Many parents believe in controlling their children, commonly with punishments such as spanking and time-out. Such parents often cite the Bible as an excuse to abuse children. The proper code of headship over children is pro-social chivalry, pro-social submission. Because that is what love is in relation to a child.
It says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 KJV:
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up; Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoke, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in inequity, but rejoiceth in the truth, Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth; but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease, whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
The Greek root word translated "charity" is αγαπαο refers to Agape love, meaning dutiful, selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of a child, knowing that one is guilty merely for existing in relation to said child for one's capacity to harm, not ever more knowing what it like to be a child, doing good acts of service towards a child, with a smile while holding hands, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children. It is an attitude of chivalry towards children, meaning putting their needs first and your own needs as a parent last. Children first, parents last. Children are not possessions or mere chattel to be proud of having, but people in their own right, and their needs come before any adult's needs in relation to children.
This was the custom in ancient Jewish culture towards children, meaning parents submitted to their children then to earn respect. Then, children rested in the love and grace of parents, especially mothers, being able to be themselves, while being close to mother. Think papoose bag, and you get the idea of what parenting was like then.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things, lest they become discouraged. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the care and safety of parents, with children able to be themselves in relation to children, being able to tell parents anything, owing absolutely nothing in return in relation to parents, but with children nonetheless listening to parents, not out of fear, but out of trust for parents. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses, meaning the torts and damages under Jewish law, meaning assault and battery torts, including those that protect children. In the New Testament. the offenses are summed up as the slightest of personal slights perceived by entitlement, denoted by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektes) and refers to wanting things from children, or wanting them to do things, to the point where you seek to impose said want onto a child, leading to theft/abuse upon perceived offense from a child based on said entitlement.
The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn and suffer in the ever-burning lake of fire and brimstone, which is the second death! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is hand.
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