, namely the torts and damages under the Law linked to the Eighth Commandment. In the New Testament, it is summed up as the slightest of personal slights perceived by the child, and could include corporal punishment. One form of personal slight was the slightest of personal touch perceived by the child without consent. Verbal abuse was also banned, meaning the slightest of insult perceived by the child. Ultimately, any punishment of children was entitlement leading to theft, meaning abuse.

This was intended by the Apostle Paul as a warning about strict treatment of children. Defiance was seen then as like a mirror of the parent's attitudes towards the child, in bystander format. From the parent's view, it was seen as your own anger and demons flaming back of you, in a convicting way. Children, particularly one's own, in the Early Christian church, were seen as convicting figures, in a vulnerable way, where adults are struck with reverent fear and terror to provide for the child's every need, including every attachment need. Thus, when a child was defiant, it was seen as the child wasn't getting what he/she needed in terms of attachment needs such as spending time with children, taking walks, and reading Scripture together with children. Attachment needs are shattered by any sort of punishment or harsh treatment, and then cause children to avenge the aggression back to parents. This the first time you have gotten off of the gentle parenting path.

This mirror effect is more obvious in children with certain behavioral disabilities, such as autism, ADHD, or bipolar disorder. Children with autism in particular are mimickers of adult behavior, and have a sense of understandable vengeance where they throw your anger and punishment of them right back at the parent. Children can be vengeful, but the have a right to be, because they are trying to communicate to you something with their vengeance - "I hate how you are treating me". In ancient Hebrew culture, that sort of defiance would have caused a father to freeze, and then to do some soul searching as to why his child just went off on him, and basically shouted a whole bunch of obscenities at him. A good parent then blamed themselves first, then others.

If simply spending time with parents and other methods of building attachment didn't work, then the child needs medication to stymy the aggressive or defiant behaviors. Oppositional defiant disorder is usually linked to a mood disorder, and putting the mood disorder in remission through medication will shut down the ODD as well, making the child not defiant at all, Usually, when put on the right medication, the child takes ownership for past mistakes, and is embarrassed concerning the things they did in the past, or perhaps simply deems them wrong in an open and honest way. Medication should be a last resort by default, but with certain disorders, such as bipolar disorder, the treatment requires medication first, and then, only then, will they be open to advice from a therapist.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them BURN in ever-burning fire and brimstone! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Why "dress policing" is sin

Many parents out there who have a daughter want her to dress "modestly", not understanding what modesty is. They sexualize the concept of modesty, whereas modesty is not reliant on the sexualizing nature of anyone's choice of garb.

The Tenth Commandment, in Exodus 20:17, states:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

The Hebrew word translated "covet" is למחוד (Latin: lachmod) and refers to, in terms of adult sexual entitlement, not simply wanting things from a child, but wanting things from them to the point of seeking to impose said want on them, leading to theft/abuse. Abuse is whatever the victim perceives as such, regardless of age. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, and this meant feeling safe in various stages of undress, many times, in gentle parenting homes, down to full nudity. Punishing this nudity within a family home is a violation of Divine Codified Jurisprudence. The Greek root word translates "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and is one of the Greek root words in the New Testament that refers to the offenses, meaning the torts and damages under the Mosaic Law, as summed up under the New Testament teachings as the slightest of personal slight against a child, and/or her papers or effects. Policing dress is beyond the authority of any parent to set limits about, as abusing or controlling children for a choice to dress in a showy manner is abuse. A young girl has the  right to roam the house completely naked, and no adult in the house has the right to take advantage of the situation.

It says in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 KJV:

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves with modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. But (which becometh women respecting godliness) with good works.

This refers to a specific setting - Sunday mass. Women, however, in general, were encouraged not to wear expensive clothing, and instead look plain. However, it was not a man tenet of the church then, and the biblical writers were comfortable with sexual descriptions enough that this would be a sexually laced command if it taught about "covering up lest you incur the lusts of men". Basically, the more expensive your clothing, the more immodest you are, regardless of how much skin is covered up. This commandment did not apply to a family, where wives and children especially wore no clothing at all, and the wife rarely left the house. Think a dress that fits on quickly on a hanger, to just throw on quickly while going out and about with the child. The climate in ancient Israel could get very hot, or very cold, so people dressed accordingly, but there was heat in homes, usually from burning wood.

Modesty wasn't avoiding the natural appearance of the body, but embracing it in an appropriate manner, meaning being free with one's body in a home setting, while wearing plain clothes that don't stand out, brag about class, or are offensive. Modesty was about simply throwing on clothes, and not caring about impressing anyone, as this alone is bragging or entitlement. The best thing to do here is to, yes, just throw on clothes that fit your personal style, as an instant choice. If you are trying to be somebody else with your flashy clothing, that is immodesty. But, even then, this is not a huge command, and simply is a poor statement about yourself as an individual to God. He includes it in the judgment, but it isn't a dealbreaker. Also, certain functions demand fancy clothing, such as dresses and tuxedoes, in which case it is acceptable to dress that way because of the nature of the occasion. Dress to the level appropriate for the venue, and you should be good, but do so in a plain way that does not stand out.

