Passing down the faith: How to instruct your children in the Christian faith

Many parents want their children to have religion. This often comes in the form of parents preaching religion to their children. Most American parents believe in breaking the will of a child in order to instruct them in the Christian faith. However, children don't need to be punished in order to accept Christ as their Savior. 

The Christian warning of parents is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were initially charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific form of nurturing, namely nurturing in a teaching way. Whenever children were caught in the act of good behavior, they were given lavish praise and encouragement by fathers for more behavior of the same. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for their children, and backed up their example with praise and encouragement, as opposed to backing it up with punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers here to Christian warning for children, but the gentle type. Parents started out the religious instruction of their children by leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given praise and encouragement for more of the same in terms of heeding warning. From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being curious about the Bible, and fathers giving pointers as to the context.  

Children do not need their will to be broken in order to accept Christ as their Savior. Children surely don't need "the devil beaten out of them". Children instead simply need praise and encouragement for studying the Bible. Children usually first develop religion when a Bible is left out, for children to explore and ask questions about. The idea is to look up the context yourself, and from there, give children pointers as to the biblical context. 

Christian warning here refers not to punishing or using force on children, but to fathers pointing out the context to children. Fathers should sit down next to their children when they ask a whole bunch of questions about the Bible, and have quality conversation about the biblical context and how it relates to the Bible. At some point, children are bound to ask questions about sin and atonement, in which case they are ready to be warned about the existence of Heaven and Hell. However, they are not ready to learn about sin and atonement until they pop the question themselves.

Children naturally absorb religion as a human need. There is no need to push religion on children. Grateful positions should not be forced on children, but should be allowed to happen on their own as an indicator of religious astuteness. When they tie their hands behind their back, they have hit perfection. When you force religion on a child instead, it doesn't work the same as if they found those positions themselves when exploring the Bible on their own. 

Children were also praised and encouraged when they engaged in good behavior. When children showed self-strictness, they were praised and encouraged for more good behavior of the same. Studying the Bible was just one reason why children were praised. Whenever a parent saw good traits in children, they were given praise for more of the same. Good traits here refer to self-control, meaning when children waited patiently for example, they were praised and encouraged lavishly. The idea behind self-control in children was to show it yourself in your good Christian example, and watch as the child follows suit. When the child shows self-control, including patience, the father should praise and encourage more self-control in children.

Fathers were the primary religious teachers of children in biblical times. When children found the Bible, fathers praised and encouraged the child to keep reading the Bible, and invited the child to ask them anything they were curious about concerning the context. Fathers, from there, gave pointers as to the context, in a fun and inviting way. Today, parents should explore the biblical context, and answer any questions their children may have about the Bible.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God1 Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and burning sulfur, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!