Back talk: Why back talk is not deserving of punishment

Many parent have to deal with it. Most children talk back to their parents at some point during their childhood. This is normal childhood behavior in children. However, most parents believe that children should be punished for talking back. But, the fact of the matter is that back talk is that children talk back when they cannot accept a limit. Whenever you refuse to apologize for hurting your child's feelings in this regard, you are guilty of child abuse.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards children. The idea behind not abusing your child is to avoid offense in a child. However, it inevitable that children's feelings are going to be hurt in the course of parenting, and thus parents need to be willing to apologize meaningfully to children that they caused to be upset. Children oftentimes are upset when they cannot accept a limit. One way that children express displeasure due to set limits is by talking back. Whenever your child talks back to you, you owe them an apology. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in parents. However, if you ever lose your cool as a parent, you need to give a formal apology, and then committing never to losing your cool with your children ever again, as losing your cool as a parent is entitlement, with was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandment, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Back talk is a common motive for parents to spank or otherwise punish their children. However, the main reason why children talk back is that they cannot accept a set limit. The idea is to reassure children of your good intent whenever they talk back.

It is good to set limits, but only when absolutely necessary. Christian parents in the Early Christian churches were only allowed to set direct limits when the child was behaving in an unsafe or immoral manner. Sometimes, children petitioned their parents for goodies, and they usually got what they wanted. However, if the petitioned request was unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral, parents declined the request. However, children were rarely told "no" flat out, and instead were given nicer-sounding phrases, such as "that won't work", "that can't happen", or "that isn't possible". When a child can't accept a limit, and talk back, it is good to apologize by way of reassuring good intent in parents.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.