Righteous pampering: Why God wants you to pamper and baby your children

Many parents oppose the idea of pampering children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents believe that pampering your child is the same as spoiling them. However, the fact of the matter is that God wants you to pamper and baby your child, not just some of the time, but all of the time.

Righteous pampering is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of children. This highlighted word refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission. where parents are to perform good works for their children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works refers here to doing good things for children, meeting children's every vulnerable needs, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46; 1Cor. 13:4-8.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were initially charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

Righteous pampering refers not to any old pampering and babying of children, but a certain specific form of pampering, using the context as a guidepost. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mom went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or else on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, seemingly attached to mom at the hip, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed before picking up their child, and from there, she diagnosed the needs of that child. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Whatever the child wanted, they got it. When mothers and children under age 6 were out and about in public, mom wrapped up her child next to her bosom in swaddling blankets. The swaddling blankets - and the child with them - were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, Christian parents in the Early Church co-slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the context of the family home. This birth nudity setup helped facilitate easy skin-on-skin sustaining warmth, with children receiving rays of skin-on-skin contact merely when being picked up. 

Children aged 6 and up engaged in wet and messy play, naked. Children growing up in the Early Church ventured farther and farther from home, exploring the terrain, getting into mud battles in the mean time. However, children had to check in with mom before venturing outside. Come evening, children were called - one by one - and were cleaned up with a handrag before being treated to a warm, homecooked meal from mom. When older children weren't playing, they accompanied mom to market, and were given their own spending money - without ever having to work for it. Children alternated between wanting closeness with mothers, and wanting to be independent from parents, and as the child got older, the more they wanted to do things on their own.

Children under age 6 were very much protected, but in a sheltered sort of way. There existed environmental hazards in biblical times, namely venomous snakes and scorpions, and so children that young rarely went far from home. Today, there also exist dangers, namely busy streets and would-be kidnappers. It is recommended that mothers stay home for the first 6 years of childhood, meaning quit her job in order to tend to her little ones. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!