Passing down the faith: How to pass down the Christian faith (without punishment or force)

Many parents want their children to have the same values as them. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. There is no sure fire way to impart your own religious values onto children. However, children can have values, as religion is a human need for children or adults alike.

Passing down the faith is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting any and all punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating their child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here, in this context, to modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The standard of Christian discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children then following in their parents' footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - children were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught by fathers being good, whereas girls were given a kiss to the forehead when caught by fathers being good. Children also needed religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction of children came in the form of question and answer, based off of what children read in the text of the Bible. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to point out the context. 

Religious development is a part of child development, with religion being a human need in children and adults alike. Young children's religious beliefs start out being simplistic and non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. However, as children get older, they start to conform to a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religion you would have in mind, but at least they have values. You can limit their access to religious beliefs by only leaving out a Christian Bible.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of fathers? Why not start with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were held constantly, either in the loving arms of mothers, or on her back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their sight, morbidly fearing that mothers would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers were quick to coo at their children, then picking them up, and from there, diagnosing the need. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. When mothers were out and about in public, their children - under age 6 - were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, with these swaddling blankets - and the child with them - were tucked under the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron, in skin-on-skin fashion. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers, with this co-sleeping lasting, in most cases, until the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep.

Mothers nurture up close, and fathers nurture from afar. Mothers nurture by way of intense closeness. Fathers nurture older children, in a teaching way, intended to pass down the Christian faith. Fathers kept their distance due to a sexual attachment to their children. However, fathers were not allowed the "icing on the cake". Instead, fathers dealt with their sexual desires for their children by way of righteous masturbation, meaning fathers masturbated in order to stay out of trouble. Most of the time, children spent time with mothers, but when they were caught being good by fathers, dad then lavishly praised and encouraged the good traits in his children. When the man of the house masturbates to their sexual attachment to his child, they become warmer and gentler with their children, but in a distant way. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!