Children first, parents last - God's order of the family

 Many parents believe that they are authority figures over their children. They often cite the Bible as an excuse for their abuse against children. The motto of true biblical parenting is children first, and parents last. Parents are last in terms of priorities, and children first.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to a form of trust in parents, meaning secure, vulnerable rest in the care and safety of parents, being able to be oneself in their presence, being able to tell them everything and anything that is on your mind, owing nothing to parents in return, yet nonetheless listening to parents out of warm, vulnerable trust. This stems from Christian love for one's child's, denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to selfless, dutiful submission to children, sacrificing oneself in relation to one's child, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, rendering oneself beneath one's child, out of humility and shamefacedness, expecting nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" and refers to ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses, meaning torts and damages, such as assault and battery laws that extend to protecting children. In the New Testament, this is implicitly defined as the slightest of personal slights perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. Entitlement is denoted by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektes) and refers to the attitude of "I am a good, loving parent" leading to wanting things from a child, or a child to do things, to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child, leading to abuse/theft determined by the offense taken by the child.

Parenting in the biblical context was attachment-based, meaning children co-sleeping next to mothers and held their children in swaddling clothes next to her. Children up to age 3 were seen as infants, meaning a 2-year-old threw a fit was comforted just like an infant. These parenting principles can be applied today, at least in spirit, by Christian parents. It is called putting your children first, and you as the parent last, surrendering and turning yourself into the lawful and authority of your child, being summoned by their children for their every need, including benign wants as attachment needs. A child being that close to mother was seen as obedient then - meaning such a child, when left go (which happened sometimes) would range themselves next to their mother, with parents being primary providers, not primary authoritarian.

The depraved and entitled parents who punish or mollycoddle their children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them rot and burn in the lake of fire and brimstone, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his angel!