Many parents feel entitled to honor from their children. This is a common attitude towards children on the part of parents. However, the fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment means care for your parents as they age.
The Fifth Commandment is stated in Exodus 20:12 KJV:
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
This commandment does not prohibit a child for speaking against their parents. Instead, this commandment simply means that children should ideally care for their parents as they age. However, if your parents abuse you in any way, you have the right to shun your parents.
The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for their children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works is defined here as doing good things for children, meeting the child's every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46; 1Cor. 13:4-8.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers her to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were initially charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon
The Fifth Commandment does not give parents the right to insist on respect, or to punish children for disrespect. Instead, the Fifth Commandment simply prescribes that children take care of their parents as they age. This care for aging parents can be seen as a thank-you to parents for all the loving memories made. However, when parents were abusive, children ad the right to shun their parents.
Children growing up in the Early Church were cooperative with parents in an affectionate way. Attachment parenting is what was done by Christian parents in the Early Church. When you bring up a child in a securely attached home, they want to please you, and make your day. Expect first children doing chores around the house, just to please mom and dad. This secure attachment prepares children for caring for their parents as they age, as thanksgiving for being brought up in a securely attached home.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and nightf forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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