Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
And is repeated in Ephesians 6:2-3 KJV:
Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
The Greek root word translated "honour" is τιμαω (Latin: timao) and refers here to being a caregiver for someone, namely a parent in this case. The idea is to give parents the same tender loving care that they gave you when you were a child. However, this only works if you had good parents. If your parents were at all entitled or abusive towards you, you owe nothing to them. This commandment was given by God because of an epidemic of elder abuse and neglect in both the parish at Ephesus and the Old Testament context.
Most parents insist on respect and honor from their children. "Dishonoring" parents is a common reason for punishment in most American homes. Quite a few parents punish their children just for clear "disrespect" and "dishonor". However, the Bible is clear that any punitive measures in parenting is prohibited. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here not just to spanking children, or else just to punishing children altogether for that matter. This commandment prohibits entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. Offense in children consists of hurt feelings in children that parents refuse to apologize for, at minimum. With that said, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for hurting your feelings with my temper", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commanmdment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin term roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received by the parish at Colossae as prohibiting causing offenses in children as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
Respect from children isn't bestowed on a silver platter. It is earned. If you want respect from your child, you need to give respect to children. If you make amends with your child, and treat them with love and kindness, they will do the same for you when you are older. But, if you are abusive towards your child at all, don't expect them to care for you when you are old and gray.
Any anger in parenting directed towards children was seen in the Early Church as something to keep away from children. Most parenting in the Early Church was instead motivated by anxiety as the base parenting emotion, meaning Christian parents then simply worried a lot about their children. Parent anger directed towards children is entitled in nature, and is something that is modeled from parent to child. Most Jewish parents have a long family history of zero parent anger towards their children. I myself, due to my autism, was born without that last level of entitlement, and will never feel anger towards a child no matter how disorderly or defiant that they are. I think they are cute when they get into messes or other mischief. The only anger that parents in the Early Church felt was protective anger - when children were being sexually abused, parents protected through the teeth.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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