The word "no": Why telling children "no" frequently is child abuse

Many parents think children need to hear the word "no" frequent and often. This is a common attitude towards children on the part of parents. Most parents offend their children this way, not thinking for a moment how entitled they are. The fact of the matter is that saying "no" all the time is child abuse. 

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking or punishing a child - you should avoid even the slightest of offense perceived by a child. However, offending children is inevitable in parenting, and thus a parent should be willing to apologize to their child whenever they offend their child. Any time you cause your child to be upset, you have offended them  and thus you need to apologize. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, when you lose your cool with your child, you are crossing into clear entitlement territory, and thus a formal apology is necessary, such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you", with you then committing never to losing your cool that way ever again. Even refusing to apologize to a child is entitlement in and of itself. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandment, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, and is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, including spanking and other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The word "no" alone, when used frequently, can cause irreparable harm to the parent-child bond. The Early Christians knew this instinctively, and thus customary law then only allowed the word "no" under the strictest of circumstances. Under customary law then, children were only given the word "no", or else were handed a limit, if the child's behaviors or petitioned requests were unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral  

The main reason for the word "no" in dependent children then was sexual promiscuity, meaning parents supervised the courtship of their children, only marrying off their daughters to the suitor that made her wait until marriage. Apart from that, Christian parents in the Early Church used nicer-sounding words in place of the word "no", such as "that can't work", "that can't happen", or "that isn't possible". When children couldn't accept a set limit, they were given an apology. 

Christian parents in the Early Church never set a limit for their children out of anger. That is because parents then never got angry with their children. Parent anger is something in our flawed genome, but only when it is modeled to children. The Early Christians had Jewish blood, meaning no parent anger to show or to hide. Even the Greek and Roman believers eventually lost that unnecessary backbone. There is no need for that kind of protection even today. as I have no genetic capacity for parent anger, and yet I can assert myself just fine when called to. Parenting in the Early Church was instead motivated by worry and concern, with parental concern being the core driver of parental instinct. Jewish mothers even today are not nags, but instead simply worry a lot about their children. Mother Mary was worried to death for her Son Jesus Christ, knowing His fate as the Only Begotten Son of God  Jesus was the perfect child from early on, and even when He ran away to the Temple, all that happened was the rabbis being astonished by His religious astuteness, with this astuteness being evident by the age of 3. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!