Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior in children

Many parents think that children cry in order to "undermine" parents. Crying in children is usually met with punishment. However, the fact of the matter is that children cry to communicate a vulnerable need. There is nothing to take personally in a child's crying.

Tending to a crying child is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works here is defined as doing good things for children, meeting children's every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46; 1Cor. 13:4-8

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

Many parents insist on children not crying. This is a common entitled demand coming from American parents. However, crying is not bad behavior. Christian mothers in the Early Church responded to the every need of a child, with children crying out for love from a parent. Parents in the Early Church met the every vulnerable need of children, without exception.

There are five main categories of needs in children; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with the greatest of these needs being attachment! Whatever the child needed, they got it. Sleep, as a need, is lumped in with attachment, as a tired child needs warm and comfy co-sleeping with mom, which also helps to gel the bond between parent and child in the family home. 

Whenever children growing up in the Early Church cried, mothers cooed before picking up the child, and from there, she diagnosed the need before meeting it. Cooing is a primal vocalization on the part of mothers that was intended by God to put children at ease. From there, children who could talk put their needs into words. Most of the time, all the child needed was loving comfort from mom. 

Crying is a normal stage of development for children, especially children under age 6. Most parents soothe babies when they cry. However, children cry most of the time for the same reason. Most children just want love from a parent when they are crying, meaning they cry for the same reason an infant cries. Babyhood in the Early Church lasted until age 6, instead of babyhood ending at age 1-2. Children never cry to "undermine parental authority". They instead cry because they need something, much like an infant. Children growing up in the Early Church who were aged 6 and up whined when they needed something, which simply prompted mothers to meet the needs of children. 

Children growing up in the Early Church simply cried a deathly, screeching cry that no loving mother could ignore. Most of the time, children then did not kick and scream when crying, as that behavior happens when parents don't listen the first time. Most parents punish their children merely for crying, which makes the child hide their needs, until they can't take it anymore, and fall apart in the form of a temper tantrum. Crying instead should be seen as a child's way of communicating their every vulnerable need, and thus a parent should respond to the every vulnerable need of children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!