Honor parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents insist on respect from their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish their children for "disrespect" and "speaking against parents". However, the fact of the matter is that the Bible does not prohibit speaking against parents, but instead commands children to care for their parents as they age.

The Fifth Commandment states in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee

The Bible here does not prohibit speaking against parents. Instead, all this commandment says is to care for your aging parents. The idea is to give them the same tender loving care that they gave you. However, children have the right to shun their entitled and abusive parents. A child only is obligated to forgive parents if the parent apologizes first for their entitled and abusive behavior. 

The Fifth Commandment is commonly misused as an abuser's excuse for punishing children, However, the Bible is clear that punishment of a child, or else any punitive parenting, is a moral crime against children. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking and punishing your children - you need to ideally avoid the slightest of offense perceived by a child. However, offending children is inevitable in parenting, and thus you should be willing to give a meaningful apology to children whenever you offend them. If you cause a child to be upset at all, you have offended them, and thus you should apologize. Usually, all that is needed is a reassurance of good intent, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you lose your cool with your child, you are crossing into clear entitlement territory, and thus a formal apology is necessary, such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you" , with you then committing to never losing your cool again. If you even refuse to apologize to a child that you upset, you are entitled. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patruas potestas, which is a Latin phrase that roughly translates to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions in parenting, such as spanking and other forms of punishment towards children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The Fifth Commandment is an obvious commandment today. However, things weren't so obvious in that regard for the Ancient Israelites. Ancient Israel had an epidemic of elder abuse and neglect. Thus, God needed to give a commandment to lay down the Law, convicting adult children on how they were treating their parents in such a reprehensible manner. 

The parent protection laws ultimately had to be laid down, with some adult children receiving the tail end of the rod of correction, in the form of the rod of correction. This whipping was a last resort for parents before putting their child to death, meaning it only happened once. However, the harsh punishments of the Old Testament are repealed by Christ's Work on the cross. Minor children were not allowed to be whipped for anything. These parent protection laws are specific to the Old Testament, as there was an elder abuse problem in the Old Testament context. Attacking parents was specifically banned in the Old Testament (see also Exod  21:15). Cursing parents referred to something specific - a gaslighting curse of the airborne type, meaning raping parents to send them places (see also Lev. 20:9).

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!