Many parents think that the Bible teaches to spank your child, or else punish them. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that the Bible is a pro-spanking document. However, the Bible is an anti-spanking document.
He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
The Hebrew root word translated "son" is ben and refers to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers, in context, to a switch. However, this passage here refers to judicial corporal punishment, meaning not domestic corporal punishment, with it being unlawful then to strike a minor for any reasons. Striking a fellow Jew was only allowed in a courtroom setting. This passage ultimately refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes, administered to the bare back, within the context of a courtroom. This verse was necessary because, otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son. Fathers alone had no right to mete out punishment, with fathers instead being deputized by the state to punish his child, regardless as to how much they excused their child's misconduct.
Christ's Work on the cross repealed the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. These punishments included the 40 minus 1 lashes. The curse of the Law was the fact the no Jew could keep the Law perfectly. Christ kept the Law perfectly, and thus the curse of the Law was broken.
The Bible does not weigh in on spanking in Proverbs, proper. The Bible, on the issue of corporal punishment, refers to a judicial punishment that does not exist today. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking or punishing children - you need to avoid offense in children. However, hurt feelings in children are inevitable in parenting. Thus, you should be willing to meaningfully apologize to children for hurting their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent in parents. However, if you ever lose your cool as a parent, you should definitely apologize to your child, and then commit to never losing your cool with your child ever again, as this is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement even in biblical times. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly refers to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on child, such as spanking and other forms of punishment of a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
It is a myth that the biblical context condones child sexual abuse. In many ancient cultures, fathers sexually corrected their children when they cried too much for the mother's patience. However, in Ancient Israel and the Early Church, mothers were there all of the time, with children staying right next to mom through the first 6 years of childhood. Fathers were never allowed to sexually correct a child, with fathers instead masturbating to their parent attraction to their children.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torrents, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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