"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents think it is acceptable to physically punish a child. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents cite the Bible to justify their choice to use physical punishment, usually by arguing the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child". This phrase points to 6 verses in the book of Proverbs that mention the rod of correction. However, the rod of correction was never used in the Old Testament for purposes of parenting, and instead was a form of judicial corporal punishment.

One popular rod verse for parents to cite is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. 

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers to, in the context of the book of Proverbs, to the rod of correction, namely a switch. This passage, and those like it, ultimately refer to the 40 minus 1 lashes, applied to the bare back of an adult son, in the context of a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking a fellow Jew was prohibited under Jewish law except in the context of a courtroom, and striking a minor Jew was prohibited regardless. The reason for this commandment was that, otherwise, Jewish fathers would refuse to administer the blows that he was deputized by the court to impose.

All 6 verses that mention the rod of correction are repealed verses. Christ did away with the harsh punishments of the Old Testament with His Work on the cross. Christ endured the 40 minus 1 lashes from the Romans before being nailed to the cross. Thus, because Christ endured physical punishment unjustly, the Early Christians shunned all corporal and capital punishment of anyone.

The Bible does not speak of any "biblical spanking". The rod verses in Proverbs do not refer to any sort of Christian parenting, but instead refers to judicial corporal punishment. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your child altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology to your child whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this passage ultimately refers to offenses towards children, as perceived by the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals, with all of these parenting manuals advocated attachment parenting. Among these biblical writers writing attachment parenting manuals was King Solomon. King Solomon recommended intense closeness for the first 6 years of childhood, with children then wanting to please their parents in an affectionate way.

Anger at children alone was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. Most parents in the Early Church were not motivated by anger, but instead were motivated by worry or concern. Christian parents in the Early Church were prohibited from having parent anger at their children. The only place where parents were allowed to ger angry was in the context of protecting their children from interlopers. Anger at a child then was seen as akin to a viper - maybe the child got some warning, but that's about it.

The Apostle Paul was a child advocate, meaning he was not a strongman in most cases. Paul was a very emotional man, and could cry at the drop of a hat. However, he became a strongman when advocating for children. Paul wrote many parenting manuals to many Christian parishes, all advocating attachment parenting. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!