Who is supposed to dress the police of children, namely daughters? Daughters themselves. Children themselves. Parents only when asked "should I wear this?". Plunging neck lines? Short skirts?  Bikinis? Those outfits actually aren't sin if they are the cheap kind you might find at Wal-Mart. Adults are solely responsible for their behavior around a child dressed in showy attire, and if the child at all perceives abuse from them by feeling uncomfortable, unsafe, annoyed, or alarmed, the adult perpetrator and him/her alone is abuse. Children should not be told to "cover up" at home. Perhaps in public, if they have poor social skills to that degree, they should be told to cover up for the sake of the civil authorities. In a private home, anything goes pretty much, and if an adult exploits a child's state of undress, it is their fault, not the child's fault for not "covering up". Nudity in the biblical context was seen as vulnerability, meaning a vulnerability you hide behind closed doors. 

The sexually entitled parents who police the dress of children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them languish in eternal Hell-fire prepared for Satan and his accomplices. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: Apologies

 I am aware that a mother and daughter feel targeted by what they are told about my posts. As of late, I started echoing out my plans to hang out and be friends with children at a neutral location.

If this is menacing, I do apologize, as I had no intent to harass or upset them. I do respect such concerns coming from both of them, meaning they believed that they were in danger. 

If I were in any child's presence, I'd leave them alone, and wait for them to speak. If they don't speak to me, I assume they want to be left alone completely. With some forms of autism, simply being around someone you are attracted to is enough, and I have that type of autism. If she finds this sort of setup to be threatening, she can reverse the order against me. She doesn't have to like me or feel safe around me, as I do not give orders to children.

I have no plans to visit. I did make a statement that I simply knew the house number still, and drove NEAR there, but at the top of the hill. I made that to answer to the court concerning my capacity for self-control. An impulsive version of me would simply blurt to mom "Kaylee lives down that road, can we go there, pretty please". But, as a conviction, I do not visit places without an invitation, perhaps a phone call or something. If Kaylee forgives me, I can understand, in her case. Otherwise, I still believe I was born in an evil nature.

I did, in fact, make a statement cancelling about a restraining order deeming Kaylee Geissler falsely as the perpetrator. I do not feel threatened by her, at all, and I am LIVID that she is even seen as an abuser at all at her age.

Why parents were born in original sin

 The teaching of original sin is one of the most misunderstood teachings in the Christian faith. Many parents believe in "breaking their will" or some analogous, pseudo-scientific concept. However, pro-social V is for parents, not children.

It says in Exodus 20:17 KJV:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, not his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor.

This commandment is the most important commandment in the Christian faith, and all other sins are linked to entitlement, with the Hebrew word למחוד (Latin: lachmod) and refers to not merely wanting things from a child, but wanting things to the point of seeking to impose said item onto a child, leading to theft/abuse. This commandment is cross-referenced in the New Testament by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, in general terms, man's depraved and entitled nature, meaning the attitude of "I am a good person/adult" leading to demanding things from others, and controlling others, or else harassing or begging others. 

Children in the Bible, though having an entitled nature themselves technically literally, are exempt from prosecution. It says in John 7:24 KJV:

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

The Greek root word translated "judge" and "judgment" is κρινο (Latin: krino) and refers to the courtroom judgment at the time, which, for adults, presumed innocence beyond a reasonable doubt, and for children, innocence from any culpability whatsoever, meaning children are not guilty of anything just for being children.

This is further detailed in passages concerning mutual submission between parents and children. It says in Ephesians 6:1-3 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and safety in the love and grace of parents, being able to confide anything into parents, being friends to parents, owing nothing in return, but showing respect and listening to parents due to gratitude that parents don't punish or control their children. The Fifth Commandment referred to here in the Old Testament was a step up from Canaanite custom, which involved parents sacrificing and killing their own rebellious children, thus giving children personhood, and at the same time banning any abuse by parents.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, namely punishment and reward of one's own parental behavior as self-behaviorism, in a way that allows room for a child to confide tears and upset into parents, modeling self-control and self-discipline to a child, with this being known as co-regulation. It is a teaching tool where you teach children by example lessons about the world, as well as religious instruction if they are willing. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the admonition of the Lord, meaning the word "no" or its various variants as setting limits and boundaries with children. This is weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργιζο (Latin: parorgizo) and is one of the Greek words that refers to the offenses, meaning in the case of the Old Testament legal context torts and damages linked to the Eighth Commandment. In the New Testament, this refers to the slightest of personal slights perceived by a child, coming from willful or negligent intent to control, punish, manipulate, or spousify/objectify the child.

