Back talk: Why to apologize to your child when they talk back

Many parents think that children talk back in order to "undermine parental authority". Back talk is a common motive behind punishment in many cases. However, the fact of the matter is that back talk instead happens when a child cannot accept a set limit. Refusal to apologize to a defiant child is child abuse.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. In order to not abuse your child, you need to avoid offense in children. However, since hurting children's feelings is inevitable in parenting, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. One expression of hurt feelings in children when their feelings are hurt is back talk. Back talk comes from a child that is unable to accept a set limit. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent from parents. However, if you ever set a limit out of anger or haste, you definitely need to apologize for losing your cool as a parent, and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool when setting limits alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, and is translated roughly to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishing children. Paul, contrary to popular legend was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Many times, children's feelings are hurt when they hear the word "no". Most children talk back when they cannot accept a set limit, especially the word "no". Setting unnecessary limits was unlawful in biblical times, with limits only being allowed in the case of a child behaving in an unsafe and/or immoral manner. The word "no" was banned in the Early Church except when the petitioned request was unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral in nature. Even then, parents usually found a nicer way of declining a request than the word "no", such as "that isn't possible", "that can't happen", or "that won't work".

Any parenting motivated by anger in the Early Church was seen as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey. Most parenting then was not done out of anger, but was instead done out of worry or concern. Most Christian parents in the Early Church worried a lot about their children, meaning they never got angry with their children at all. Mother Mary was very much worried about her son Jesus, and most mothers then worried like that. Most Jewish mothers today worry a lot, meaning it is a myth that a Jewish mother is a nag.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!