Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live along on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers t secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-4t0, 25:31-46.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργtιζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child. stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul. and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting. after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under th e Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating their children as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend. was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.
The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, gently melding the countenance of children. In this context, this can only mean one thing - lavishly praising and encouraging children when they were caught in the act of good behavior. Whenever children were caught in the act of being good, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learn good behavior from the Christian example of parents. However, this good example of parents was backed up by lavish praise and encouragement, not harsh punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction starts out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, based off of the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This religious instruction, as well as any catching of a child being good, is ultimately what centered the countenance of children.
Child punishment was seen in biblical times as completely unnecessary as well as abusive. Instead of parents catching children in the act of being "bad", their behaviors were left go, and maybe were even a reason for righteous laughter. Children under age 6 lack the self-control necessary to behave in a way that is socially unacceptable.
It is a myth that the ancients had no concept of childhood. The fact of the matter is that the Early Christian context clearly aligns with today's context, apart from the age of marriage then. Even then, you could have it with a 13-year-old, but only if you were still 13 yourself, or else with the bride being slightly older. Even in the case of Lev. 18:17, "mother and her daughter" was interpreted as any sexual relations with a dependent daughter, with the mother usually guarding the daughter closely until she turned 12 - the verse ultimately reiterated a protective menace that convicted men before they even got close to their daughter. Ultimately, adult men masturbated to sexual thoughts of their children, with the relationship with daughters coming in mutually unrequited format.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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