Temper tantrums: Why temper tantrums are not bad behavior in children

Many parents have been there. A child kicking and screaming in full temper tantrum mode. This is a common and normal behavior in children. However, most American parents punish their children merely for temper tantrums. The fact of the matter is that temper tantrums are not bad behavior. Punishing a child for temper tantrums alone is child abuse.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your child to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. One expression of hurt feelings in children is a temper tantrum. There are two main reasons for a child throwing a temper tantrum. Reason number one is a child petitioning for a vulnerable need, and when you refuse to respond to the cries of children in this context, you offend your child. Another reason why children throw temper tantrums is due to parents setting a limit that the child cannot accept. The idea is to give children a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, when a child's feelings are hurt by limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child, including when a child is throwing a temper tantrum, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Temper tantrums, when thrown in order to advocate a need, require the parents to meet said need, and if they fail to, a formal apology is in order, such as "I apologize for not listening to you earlier" This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as a prohibition on all offenses or damages as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

For the first 6 years of childhood, children cry frequently in order to advocate for a vulnerable need. Most of the time, children cried then due to separation anxiety, meaning a morbid fear that mom would "go away and never come back", in which case parents should reassure children of their presence. Under customary law, children were seen as having five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with the greatest of these needs being attachment!

Sometimes, children throw a temper tantrum when a parent declines a petitioned want. In this case, parents are to apologize for hurting their child's feelings. In most cases, children will forgive you for hurting their feelings. If they don't forgive you, you have officially traumatized them. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!