Parents in ancient Jewish culture were attachment parents, by norm and by custom. Children remained close to their parents, with methods such as co-sleeping and carrying children on the mother's back being the norm. Parents charred themselves by being convicted in being servants to their children, and not wielding power and control over minor children at all, and adult children only in the realm of criminal trials, where fathers were used as a vehicle of justice for rebellious or delinquent sons, and that's why fathers gave sons 40 minus 1 lashes in the courtroom, meaning never at home. Whipping or punishing a child in any way was illegal, and not the norm. Assault and battery laws existed then, and those prohibited the slightest of touch without the child's consent. The mother could also step in and protect the child from being battered by a parent, and in the Early Christian context, had the right of divorce from a man, whereas men who have a wife they can't handle shouldn't have married her in the first place, because now he's stuck with her, and though wife-spanking was allowed then, it was seen as a sign of weakness in a man, as a non-violent man was in control, and thus a real man, as was an abstinent man of any type, including one that abstained from abusing children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them languish in eternal Hell-fire and torment! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Master plan for criminalizing domestic battery against children

Many parents spank and otherwise punish their children, with 94% of parents spanking and physically battery. This is an national emergency, with children being abused and oppressed like no other group of people. How do we end this? The answer is unity leading to division.

Society in the United States is highly influenced by the church, meaning the main organized body of the Christian faith. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judaeo-Christian values. The American church consists of a plethora of denominations, with the general Christian values espoused being our core values and norms as a country.

Denominational tenets today, on children's rights issues, serve as a fan from beneath, meaning we don't discuss our individual denominational views as conservatives or Christians in general as Americans, but speak in terms of general values. Part of those values, in future tense, is no spanking.

All punishment of children is banned under Christian law, with God calling for a certain order of the family, God's order of the family. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your children in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and security in the love and grace of parents in the form of providing custody, receiving everything they need, being able to tell parents anything and not expect punishment, owing absolutely nothing to parents, yet listening to parents nonetheless as a token of gratitude for respectful and loving treatment. Love is a form of sacrifice for children, just as Christ sacrificed Himself for His own children, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Parents are entitled to nothing from children. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and is one of the Greek words that, here, refers to the offenses in under the Mosaic Law, which include here assault and battery in the Old Testament law, and are summed up in the New Testament as the slightest of personal slights against your child inflicted in a willful or negligent manner, with parental entitlement here being denoted by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to wanting things from children to the point of seeking to impose want on a child, leading to theft/abuse as referred to as a provocation to anger. Parenting in ancient Hebrew culture, like many ancient cultures, endorsed attachment parenting as a normative mode of parenting. Children were close to mothers especially until late childhood, and attachment parenting methods such as co-sleeping

This theology can be incorporated into any Christian theology. There is progress being made with several churches, such as the United Methodist Church and the Church of God positing statements against the corporal punishment children, with the Church of God being a moderate, Calvinistic organization (my theology is Calvinistic). Several fundamentalist churches, such as the Watchtower Society and Adventist Church, have removed ordinances mandating the use of corporal punishment, as have many Anabaptist denominations, while these churches still don't prohibit corporal punishment, and many pastors still preach it. There is also certain awareness in conservative Christian churches about the concept of a "prodigal son", by their understanding, which is a child with special needs to the point where they are extremely oppositional and defiant, in which case the advice is to give them less structure, so that they have less triggers for upsets or defiance. This can mean do not overschedule them at all. These denominations do not understand that all children work like that, meaning all children need to be cut a break. This denominational tenet allows for parents of children with disorders such as autism, ADHD, or ODD to refrain from punitive practices, with many regarding punishing a child with autism to be overly harsh and abuse due to the autism itself. We at gentle parenting find that children with autism are not too different from other children, so don't punish any child. Churches, due to taking in children with special needs, with that issue being made more aware to pastors and church counselors. Certain children do not respond to spanking at all, whereas others "fake it to make it", and I was one of them.

The awareness of the harm of punitive parenting is reaching the Christian churches here in the United States, and once the church is reformed from within, and then the church will reform society from without. Certain historical injustices, such as slavery and Jim Crow, were backed up by religion, and discredited by religious teaching. The oppression against children in the United States is extreme. Go to any children's rights country and you'll get the idea - I was in Iceland just to get away from the riff-raff in America. My goal is "rally around the flag" type children's rights, meaning it fits right in with our culture, meaning our core Judaeo-Christian family values. The core religious values of this country are based on original sin. Original sin, in the realm of family life, has long been used to single out children. The idea behind children's rights is to flip the scripts on parents and other adults, as every single adult is guilty for their mere existence in relation to children, and must atone for all their abuse and sin that they direct towards children.

