Righteous pampering: Why God wants you to pamper your children

Many parents think children should not be pampered, because they might "take advantage" of parents and "overstay their welcome". This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, the fact of the matter is that children deserve to be pampered and babied, not just some of the time - but ALL of the time.

Righteous pampering is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offenses perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Righteous pampering refers to pampering and babying children, but in a certain specific way. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness with mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. During the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following mom from room to room, not letting mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever a child cried, mothers cooed before picking them up, then diagnosing the need from there. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Children under age 6, when out and about in public, were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - tied to the bosom of mothers beneath a loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping lasting until the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked in biblical times, wherever they went, with mothers also going naked in the family home. This setup of birth nudity helped facilitate skin-on-skin warmth and sustenance. 

Children over age 6 were allowed to play freely outside, naked. This happened, however, only after checking in with mom first. Children ventured farther and farther from home, exploring the terrain, playing high-risk games such as "marriage". Children, come nightfall, were called by name and fed a nice, warm dinner, and then they recharged in the loving co-sleeping warmth of mothers. The modern application to this is telling children over age 6 that it is okay to play outside until the streetlights turn on. Children today have one weapon against child abduction that they didn't have when the older generation grew up - a cell phone. But, children under age 6, don't understand things such as the street being dangerous. In the Early Church, children could get into venomous snakes and scorpions, and since there was no such thing as antivenom then, the child died. Either way, a child up until age 6 is meant to be supervised closely, in a way that bonds with mothers. 

Part of righteous pampering is saying "no" seldom, meaning almost never. Children in biblical times got most of what they wanted, and all of what they needed. Children issued orders as to what they needed, usually by crying and whining. When those behaviors came about in children, mothers knew the child needed something. In most cases, sibling rivalry was non-existent, and siblings simply competed by parroting each other's wants/needs. When one child wanted something, they all did. So, parents had no choice but to give up the fight, and give in to childhood demands. Whining can be annoying to some parents, but it is actually a sign of maturity - first they cry, then later they whine. The idea is to pamper them every time they cry or whine. Children need to hear "yes" far often than the word "no", as saying "yes" often builds a secure attachment between parent and child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!