Why to catch children being good (as opposed to catching them being bad)

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to discipline a child. The idea is to catch your child in the act of being good, and give them lavish praise and encouragement.

Catching children in the act of being good is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in it original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his times as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, gently melding the countenance of a child. In this context, this can only mean one thing - lavishly praising and encouraging children when they were caught in the act of good behavior. Whenever children were caught in the act of good behavior, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learned good behavior through the Christian example of parents. However, this good example was ultimately backed up by lavish praise and encouragement, not harsh punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction starts out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with phrases such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. Today, children have the Internet to help them in their religious development. This religious development, alongside any praise coming from parents, is ultimately what centered the countenance of children, which was the Judeo-Christian goal of earthly parents, then and now.

Child punishment was seen in biblical times as completely unnecessary and outright abusive. Instead of children being punished for doing the wrong thing, children were left go whenever they were found out behaving "bad". Children who acted up were instead treated to righteous laughter. Children younger than age 6 lack the self-control to behave in socially appropriate ways.

Contrary to popular legend, the Early Christian context won't "lead a man down the wrong path". The fact of the matter is that you could have a young woman at age 13 in the context, but only if you were yourself age 13. The marriage customs lifted up by the Greek root word πορνεία (Latin: porneia) required for a marriage to be equal in terms of age or place in life. Rom. 13:1-4 ensures that the ages today are what counts, as the the language refers to "higher powers" instead of "Rome", and "rulers" plural instead of "Roman emperors". Even in the case of the language "mother and her daughter", Lev. 18:17 was applied broadly, not narrowly, in a pictorial manner that was convicting to men. A better reading is the story of Lot, with Lot being the one slew by God - most child sexual abuse in biblical times involves alcohol being introduced by the victims, but God sure saw fit with blaming the man of the house anyways.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!