Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents think that the Bible allows for, or even commands, the use of force in parenting. This is a common attitude towards children amongst American parents. Most American parents and pastors cite 5 verses in Proverbs, and 1 passage in Hebrews, as their "proof" that spanking is biblical. The core passage in the New Testament used for pro-spanking purposes is Heb. 12:5-6. However, the argument concerning Heb. 12:5-6 sits on shaky ground. Heb. 12:5-6 refers to enduring hardship, not an earthly parent punishing his/her child. 

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

When understood properly, this passage is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαπτιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, as si the case here. This sort of metaphor was known as rod language. If a Christian had a long day at work in biblical times, he instead said "God whipped me hard today". God obviously does not come down from the Heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of His children that He cherishes the most. However, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does, in fact, harm them. This passage was intended as reassurance for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome. 

The teaching of "biblical spanking" is a man-made teaching. God does not want earthly parents to use His Parenting methods, as we as human beings could get it wrong. However, the Bible does touch on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing them altogether for that reason. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating as "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting any offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law. but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The staple punishment jn the broader Greco-Roman world was a spanking to the bare bottom with an open hand. However, the Early Christians shunned such parenting as of this world. However, some church infiltrators got into the Early Christian churches. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw, and sent commandments to the parishes at Colossae and Ephesus prohinting even offending your child at minimum. 

It is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into Rome. The Eaely Christians instead lived in urban enclaves in big cities, shunning the outside Greco-Roman world, and the outside world at large. The Early Christians had their own court sysrem, their own customs, and their own cuisine. The Early Christians had a culture of their own, aparr from broader Greco-Roman culture. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!