Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here not simply to spanking a child for defiance, or else simply punishing children altogether for that reason. This commandment prohibits entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of a parent refusing to apologize to their child for hurting their feelings. One thing that hurts children's feelings more than anything is not being able to accept set limits. Many times, children show their displeasure for set limits by way of defiance. This defiance usually involves forceful tears and/or back talk whenever a child cannot accept a set limit. Your child is not out to get you. Your child simply cannot accept a set limit, with this being that the child lacks emotional self-control, with this lack of self-control lasting until age 8. Whatever is simply disappointing to adults is earth-shattering to young children. The idea here is to apologize whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your limits, ideally in the face of their defiance. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law. but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
Defiance si a normal and natural reaction in children to limits when they cannot accept a set limit. Children under age 8 lack emotional self-control. What is simply disappointing to adults is earth-shattering to young children. The idea is to apologize to your child whenever they are defiant towards set limits.
Children never are defiant in order to "undermine" you as a parent. They are not out to get you. They simply cannot accept a set limit. This defiance is a normal and natural stage in childhood behavior, lasting until age 8. Until then, children need you to apologize to them for hurting their feelings with your limits/
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices. Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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