Christian attachment parenting: Upholding the Christian tradition

Many parents think that punitive parenting is part of the Christian tradition of this country. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish children because, at some level, they think it falls into the Christian tradition of this country. The fact of the matter is that Christian attachment parenting is what was practiced in the biblical context that we glean from as a country.

America is a Christian nation, founded upon Judeo-Christian family values. The Bible is a founding document of this country, even above the Constitution itself. We were founded with a secular government, balanced by a religious society. We use the Bible and its context as a blueprint as to how society should work in the United States of America. The fact of the matter is that Ancient Jewish culture was an attachment parenting culture, with child worshipping customs. The only time the rod of correction was ever used was in the Old Testament in the form of 40 minus 1 lashes, as a summary sentence for committing a capital offense. Minor children were never whipped in Ancient Israel. The Early Christians never invoked the rod of correction.

Christian attachment parenting is based on the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, where a child rests securely in the loving arms of parents. One passage really spells this out. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of parent submission. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) refers here, in this context, to modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church worked to center their entitlement in view of their children, and then children followed suit. Children were caught being good in biblical times, instead of being caught being bad. Children who emulated the disciplined example of parents - by showing self-control or giving up something they really wanted - were praised to "keep going down the straight path". Children otherwise were allowed to behave in a childish or immature manner, with crying and temper tantrums being met with sustaining warmth. Sometimes, parents needed to give direct instruction to their children. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to direct parental instruction. Parents could not issue lawfully binding orders towards their children, and so they had to plead with their children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, knowing they'd get nothing in return. Parents asked for favors from their children politely, saying "please" and "thank you" in the process.

Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting based off of the Early Christian context. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, meaning mother and child were naked next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. For the first 6 years of a child's life, they were in constant closeness to their mother, following her around the house, co-snuggling with mothers in skin-on-skin format when crying or upset. When mothers were out and about, young children - under age 6 - were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, tucked under her loose, revealing dress. After age 6, children squirmed out of the closeness of mothers, playing outside freely while venturing farther and farther from home, then retreating to the sustaining warmth of mothers once more, in the form of skin-on-skin co-sleeping. Co-sleeping in biblical times lasted until the child hit puberty, with the child then wanting their own place to sleep.

Christian attachment parenting is an American tradition. We just did not affirm that tradition until now. We as a nation glean from the Bible and its context as a blueprint as to how society should be run. We are a Christian nation, founded upon Judeo-Christian family values. Nowhere in those values does it legitimately say to punish children. It says not to provoke children to wrath, meaning do not offend children in any way with your parental entitlement. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!