Oppositional-defiant disorder: Why children with ODD need less limits (not more)

Many parents think that a child with oppositional-defiant disorder (ODD) needs more strictness imposed on them. This is a common misunderstanding about the disorder. Most parents think that a child with ODD needs punishment, and that they have the disorder because they never were punished. The fact of the matter is that ODD is a disorder secondary to a primary diagnosis, usually of autism, bipolar disorder, or ADHD. Children with ODD actually need less limits.

The care of children with ODD is based off of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers are to rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apsotle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their chiildren were chaeged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Mothers usually held babies and children constantly while breastfeeding them and holding yhem in skin-on-skin closeness in biblical times. However, some children were known as "stand-beside-me children". Young children, instead of being in immediate closeness, simply insisted that young children stand beside mothers. Children could hit, kick, or bite mothers, and they'd usually get what they want. It is thought that many of these children would have likely had oppositional-defiant disorder. 

Today, ODD in children can be dealt with using what is called reverse policing. This is where children and their demands are reverently feared just like one would the police. In biblical times, children who might have had ODD by today's mental health definitions were allowed to order parents around, and parents were placed in full and dutiful submission to their children. Stand-beside-me children issued righteous demands, and parents righteously caved to those demands. This is how the setup should be with a child with ODD. ODD, at the core, is about counter-control. Children with ODD have strong counter-control, meaning if you control them, they will control back, and they might just win. So, it is good to submit to your child with ODD.

Most children with ODD have it in conjunction with a primary diagnosis of autism, bipolar disorder, or ADHD. In most cases, ODD can be treated with medication. But, the right medication may not be found until later in the child's years. Until then, reverse policing helps to set the dynamic of the home right, with the child setting things right in the home. One case where ODD is a lifelong condition is in the case of antisocial autism, where the individual with autism was born with a strong counter-control. Some cases of bipolar disorder or ADHD are medication-resistant. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!