"Permissiveness doesn't exist" says gentle parents - um, yes it does, says this reformatory permissive abuser (and you aren't even close...)

 ...so why do you gentle parents want to the pedophiles that you are NOT. I am told by many here that "permissiveness is a made up word to shame parents for being a parent". Nope, they are misusing a word that describes a very serious form of pedophilic child abuse. It is like pulling the fire alarm. When you pull it enough times, people don't take you/it seriously.

I struggle with a sexual/behavioral neglect problem with children. I am a dating pedophile, and also a permissive pedophile in another context. Most of us permissives are dysfunctional atheists, meaning our bowl is filled with a hunk of junk, meaning strong and impulsive emotions such as anxiety and sexual entitlement. I hadn't exactly internalized with word "entitlement" except maybe "the world's looking down on me". I can state, with authority, that you gentle parents are not permissive.

Ever since I adopted positive parenting attitudes, I became more apt to set limits. Deep down, I wanted to set limits, including boundaries for myself in relation to my pedophilic sexual feelings, but didn't know where to start. So, check ages of development. Yeah, a 9-year-old is freaking hot, but she's also immature, in which case her true immaturity is what is attractive, but with said immaturity shining though as a way of saying "I'm not ready" (pro-social erotic denial, in warm convicting format). I now know nicer ways to say "no" than using that using that slavish word.

It's about a morbid fear of losing a child friend, and it being all your fault, and it being the end of the world that a child is mad at me. Note the word "mad" - THAT should scare us all, as that is what the guilt is conflated with. If a child was mad at me, however, I'd repel, and in extreme circumstances, fall asleep in a gaslighting manner, think a soothing temper on the desert sands, leaving me for dead - then I get up and know "I goofed"...I now know the Truth, and that I am not entitled to respect, approval, or appeasement from any child, and that I am deserving of DEATH and PUNISHMENT for my mere existence in relation to children.

The sort of guilty fear associated with permissiveness, when allowed to take hold, can lead to allowing your child to beat you up (again, common in homes where the child has a mood disorder - but otherwise is a sign of permissivness). Most of these perpetrators are the "Section 8" types to put children on a pedestal, rely on them with emotional-capacity to provide for them, seeing children as "best pals" in that lowly regard.

Permissiveness, in the United States, is not a parenting choice but an inborn trait, usually linked with pedophilia of some sort. 95% of sexual abusers do not fit the diagnostic criteria for pedophilia/pedophilic disorder, and most all pedophilic abusers are permissive, in some way, in some form. The reason why is that, due to their unique conditioning, they haven't internalized our punitive customs in terms of societal abuse against children. Most pedophiles are either complacent supporters of positive parenting (see its necessity as a no brainer, in a dismissive type of way) or struggle against permissive tendencies. Those of us that openly defended them were the abusers. No, not as a joke. Think a snarling watchdog. Most pedophiles joke about such a thing. I took that attitude towards younger family members.

There is no need to fear being permissive, even as a gentle parent. The only exception is if you are a pedophile, and pedophiles are quite able to reform themselves in most cases. Pro-spanking crusaders are telling you that "you'll become permissive" in order to control you.