Christian attachment parenting: Why the Bible endorses attachment parenting

Many parents think that the Bible and its context calls for punitive parenting. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parents are unaware that the Bible actually prescribes a distinct form of attachment parenting known as Christian attachment parenting. Christian attachment parenting is notable for its stress on discipline, and its stress on skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance. It is attachment parenting aimed at passing down the Christian faith.

Christian attachment parenting is summed up in the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in the footsteps of parents. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as taking turns, being patient, or showing self-control - children were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when they were caught being good by their father, whereas girls were given a side embrace when they were caught being good by their fathers. Children also needed religious instruction from their fathers. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. This instruction starts with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for the child to discover and explore, usually with the child teaching themselves how to read on that very Bible. From there, when fathers caught their child reading the Bible, they were lavishly praise and encouraged with phrases such as "that book is good for you". Religious instruction came, from that point on, in the form of question and answer. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers giving pointers on the context. Children studied the Bible on their own, with the instruction of the Lord being directed by the praise and encouragement of fathers, with fathers giving children pointers on the context in the mean time. 

The religious development of children is a valid concept. Most religious development starts at age 6, when children usually discover the Bible. From there, the religious beliefs are usually are simplistic and non-conforming to any religious sect or denomination. As they got older, they usually grow towards a specific religious sect or denomination. They may not grow towards your values, but at least they have values. There is no need to beat a religious education into a child, as children's religious beliefs develop on their own. But, if you like their values, praise and encourage those values. If you do it right from day one, you can hope for children to grow towards your religious example.

What motivates children to hear out the warning of their father? What better way to motivate children to learn good values than a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children are held constantly by mothers, either in her arms, or else on her back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. When children were aged between age 2-6, they ranged next to mothers, with children demanding that mothers not leave their line of sight. Even when mothers as much as went into the other room, children followed the mother, afraid of mom "going away and never coming back". When out and about, mothers swaddled their children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy, with co-sleeping ending when children reached the onset of puberty, and wanted their own place to sleep. 

The abovementioned secure attachment with mothers led to a secure secondary attachment with fathers. Most secure attachment with mothers was based on close maternal warmth. However, fathers related to their children in the form of a sexual attachment. That sexual attachment favored daughters over sons, with daughters also having a sexual attachment to their fathers, in mutually unrequited format. Fathers then dealt with their sexual attachment to their child by way of righteous masturbation. It is a myth that fathers sexually corrected their children in biblical times. Fathers simply stole glances of their naked children - which all children were then - and then masturbated to sexual thoughts of their children. In most ancient cultures, fathers sexually corrected their children, but God chose Israel, a country that prohibited all sexual relations with a child, including the corrective type.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!