The word "no": Why children need to hear the word "no" rarely (meaning almost never)

Many parents think that children need to hear the word "no" frequent and often. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, the fact of the matter is that children do not have a need to hear the word "no". Children need to hear the word "yes" far more often than the word "no".

Hearing the word "yes" far more than the word "no" is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context. as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen ase holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating their child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend  was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Children need to hear the word "no" seldom, meaning almost never. In the Early Church, under customary law, parents were forbidden from saying the word "no" to their children, by default. The only exceptions to this rule was if the petitioned demands from children were unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral.

Children growing up in the Early Church heard the word "yes" far more frequently than the word 
"no". Whenever children were given the word "yes", that helped gel the bond between parent and child. Children do have needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment. The word "no" is nowhere found as a childhood need in biblical times. However. the word "yes" counts as an attachment need.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which was the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!