Many parents believe that the Bible commands spanking and other forms of punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents cite a group of passages in Proverbs and one passage in Hebrews as their so-called "proof" that God is pro-spanking. However, the key passage for pro-spanking advocates is the passage in Hebrews 12:5-8 sits on shaky ground, and ultimately has nothing to do with earthly parenting.
God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:
And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
When interpreted correctly, this passage is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it. Ultimately, this word is a metaphor for trials and tribulations sent the way of the believer. This type of metaphor is considered rod language. Instead of saying "I had a long day at work", you said "God whipped me hard today", God punishes His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of the believer. However, God only punishes His children when it doe nor harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does harm them. This passage was intended by the Apostle Paul to reassure the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.
God does not want His Parenting methods to be used by earthly parents, as earthly parents would get it wrong and cause harm to children. Heb. 12:5-6 does not talk about earthly parenting. However, God des weigh in on the spanking issue, as well as proper parenting in general. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking or punishing children - you need to avoid offense in a child. Hurt feelings in children are inevitable in parenting. The key to avoiding offense in children is to be willing to apologize whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from a parent. However, if you ever lose your cool as a parent, you need to give a formal apology to your child, and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool as a parent, in and of itself, is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
A common punishment in Ancient Greece for children was a spanking to the bare bottom. Spanking originated as a pagan form of behavioral modification in children. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw as a deacon. When Rome took over, those customs were absorbed into the Roman Catholic Church, and that's where we get the concept of spanking from.
Not only was spanking banned in the Early Church, but so was any parent anger directed towards a child. Parenting then was not motivated by anger, but instead was motivated by worry or concern. Any parent anger directed towards a child was seen then as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let then be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
