Positive reinforcement: How to discipline your child without punitive measures

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common goal amongst American parents. However, most American parents equate discipline with punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, these parents need an attitude adjustment. There are better ways to discipline a child than through punitive parenting. 

God's Law on child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment states that discipline should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parogizo) and refers here to entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of parents refusing to apologize for hurting their child's feelings, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to apologize to your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper". and then commit never to lose your cool with your child as a parent, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of  patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this stanza of this commandment ultimately was received by the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed and all punitive sanctions in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

This second stanza of this commandment refers to what sort of discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching type. Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in their children, such as self-discipline and self-control. Children were left to form their own discipline, and when this discipline showed, children were given lavish praise and encouragement for more good behavior of the same. Christian parents imparted a good example for children to emulate, with this example being backed up by praise and encouragement, not punishment or shaming. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible, with the Apostle Pauk here referring to religious instruction. Starting at age 6, Christian fathers left out a copy of the Bible for children to discover and explore, with the Bible being left open to a reassuring passage (such as the Beatitudes). Children then taught themselves to read on a Bible. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to keep on studying the Bible. Fathers then interjected something along the lines of "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer format. Children were curious about Scripture, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This second stanza of this commandment refers to the Judeo-Christian tradition of positive reinforcement, wit this form of positive reinforcement being a Hebraic tradition dating thousands of years before the coming of Christ.

Most children form their own discipline around the age of 8. There is no need to beat discipline into a child. Children develop self-discipline and self-control all on their own. When children form their own discipline, they should be praised and encouraged for more good behavior of the same.

Many times, children get into mischief. Christian parents in the Early Church laughed with their children when they made messes or got into mischief. If a child draws on the wall, laugh about it  and clean it up later. The only time they need to hear the word "no" is when they are getting into something dangerous, such as a hot stove or a busy street. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!