Child discipline: How to discipline your child without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most America parents want their children to have discipline. However, most parents equate discipline and punishment. But, the fact of the matter is that there are better ways to discipline your child than with punishment.

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The first stanza of this commandment states that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings in children where the parents refuse to apologize for said hurt feelings. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits  you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza was ultimately received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings  Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The second stanza of this commandment spells out  what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific type of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Starting at age 6, Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in children, in most cases consisting of self-discipline or self-control. Whenever children showed preferred behaviors, they were given lavish praise and encouragement for more of the same. Christian parents in the Early Church imparted a non-entitled example for children to emulate, with this example being backed up with praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment or shaming. Children also need religious instruction, with religion being a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible, with this instruction namely referring to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore, with the Bible left open to a reassuring passage (such as the Beatitudes). When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep on studying, with fathers then interjecting something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children were curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. 

At some point, children are bound to get into mischief. An example of this mischief is them showing you their artwork as drawn on the wall. The idea is to laugh with your child as they get into mischief. The idea is to get a good laugh at your child's graffiti, and then clean it up later. Don't make children clean up messes. YOU clean it up. Laughing at childhood mischief constitutes the acronym of righteous laughter. 

Sometimes, a parent needs to set limits. However, children accepting limits is another story. Whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your limits, you need to apologize. If you are angry in the process, you definitely need to formally apologize for hurting children's feelings with your anger. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!