Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

 Many parents support the use of corporal punishment in parenting. Many times, parents cite Scripture as their excuse for spanking their child, with the passages cited consisting of a few verses in the book of Proverbs, as well as a passage in the book of Hebrews. However, the core of the pro-spanking argument rests on Hebrews 12:5-6. But, this verse has nothing to do with any "biblical spanking", but instead refers to enduring hardship.

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it. This sort of language is known as "rod language". When a Christian in the Early Church got home from a long day at work, he instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally reach down from the Heavens and whip His children. But, God does punish His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of His children that He loves the most. However, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does, in fact, harm them. The Apostle Paul here was comforting the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any "biblical spanking". God does not want His Parenting methods used by earthly parents, as earthly parents might get it wrong. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in your child. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of an informal apology, when you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase translating roughly to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such aa spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this passage was ultimately received in the Early Church as prohibiting all offenses, as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

A staple punishment in the broader Greco-Roman world consisted of an open-handed spanking to the bare bottom. This sort of punitive parenting was seen by the Early Christians as pagan in nature, and was shunned as such. A few Greek Christian parents did punish their children this way, but Paul would have none of it, convicting the Greek Christian parents in question of their offenses against their children.

Any parent anger directed towards a child in the Early Church was seen as entitlement. Most parents in the Early Church did not have an entitled parental backbone. Instead, Christian parents in the Early Church were motivated by worry or concern. Anger at a child in a parent was instead seen as akin to a viper striking out against its prey - maybe the child was given a warning, but that was about it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!