Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this passage is not a spanking passage

Many parents still punish their children. This is a common behavior on the part of parents. Most American parents justify their punishment habit using the Bible. There is one passage in particular that is used falsely advocate for corporal punishment in the New Testament. This passage is Heb. 12:5-8. 

God's Word states in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons, for which son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sons.

This verse, when interpreted correctly, gives me comfort. This passage was intended by the Apostle Paul as comfort for the Hebrew Christians who were being persecuted at the hands of Rome. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, and did have a figurative meaning in this context. This passage is about enduring hardship, with the rod of correction being seen as a metaphor for God chastening up His children through trials and tribulations. The modern way to put this passage is "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger". 

God whips His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of His children. However, God only whips His children when it isn't harmful, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it is harmful. Due to the flaws inherent of earthly parenting, parents are not to discipline their children as God does. Instead, earthly parents are to bring up their children as comes naturally. The passage here in Heb. 12:5-8 does not talk about an earthly father disciplining his child, but only talks about how God punishes His children, like only He can. However, some passages in the Bible are directed towards earthly parents. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40; 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was convicting a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. When children were caught by fathers showing good traits, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught by fathers being good, whereas girls were given a kiss to the forehead when caught by fathers being good. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught reading the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what children saw in the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. Religious development is a part of child development, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. Younger children - starting around age 6 - start developing simplistic religious beliefs non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. However, as children got older, they start growing towards a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religion you would choose, but at least they have values.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or else on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following mom from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers were quick to coo at their children before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed the need and met it. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. When mothers and children under age 6 were out and about in public, mothers wrapped up her child next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - being tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin co-sleeping warmth happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which is when most children wanted their own place to sleep. Children in biblical times went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup helped facilitate easy skin-on-skin contact, with children experiencing skin-on-skin friction every time that they were picked up. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!