Why punitive parenting is kidnapping in the Bible (and enslavement)

Many parents think that it is acceptable to strike or punish a child. This is a common view amongst American parents. Most American parents believe children "need" to be punished in order to learn things such as respect and other life skills. The fact of the matter is that, in the Bible, parents who punished their children were charged with the capital offense of kidnapping. This offense had to do with capturing slaves, and punitive parenting was seen then as capturing your own child as a slave.

It says in Exodus 21:16 KJV:

And he that stealeth a man, and selleth him, or if he be found in his hand, he shall surely be put to death.

This passage has to do with keeping and selling slaves, namely captured slaves. That was how this moral statute was seen. Parents in biblical times who treated their children in a slavish and servile manner were also charged under this moral statute. "Or if he be found in his hand" meant then any hostage-taking, including by way of "or else" threats leading to punishment of children. After many warnings from the child victim's extended family, the family turned the parents over to the religious authorities, who set up a trial before the Sandhedrin, where, if convicted, they were sentenced to a summary punishment of 40 minus 1 lashes, and if they punished their children one last time, they were righteously kidnapped themselves and put to death on the spot, hung bloody by way of bloodletting. How serious did Jewish society then view child punishment? Think children chained up in basements. It was seen as capturing your own child as a slave, and parents were punished as if they captured a slave for themselves.

This legal context is repeated in the New Testament in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children then were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby capturing them as a slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context for a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

What are the alternatives to punitive parenting. Attachment parenting was the established norm in the Early Church, as well as their Jewish predecessors. Christian attachment parenting is about the doctrine of mutual submission. Submission is love, and love is submission. The Greek root word denoting Christian love for children is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in the context of parenting, prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, valuing children as extensions of God (see Matt. 22:35-40). True Love does not come from pride or desire, but from a place of fearful conviction, where a parent is convicted that they are a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else. This prompts the sinner/parent to pay due penance and serve their children. Children, in the wake of parental submission, rest securely and safely in the loving arms of parents (see Col. 3:20; Eph. 6:1-3). In biblical times, this meant mothers serving their children by providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Women and children both went naked in the house, and children went naked everywhere they went, with mothers cuddling up and snuggling up their children in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children were loved, in biblical times, as neighbors, not the enemy.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!