Respect: Why respect for parents is earned

Many parents want respect from their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parents want to be respected, but are this way in a demanding and entitled way. Most American parents feel entitled to respect from their children. The fact of the matter is that respect is earned in life, including in parenting.

Respect is earned in parenting through the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This implies that parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of parent submission. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Respect for parents was a concept in biblical times, but it wasn't understood then like it is today. Parents in biblical times didn't demand reverent respect from children. Instead, the respect children had for parents was one of closeness. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were pampered with birth nudity, where mothers and children were naked next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and warmth. For the latter 7 years of the childhood of children in the Early Church, children played freely and ventured far from home, but then retreated once more to the sustaining warmth of mothers by nightfall, in the form of skin-on-skin co-sleeping. This sustaining warmth is what earned the closeness and respect of children for parents, especially as adults. 

Parents could not issue lawful orders to their children, as parents were at the helm of their children and their lawful orders. Parents could not take their minor child to court, even for the worst of offenses, and if they did take their minor child to court, they were forced to apologize to the child on counts of perjury. Children were seen as vulnerable extensions of God, and were seen as doing no wrong, even when they did do things that were considered wrong. They were seen as the salt and light of the world, meaning a high tower of judgment over all adult-kind, discerning the sheep from the goats in terms of charity and generosity. Ancient Israel and the Early Church were both child worshipping societies, with children being representatives of God.

Parents are to be convicted of the fact that they are depraved and decadent sinners who are deserving of absolutely nothing. I myself, as a pedophilic adult, know that I am a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing. Not even respect. Not even forgiveness. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. All of the respect I do receive from children, which is plenty, I have earned, and earned undeservingly. Respect from children is something that you earn, not demand in an entitled manner. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!