Let the depraved and entitled parents BURN! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Why it is not sin for a child to cry

Many parents abuse their children, including 94% of parents physically battering their children as punishment. What seems to be the most common reason? Crying. Crying "about spilled milk". Now, I am, in fact, conservative, and so I am non-entitled enough not to cry, but maybe whine when cornered by an abuser. I am hardened to anything, but a child isn't. I clearly see that due to the immature and egalitarian nature of my parent. Most parents with my conditioning, which is rough and tough, but appears quiet and peaceful, have trouble empathizing with their children due to this hardened conditioning. For me, it melts, and it does for any gentle parenting conservative.

It says in John 11:35 KJV:

Jesus wept.

This was, yes, concerning the death of a brother, but the fact that this is even included in the Bible meant that because Christ cried, so can a child. Biblical masculinity, in context, is different from modern masculinity involving "the real man" who picks up girls and wins as many fist fights as possible. This was a very centered man in the Early Church, who was expected to follow the example of Christ. This is noted as the chastening of the Lord, and is referred to throughout the New Testament as παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to discipline, meaning self-control and self-discipline. This was not a denial of feelings, but a centering of them, while aware of every emotion. Mere thoughts then were not healthy, per se, if they involved harming others, but only visible intent was prosecuted. All crimes had to be visible.

Crying was acceptable then, as the Early Christians used vulnerability gaslighting against their enemies who attacked, crying and hoping God saw how their persecutors and attackers took advantage of their vulnerability. Especially the men, who otherwise were very quiet and centered in their demeanor.

Punishing a child for crying is sin, in and of itself, and was then. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, being able to tell or confide in parents about anything, owing nothing in return to parents, but nonetheless showing gratitude for kindness by listening to parents. This sort of surrender to parents means that children can feel safe to cry in the presence of parents. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stir up" and refers to the offenses, meaning torts and damages under biblical law, and is summed up in the New Testament. Guilty intent (mens rea) leads to/is guided by guilty action, with the guilty action (actus reus) being the offense perceived by the child, which guides the intent until questioned by a plaintiff in an exchange. The way to show intent that is not guilty is to reassure and validate the child's feelings, like a sounding board, thus showing no intent to offend a child either out of willfulness or negligence. Just leaving a child cry is abuse, and defending any dismissiveness towards a child's feelings is entitlement.

Ancient Hebrew culture was an attachment parenting society, meaning children were close to parents, especially mothers. Co-sleeping was the norm then, as was other bonding techniques with children, including holding a child on the back of the mother, perhaps as she's out and about in public venues. Punishment was illegal then except as a sentence for a crime, and only towards legal adults. This legal context applies today, and apart from a courtroom, assault and battery was an offense under the biblical offenses, which are linked to the Eighth Commandment.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hands! Let them BURN! Let them suffer and languish in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which descends in a never ending manner! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

Pro-social self-crucifixion - The biblical way to parent a child

Many parents abuse their children in the United States, meaning most parents. 94% of parents have physically battered their children, with 70% of adults supporting lawful corporal punishment of children. Most parents get their parenting advice from religious sources, not scientific ones, and such false teachers preach that parents punish and control their children. However, the true teaching is that parents control themselves, to the point of sacrifice.

The Greek root word denoting love in the New Testament is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to submission by all adults to children as their enemy, just as mankind is the enemy of God, submitting to Him accordingly, with the child as in place of God.

The idea is to sacrifice for your child in the way Christ sacrificed for His children, giving Himself up for His children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, as any good, gentle parent should do. Parents should render themselves below a child, serving them from a lowly, convicted place, being their indentured servant paying penance for being an adult. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and literally translates to "listen under", and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in parents, with children being able to be themselves and say whatever they want to parents, fearing no punishment or control from parents, owing nothing in return to parents, but nonetheless being convicted to heed parental instruction as a reward for love and respect from children. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: hupakouo) and literally translates to "stir up" and refers to the offenses, meaning torts and damages under Jewish law included under the Eighth Commandment, with said damages being summed up in the New Testament as the slightest of personal slights perceived by the child viscerally, coming from any parental entitlement. Parental entitlement is referred to by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to wanting something from a child, perhaps to do something, to the point of imposing said want onto a child, leading to the relevant offense.

Parents are to crucify themselves in relation to their child, taking a selfless attitude towards their children. Parents are to totally submit to their child, leading to total acceptance of said child, with the child guiding the parent to what they need.

Let the parents burn in the lake of fire and brimstone, as punitive parenting should not exist, and anyone who identifies by punitive parenting should not exist, yet because murder is wrong, they should only exist within a prison cell at the state correctional institute. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!